Two true things: One, at the shelter where I got my cat, they were calling her Mallory, and two, a friend of mine in high school pierced her boyfriend’s guy parts with a needle and ice cube. And now this book is forever ruined for you. Mwa ha ha!
So, this is one of the books where the main plot deals with sitting, while the subplot deals with the BSCers’ personal lives. Mallory gets a standing job sitting for the twins, Marilyn and Carolyn Arnold, two afternoons a week. All starts off well, until she tells them they look like bookends, wearing identical outfits with identical haircuts on identical halves of their mirror-image of a room. Then, they start speaking in tongues and take off their identity bracelets, which are the only way anyone can tell them apart. [Sidebar, your honor. What kind of fucked up parent pulls this shit? If they’re so identical that it takes a bracelet to tell them apart, maybe you shouldn’t dress them EXACTLY THE SAME! Seriously? Are they trying to torture/damn them to eternity in therapy?] So, Mal’s miserable, cause the girls are awful. Finally, though, she figures them out. They don’t want to be treated like the same person. They want to be individuals, like Dawn (I shit you not, that is the comparison she makes). So, she helps them talk to their mother about dressing differently and looking a little less like dolls. Well, mainly, they want to pick out their own clothes, but I’m suggesting that Mommie dearest was playing a little too much dress up with them.
Subplot: Mal is sick of looking “like a baby” and “babyish” (and needs to learn some new adjectives if she really wants to be a writer). She wants a haircut and pierced ears. So, after her success in dealing with Mrs. Arnold, she decides to talk to her parents. And they cave! (Of course they do. Mal’s constant bitching about her parents has always driven me batty, cause of all the Stoneybrook parents, I like the Pikes the best. Except for that whole not using birth control thing.) And she can spend some of her money on clothes (what parent will say no to that? “No, I won’t let you pay for your own clothes”). So, she gets to buy some new clothes when she takes the Arnold’s shopping for new clothes. And then comes the least realistic part of the whole book. The BSC all go to the mall where Mal and Jessy each get their ears pierced once, Claudia gets a second hole in one ear, and Dawn gets two holes in each ear. AND NONE OF THEIR PARENTS ARE THERE! My mom had to go with me, or you at least had to have written permission or something (This was 15, 16 years ago, so my memory isn’t that clear, but still…). They all had permission, but I have a hard time believing a piercing place would just let anyone get a hole punched. Think of the insurance! (That makes me sound so old.) And, help me out on this one, can you even get two holes at the same time with the piercing gun? I know you can at a real piercer’s, but I don’t think that would be too safe with the crazy gun.
It always cracks me up when they describe Kristy as “businesslike” cause she wears a visor. Heh.