Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Also commercials for razors; or, BSC Super Special #8: Baby-sitters at Shadow Lake

So, the time has come for my first Super Special recap. So, the simplest way to do this is to go through each of the many plot lines. Oh, and the title of this books should have been Ann M. Martin Hates Mallory, too.

The basic premise is: one of Watson’s distant relatives wants to leave him a big-ass cabin on a lake in Mass. He’s not sure, so he’s taking his family, the entire BSC and a couple extra kids to the cabin for two weeks for a test run.

The BSC stories:

Mallory: She sucks. The whole time she has problems with bug bites. So she goes around with a towel under a hat and a bug net? I’m still not sure how all that worked. But she complains and whines the whole time, and everyone is embarrassed by her. (Because heaven forbid they show concern that a friend of theirs is having a hard time.)

Jessi: She meets a boy who’s cute, but she feels all guilty, cause she’s absolutely positive that her sort-of long-distance boyfriend isn’t looking at other girls. [Remember Quint? She met him in the New York super special, and he’s older and a ballet dancer who’s studying at Julliard. And he’s straight. I’m so sure he’s waiting around for his Connecticut “girlfriend.” Have you seen the movie Camp? Cause I’m picturing him like Vlad, getting very, very lucky as the only straight boy for miles. So yeah.] Turns out that she doesn’t really like Daniel, and he has a girl back in Boston [whose name is Carol, cause he’s dating a thirty-year-old secretary. Odd name choice ANM. S’all I’m saying.], so all of Jessi’s stress is stupid.

Kristy: She finds a tiny mototboat and learns how to drive it [when I was thirteen, there was no way I was allowed to drive a boat without an adult with me. Just sayin.’] Oh, and she creates a trip journal and nags everyone to write about how cool the lake is, all in a transparent attempt to get Watson to accept the offer.

Dawn: Is an idiot. She is obsessed with a non-existent lake monster and finding the “mystery of Shadow Lake.” Well, she sorta finds one, and is a complete flake thinking she sees monsters and ghosts all over the place.

Mary Anne: babysits a lot. I can’t remember any other part of that plotline, so it must have been really exciting.

Claudia: She decorates the little boat to enter in the boat parade. As the lake monster.

Stacey: She and Sam finally hook up, after he pesters her to no end, cause apparently he’s 5, not 15. And seriously, what 15 year old will date a 13 year old. Not gonna happen. I don’t give a shit if she’s a sophisticated New Yorker.

Um, Karen, Hannie Papadakis and Nancy Dawes find a house in the woods and turn it into a cliché, while David Michael, Linny Papakakis and Nicky Pike try unsuccessfully to build a fort. Seriously, why would you bring this many kids on your vacation? Are you feeling okay? Do you need to lie down? How about some Valium? Would that help curb these self-destructive urges?

Emily Michelle: is a baby. She has no plotline, silly.

Oh, and for some twisted reason, they bring Boo-boo. The crazy cat. Why? Why not have somebody check on the cat? Or send it to a kennel? Who brings their crazy cat? And this is coming from someone who is way too attached to her cat.

In the end, Watson decides to keep the cabin. Hooray.


Sarah said...

Sadly this use to be one of my favorite Super Specials and now, I really wonder why because just reading your commentary makes me annoyed with the characters.

Do the island super special next! I need some snark for that.

Ledh said...

haha! god, I love you. I just read ONE of those reviews and now.. i'm going to read them all! I was so hooked on those books when i was ten , i totally wanted to be all of them at once. but when you rerezad them... well. whoa. XD. and the translations( i'm belgian) are hysterical, since they made new york into amsterdam and such.

Miss Scarlet said...

Everytime you mention one of them dating I think, "THEY'RE 13!" and can't believe I thought that was plausible when I was younger. Sure 13 year olds have boyfriends and girlfriends but not how they are in BSC. So weird.

Library Lady said...

Too good.

Taking a minute to Kristy-bash again, if she was my friend, she wouldn't be my friend.

Side note: I watched "Camp" maybe four or five years ago... Still confused. How do people get money to make these movies? Seriously...

PoBaL said...

Don't you mean "lak munstarrr"?

As I said when I sat reading this on your couch, doesn't this take place after the Stranded on an Island superspecial? And no one brings up that the last time this crew took a bunch of kids in a boat to a relatively unexplored island they got stuck there and a toddler got pneumonia!?

Kate said...

Tiff! I just discovered this and I've read the whole blog already. LOVE IT -- it's really, REALLY funny stuff.

Seriously, Ann M. Martin really does hate Mallory. She's ugly and nothing good ever happens to her.

lizzy said...

love this blog! ...but where's the description of claudia's outfit?

Sara said...

Dude, Boo-Boo is still alive? Damn, I thought he'd have croaked a long time ago.

