Thursday, June 29, 2006

He’s sure our granddaughter will be a farmer’s wife someday; or, BSC Mystery #5: Mary Anne and the Secret of Attic

Okay, so I know I’m avoiding, in general, anything other than the regular BSC books and Super Specials, but after all the talk about Mary Anne’s mom, I decided to bend my rules a little and pick up this “mystery,” which really isn’t a mystery so much as Miss Mary Jane angsting about some letters rather than talk to her father about what she found. And it’s not like she does any digging or sleuthing or anything. She just waits for stuff to happen. What happened to the new more forceful M-A at the end of saving the day? Oh, yeah. She pussed out again.

So, yeah. In this book, Stoneybrook’s gone Heritage Day cray-zay! So, all the elementary school kids are working on history projects about the town and family trees and stuff like that. Which makes poor, motherless Mary Anne feel all left out. She can’t figure out her place in the world, cause she only has her dad and step family. So, she decides to look in the attic for family pictures. In the few albums she finds, she sees pictures of her as a baby with people she doesn’t recognize (cause that never happens to people with moms. Seriously, I don’t know half the people in my baby pictures); oh, I forgot, she’s also been having recurring dreams where she’s a little girl who’s lost and confused in a strange place with a kitten, and she keeps calling “Mama!” Then, she finds letters from her grandparents, Verna and Bill Baker in Iowa, that indicate she lived with them for some time after her mom died, and that they fought when her dad wanted her back. AND she overhears Verna calling to say Bill died and she wants MA to come to Iowa before it’s too late. So, in true BSC style, she moons about it for days and freaks out when a woman comes to the house (MA thinks she’s a social worker, but she’s a census taker, apparently) AND NEVER TALKS TO HER FATHER ABOUT IT. Because heaven forbid she actually takes action. Well, turns out grannie just wants MA to visit, and Dad just lost it when Alma died, so he sent girlie to Iowa, and they didn’t want to give her back, but then they agreed that MA would be better off with Daddy, and that it would be too difficult to see her because she’s too much like her dead mom. Convoluted? Yep. So, in the end, MA goes to visit Grannie on the farm. And goes on a date with a farm boy. And decides she likes civilization, a.k.a. Connecticut. And wants nothing to do with farm boys. But she likes her grandma. Ah, happy ending.

Claudia’s outfit of the week: an example of her being a “really sophisticated dresser.” Here we go: “a lacy white top over a solid white bodysuit [how can you tell it’s a bodysuit?], a black mini skirt with white polka dots on it, lacy white leggings [which you can currently get at your local Urban Outfitters], and red high-tops. Plus some really outrageous black-and-white jewelry (earrings and bracelets and necklaces) that she’d made herself out of papier mache.” Speaking of papier mache, there are a whole bunch of really insane p.m. sculptures all over my library, including a dinosaur/lizard type thing eating some sort of furry animal. It’s pretty rad. Oh, and did you know that “Stacey doesn’t exactly look like the stereotypical idea of a math whiz, however. She doesn’t have slicked-back hair, and she doesn’t wear black-framed glasses or carry pens and a slide rule in her pocket.” So, she’s not one of the guys in Revenge of the Nerds.

And my fave ridiculous overstatement of the book: “It’s lucky Watson is a millionaire (really, he is) and owns a mansion. That family just wouldn’t fit in any regular house.” But, if I’m not mistaken at it’s largest (i.e. when Karen and Andrew are there), it’s THE SAMING FUCKING SIZE AS THE PIKE HOUSEHOLD! Sure, fewer pets, but more, um, CHILDREN. FULL-TIME. Oh, and they always talk about how Dawn’s house was built in the 1790s, and built for shorter people. But they weren’t midgets, and I lived in a house build around 1800, and it had really high ceilings, so shut up about the historically short people, please. Especially since Mary Anne’s supposed to be “smaller” than the others.

And there’s this hilarious thing about Logan with his shirt off. Happy dreams of Logan’s chestal region, girls and boys.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would be lost in a week without a new addition from you. I love this site.

Anonymous said...

Hey does anyone remember the "Little Sister" books, about Christy's dorky little sister? They were "easier" to read. Anyways, they haven't stood the test of timebecause they are being given away for free at my library.
Loved this post. Keep them coming. You're awesome. :)
-S.

Anonymous said...

OOPS. I mispelled Kristy. what kind of fan am I?

Library Lady said...

I'm embarassed to admit Claudia's outfit actually sounds half decent...

Also, I think ANM should come out with a "Mary Anne's Story" and dish on how her mom didn't actually die, but was in fact the Stoneybrook crack ho, and now she's in rehab... You know, shake it up a bit.

cara said...

I bet that bodysuit totally had snaps at the crotch, too.

Steffi said...

i don't know why this wasn't just a regular series book, because it didn't strike me as being a "mystery."

what i didn't get was why Mary Anne didn't - gasp! - talk to her father from the very beginning. hell, if she was really that uncomfortable with the concept, she could have had Kristy ask her mother or had Claudia ask her parents. but nooooooooo, she had to work out the worst case scenario and go all OMGI'MGOINGTOBETAKENAWAYBOOOOHOOOOO.

i never did understand the phobia in the BSC series about talking to one's parents.

Sara said...

Oooof, red high tops?? I had those. I think I wore them with a yellow jacket. *shudder*

And did we ever find out what Watson actually did to be a millionaire? Guesses, anybody?

I'm thinking a corporate schill of some sort...

Library Lady said...

Pimp.

Anonymous said...

He was in the insurance business, they talk about it in Kristy and Mr. Mom, when Watson starts working from home. The fact that I can remember that, and not things like calculus, is somewhat worrisome to me...

Suzanne said...

Ok, so I picked up 4 of the mysteries a few months ago and finally picked them up to look at yesterday. #5 was the one I actually started looking at and was thinking about this morning as I eagerly awaited your next entry... so weird. :-P

I don't have the motivation to read through the whole book. More power to you!

Oh, and my real favorite is number #12, or whichever one is about the Ghost Surfer or Thrash or whatever. Because nearly dating 25-30 years olds is SOOO cool when you're 13...

Suzanne said...

Oops. My RSS thing is out of whack. This is super old. Never mind. :-P (Off to read the actual new one).

Kylie said...

Has anyone noticed that in the original printing of #4 MA to the rescue or saves the day (I think both titles have been used) MAs mom was called Abigail and came from Maryland

Melissa said...

Maybe Watson was a FBI agent where if he mentioned what he did for a living he'd kill you, or mob boss, I can see Kristy being a mob bosses daughter lolshe can be one of the it men.

Also do yyou all think she's a litle too mean to Alan Gray? I'm so if any of the bsc members told one of those jokes she'd laugh, like Abby she tells about the same kind of bad jokes and Kristy doesn't get all pod at her.

Ahh young love

Julie F said...

@Kylie, yes! Those continuity errors used to get on my
nerves so much!!