Wednesday, August 09, 2006

I bet her real name is Mobobwee or something; or, BSC #14: Hello, Mallory

Um, doesn’t Mal have red hair? I swear on every cover and in every description, she has red hair. Right? Then how come “every single one of us Pikes, even my parents, has dark brown hair (Mom calls it ‘chestnut brown’ to make it seem les ordinary)?” Huh? My very belief system is shaken.

Oh, and Mal? Stop your bitching about your glasses and your braces. Get over it. Lots of people wear glasses, and even more have braces for a while.

So, in this book, Mal whines and the BSC ride out some ego trips. Oh, and Jessi shows up.

So, the BSC has invited Mal to join, but first she has to pass some tests (oral, drawn and practical). So for the oral/written test, the BSC ask these ridiculous questions that they don’t even know the answers to, and they make Mal draw a diagram of the digestive system (yeah, a sixth-grader). And then Mal totally fucks up the sitting part of the audition, mainly cause she’s nervous and Claudia’s kinda being a bitch. So, blah she fails and quits at the same time. So she and Jessi decide to start their own BSC, called Kids Incorporated (at which point the Disney lawyers are all “CEASE AND DESIST!!!!). But the stars align and the BSC get over themselves incorporate (heh, get it!) Kids Inc, into their little club.

Okay, so this is one of Ms. Martin’s attempts at social responsibility, so all of the racists are really fucking OBVIOUS. Which is boring. Seriously. Plus this is like the only book in which Jessi’s trying to be a comedienne.

Your “Thank you Captain Obvious” moment of the book comes on page 66.

Mallory: There are a lot of things I do well, and one of them is mope.

Outfit time!

Mallory: “I finally decided on my red jumper that said Mallory across the front, a short-sleeved white blouse, and white tights with little red hearts all over them.” [Now that’s dressing for success. Or kindergarten, take you pick.]

Kristy: “She was wearing faded jeans, sneakers, a pale pink turtleneck, and a dark pink sweater.” [I have always doubted that Kristy would ever wear pink.]

Mary Anne: “…she was wearing a baggy yellow sweater with a SILVER SQUIGGLE PIN [!!!!!!!!] near the collar, a short skirt made out of sweat-shirt material, yellow tights, and ballet slippers.”

Dawn: “She wears kind of casual clothes, like baggy jeans with the cuffs rolled up, shirts with the tails out, and big belts.”

Claudia: “[She wears] things like short, tight pants with little ballet slippers, or torn T-shirts decorated with sequins, or overalls and high-topped sneakers. And her jewelry! She has a bracelet that looks like a coiled snake, and earrings that are a dog for one ear and a bone for the other, and I don’t know what else.”

***

YIPPEE!! So, I checked out the “Books for a dollar” shelf at the library tonight, and I bought the FIRST THREE SUPER SPECIALS!!!! And Dawn on the Coast! Yay!

21 comments:

The RA said...

I was thinking in the shower today: just how big is Claudia's closet? How many pairs of different colored hightops does she have? And her sock drawer must be stuffed!

Sara said...

Holy crap, do I ever remember Mallory's "tryout" outfit. Those heart-covered white tights are just killing me. I am trying to remember what the most socially awkward 6th grader I knew ever wore in school....and all I'm coming up with is pigtails, coke-bottle glasses, and some unfortunate turtleneck-tucked-into-jeans combination.

I recall from this book that when Mallory and Jessi met, they were sitting under the same tree, and Mallory saw a "brown hand" (I shit you not!!) in the pebbles, so she decides to touch it. They both freak out, and voila! Instant harmony.

In other news, I am hopelessly addicted to this blog.

Anonymous said...

what disturbs me most from babysitters club books is that Ann Martin obviously believes that colour coordination equals fashionable or at least an acceptable outfit. I know have in my mind this image of ann martin walking around in all red or blue... eek..

also, was mallory wearing pants or skirt with that outfit? or just tights.. lol

Anonymous said...