And 2nd to lizzy -- where's Awesome 80s Outfit Theater? Don't tell me Claudia didn't bring accessories to the lake!

rachel said...

how did i manage to miss this super special? i'm in shock.

kristen said...

So to be honest, I can't remember if I read this one or not. Dawn's plotline sounds weirdly familiar. But I might be getting it mixed up with the Sleepover Friends, my other favorite childhood series. In the SF book where they went to a lake, there's a scene where they eat cream cheese and jelly sandwiches, and then the SF version of Stacey (you know, "sophisticated") stands up and goes "let's walk down to the lake before this cream cheese settles on my hips." I'm pretty sure the Sleepover Friends were in FIFTH GRADE. Even as a kid when I read that, I was like, ew, who says that when they're 10? Forget ANM - Susan Saunders might need a little schooling of her own.

Lindsay said...

It's AMM. Ann M. Martin. Ann Matthews Martin. Not ANM.

Hannah F. said...

Seriously. Hannie? I've always wondered.

I'm a Hannah, and if someone were to call me Hannie, blood would be shed.

Also: Tiff, you rock!

Anonymous said...

omg get over the books sweetie!
this is one of my fav spr specials...
oh tif, how old are you?
love the books

paige said...

To Kristen:

OMG! I used to read Sleepover Friends and I totally remember that line about the cream cheese and the hips! Wow, nostalgia!

Anyway, to keep on topic for this blog...I totally dont remember reading this super special at all...

Samantha said...

Am I the only one who acted pretty old when I was 13? I had my first serious relationship at that point and was even starting to delve into oral sex (you know.. just a little). I thought at that point that Ann M. Martin didn't give 13 year olds enough credit. Plus, I dated a 16 year old, who eventually had a problem with me being 13, but not at first. *Shrug* Then again, I went to college in Boston where I found most girls had normal childhoods. We did things differently in Pennsylvania. But I digress... I've been reading all your reviews and they're hilarious.

Janet said...

Does anyone remember the part where Karen gets the idea to douse herself in perfume and get all glammed up with her friends? And then the others notice how bad they smell, and they end up sitting at a table by themselves. Oh, Karen!

Also...for some reason, I really don't like Nicky Pike.

Anonymous said...

It makes no sense why Kristy made her friends write up about how great S.L. is. I mean really, does it matter what her friends think about the lake?

I don't understand why these girls are always being told to write journals for when they go on a vacation; I mean really. And why they still baby-sit while on vacation.

Anonymous said...

Wasn't Sleepover Friend's "sophisticated one named Stephanie, not Stacey? Alls I remember is she was all about the red/white/black combo.

Jackie said...

I was 13 when I started dating my first bf, who was 15.. of course that lasted for all of a month and a half, and I was younger than but of the same intellectual fiber as the other girls in my grade, but still. But then again, my current bf of 3 years is 3 years older than me.

metamorphstorm said...

This comment isn't actually related to this Super Special, but I looked for your review of "Starring the Baby-sitters Club" and didn't see it, so since I know you hate Karen Brewer as much as I do, I wanted to share something with you now that I have my big old box of BSC books back...

In the book, the high/middle/elementary schools of Stoneybrook are putting on Peter Pan, and naturally everyone in the BSC is involved somehow. The director, Mr. Cheney (page 40 for anyone with this book!) is telling a group of kids what to do when Karen Brewer interrupts him to ask about Tinker Bell.

- "What about her?" asked Mr. Cheney.

- "I want to be her."

- "But Tinker Bell isn't a character. We simulate her...I mean, we, um, we'll just make...fairy sounds to show that Tink is around."

- (italics) "But I want to be Tink!" (non-italics) "I WANT TO WEAR A FAIRY PRINCESS COSTUME!" (italics again) "I WANT TO--"

And on page 169, Karen marches crossly off the stage (yes, they created the Tinker Bell role just for her bratty arse) and demands not only flashing lights and "tinkling sounds" but also, her own lines. Yes, in capitals, like a Jenny Prezzioso tantrum.

Seriously, how does Karen Brewer have ANY fans?

Sorry to kinda spam the review section with this, but seriously, if you (the blogger, the readers here...) hate Karen Brewer, you HAVE to read Starring the Baby-sitters Club. Tiff, you should review it. I'd LOVE to see your sarcastic spin on the whole ridiculous story! Jessi's positive she'll get the starring role but doesn't and spends 95% of the book in a horrendous mood. The fights and misunderstandings in this book are so farfetched, anyone who enjoys a BSC rant should read the book. :D

astrodominie said...

Rereading this for the 50th time and this still makes me LOL:

Emily Michelle: is a baby. She has no plotline, silly.

Also Carol, the thirty-year-old secretary.