Technically, isn’t it Elizabeth’s big day? After all, she’s the one getting hitched.
Surprisingly, I found myself saying, or, um, screaming, “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” more with this book than a lot of them…Now, most of the BSC books contain at least one ridiculous moment. And I remembered this one being pretty normal…This is not the case though. Apparently I never questioned even the basic premise of this book. But I should have. For your consideration:
"I’m saying that Watson and I are going to have to get married at the end of the month so we can move into the Brewers’ house two weeks later." Let’s take a moment to consider this. Kristy’s mom will be on a business trip in Europe when they had wanted to get married (funny, she never takes that trip to Europe. Or at least never mentions it again.), so she and Watson have to change the date. And she found a buyer for the house who wants a rush job. (Okay, having moved a lot growing up, even with rushing things, it’s not easy to complete a sale and escrow that fast. And, apparently, Kristy’s dad still owns half the house, so they’re completely ignoring the fact that they’ll have to contact him and get him to sign everything.) Okay, I could buy all that. But what really bothered me was the fact that they had to GET MARRIED BEFORE MOVING IN TOGETHER! Even if they were religious (which they don’t seem particularly devout), I’m sure that they wouldn’t be run out of town for moving in together before getting married. I mean, neither of them are virgins, and they’re both divorced. And he’s got a fucking mansion! If propriety required them to have separate rooms, it wouldn’t be a problem. And they could get married soon, but they could give themselves more than two and a half weeks to plan a BIG wedding, and focus on moving with minimum stress. OR, if they really had to get married before moving in together, have a tiny ceremony quickly and then have a big reception once they’re all settled in. Cause it’s not particularly cool to your friends and family to give them two weeks notice to come to a wedding. LAME!
"Would you really hire the whole Baby-sitters Club for the whole week?" So, in order to pull of the wedding, a whole bunch of friends and families are coming early to help. And since this is the BSC, they’re all breeders who have never heard of a diaphragm, there will be 14 extra brats running around Stoneybrook. So, to free up the adults, the BSC are going to run a sort of daycare for all the kids, keeping them from 9-5. And they’re only getting $120 each for the week. They all act like that’s a fortune, and I realize this was a few years back, but that’s not a lot for caring for that many kids ALL DAY LONG. (Sam even thinks it’s a lot of money, so he’s jealous. But he has a summer job; for the second summer in a row, he’ll be delivering groceries for the A&P. But ANM never explains how someone too young to drive can deliver groceries in a town that’s apparently big enough for two middle schools.) So, they take care of all these kids with relatively few problems.
KRISTY IS EXCITED ABOUT WEARING A DRESS AND HEELS. ‘nuff said.
"My brothers and I would be on own for a week!" Yep. After the wedding, Watson and Elizabeth go to Vermont for their honeymoon (cause they couldn’t afford anywhere else?) and they leave Charlie, Sam, Kristy and David Michael at home. Alone. Nannie’s “on call,” but she’s not there. The fuck? Sure, maybe Charlie and Sam. But a 17-year-old who just got his driver’s license in charge of a 15-year-old, a 13-year-old and a 7-year-old. Are they high?
Claudia’s classy outfit of the week: “a black leotard and skintight red pants [there are three girls at Ridgemont cultivating the Pat Benetar look] under a white shirt that was so big it looked like a lab coat. Claudia’s a wonderful artist and she had decorated the shirt herself, covering it with designs painted in acrylic.”
Oh, and Stacey? “Stacey’s blonde hair was permed, and what with that, her purple nail polish, and her Swatch accessories, she looked, well, kind of like a thirteen-year-old Madonna.” My ass, that just described a fucking mallrat, not Madonna.