I had a dream last night about the BSC.. In my dream Kristy was talking about all the cool phrases that Stacy uses (and Stacy looked really ugly in my dream)...meanwhile Jesse was singing her head off in the background. What does it all mean? Nothing really...just that I've been reliving my pre-teen years through your blog and it's gotten back into my subconcious. Love the blog--it's hilarious!

KO said...

oh, man, I forgot how in the first, like, 20 books the same descriptive details are mentioned over and over - I definitely remember reading about Claudia's snake bracelet and mismatched earrings over and over.

And I am totally thrilled that you've got the first 3 super specials - those were amongst my favorites from the series.

Anonymous said...

aaaaaaaah this is the life! i pulled some ding-dongs from underneath my mattress to enjoy while reading...

Anonymous said...

"also, was mallory wearing pants or skirt with that outfit? or just tights.. lol"

You must be thinking of the British meaning of jumper which if I'm remembering correctly is a sweater...so yeah, that would be pretty weird if she wasn't wearing a skirt with that (but then Claudia would totally do that). In the US a jumper is a dress with no sleaves that's meant to be worn over a blouse or shirt or whatever, kind of like overalls. Not worn by anyone past like, first grade.

Katie said...

I would love to see you do "Mallory Pike #1 fan". She was such an obnoxious brat in that one.

Katie said...

oh and for some reason in every Mallory book after this she says something about being the only Pike with red in her hair.

Dawn said...

I loved that one!! I found your blog the other night while searching for BSC books and i stayed up all night reading it!! You are awesome, keep it up. you give a bored stay at home wife something to look foward too!

Annie said...

Who ever knew that being able to draw the digestive system (or divestive, if you're Claudia) is what makes someone a good babysitter? Gotta love that Kristy logic...

Preetadelic said...

Ohh!!! I'm excited for you to do teh Super Specials!! My favorite one is teh one where they all go to camp and Mary Anne trys to go to teh boy's side at night! And she thinks she is going to be attacked by a bear or something so she's yelling out "stay away I have a gun" or something to her would-be rescuers!

loves it! Keep up the good work!

Rachel said...

How does Kristy NOT die from heat exhaustion from wearing a frickin turtleneck and sweater every day?

Liss said...

Aaghh!! Mallory's outfit was kinda scary. I remember reading that book when I was 10 and thinking, "Hell I wouldn't be caught dead wearing that!" I couldn't understand how an 11 year old could wear that. I think it was the heart patterned tights that disturbed me the most :s

The first story we hear from Mallory Pike, the budding writer - "Rainy Days and Froggy Nights"... hmm.
Also the v v amusing part when Mallory said they could talk about boys and Jessi goes "Ew boys!" Even though I didn't get my first boyfriend 'til I was 15, I never would have said "Ew boys!" at the age of 11 :p

But what tops it all is that test that the BSC concocted for Mallory - were they high whilst making that test?? - "What's the difference between creeping and crawling?"... blimey :s

Anonymous said...

do goodbye, stacey, goodbye
that has some really lame mallory bits in it

BurtonFanatic said...

Dawn: “She wears kind of casual clothes, like baggy jeans with the cuffs rolled up, shirts with the tails out, and big belts.”
That would actually be an okay outfit now, if the pants were tight instead of baggy.
I remember this one. Wasn't one of the questions: What's the difference between creeping and crawling or something like that?
Bitches.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you didn't include Mal's top that says "I'd rather be writing my novel" in this snark.

candice said...

um, no red-headed girl would have a red jumper. BUT SINCE SHE HAS BROWN HAIR IN THIS BOOK IT'S COOL.

charmecia said...

i just realized something
jessi said she never recieved anything from the welcome wagon
due to her color
yet i recieved tons of stuff from the welcome wagon
and im black myself
lol
(i didnt even know they exist)
that definitely tells you something right there
did i also mentioned that mallory's tryout outfit was hillari0ous
so yeah

Aimee Stewart said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Okay, what the FUCK is a "silver squiggle pin"??? It's brought up several times in different books. Was this actually a trend of some kind? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?