Wednesday, September 06, 2006

He’s a real conservative type. Tortoise-shell glasses, you know what I mean; or, BSC #23: Dawn on the Coast

The short and sweet version of the plot: Dawn spends her two-week spring break (bitches! We got a week in February and a week in April, but we never got two straight weeks off!) visiting her Dad and Jeff in California. She’s so glad to be back, where everyone is blonde, the sun always shines, and everyone eats health food. So, she entertains notions of moving back, only to decide to return to the BSC. Now, for the fun stuff.


  • This book apparently takes places “about a year and half” Dawn showed up in Stoneybrook. Gotta love the magical passing of non-passing time.


  • “You can always count on Claudia to be wearing some really unusual outfit, like a white jumpsuit with a wide purple belt and purple high-top sneakers.” So, now Claud’s a gay housepainter. Unusual!


  • And this is before it was decreed from Martin-on-High that Richard and Sharon were going to get married, as one of the major reasons Dawn decides not stay in Cali is because she doesn’t want her mom to marry the Trip-Man.


  • Some of the odd things I remember from these books: all the girls yelling “No anchovies!” when ordering a pizza at Dawn’s going away slumber party; Dawn’s description of her stewardess (flight attendant, dammit!) as a Kewpie doll, and me having no clue what that was. But this is what it is:





  • Yeah, Dawn lives in Anaheim. You got a problem with her being all O.C.? Cause from now on, I’m totally picturing her as Mischa Barton with a bad bleach job. Palo City my ass.


  • Did you ever wonder why the We <3 Kids Club even bothered?


  • ”I loved the way everything in California was so easy, so free.” Has Ms. Martin ever been to Southern California? Dawn’s not from Haight Ashbury, she’s from Anaheim. Apparently, Dawn has no concept of traffic or pollution or plastic surgery or starving television stars (which did exist in the 80s, thank you Tracey Gold!). Whatever, Dawn. You and all your Cali friends look alike and like the same things and are boring me senseless.


  • I doubt that a six year old will really remember much about someone who last sat for her A YEAR AND A HALF AGO. Stupid hippie children.


  • God, even in a book that takes places on the opposite coast (aside from which, um CONNECTICUT IS ALSO THE COAST! Sure, not much by way of beaches, but it’s on the farking ocean!), we still have to suffer Karen going on about Ben Brewer haunting the third floor. Shut up, Karen.


  • Oh, yeah, the We <3 Kids Club is actually working on something cool, healthy recipes that kids can make, and Dawn turns it into “See how different it is! Healthy!”


  • Also, it cracks me up when “healthy” foods are actually “gourmet” foods. For example, Mrs. Bruen makes fish fillets baked with tomatoes and covered with cheese sauce. While not fried fast food, the dish is still covered in cheese sauce and therefore not particularly healthy. Also, it’s nothing like the barley casseroles or nut loaves or whatever Dawn normally considers health food.


  • I sincerely doubt that Dawn and her brother get along so well all the time.


  • Dawn doesn’t have Mary Anne’s number memorized. Now, I currently don’t have my best friend’s number memorized, but that’s because I only have a celly, and she’s on speed dial. However, up until I got a cell with speed dial/stopped using a land line for long distance, I had it down. And I really have a hard time believing that every time Dawn wants to call MA, she goes to her address book and looks at the first name listed under S.


  • Dawn thinks that the BSC looks like an ad for the U.N., cause it’s so diverse. I had to fight not to cross out U.N. and write Benetton in my book.


In addition to a lot of cheesiness, this book also features the best foreshadowing ever: Dawn’s dad suggests that she bring the BSC next time she visits—“The Baby-sitters Club in California? It was a great idea.”

And…scene.

16 comments:

Library Lady said...

May I be the first to tell you I love the new daisy bullets. Is this a new addition, or have I been blind to them before? Claud would be proud of your 'accessorizing'.

Erin said...

These seriously crack me up! I used to spend all of my allowance money on BSC books. Wow were they bad... but somehow I'm sort of tempted to go find one to read again.

Susan said...

OMG I love this blog!!!!!! I've just spent the past six months reliving BSC with my best friend from high school - she's bought a bunch of them off eBay even. I will be checking this blog all the time now. Thanks, dude!!! =)

Dawn said...

brilliant...simply brilliant.....I always thought Dawn's realtionship with her brother was a bit unhealthy. I mean, come on. How many other thirteen year old girls so you know of that get along that well with their ten year old brothers. I was thirteen when my brother was ten and I wanted to kill him most of the time....

Anonymous said...

Oooh, I saw a new version of the BSC books today. They were all cartoon characters, the first thing I thought of was this blog. I so have to get a picture of them.

PoBaL said...

Dude, I STILL have some of those numbers of jr high friends memorized.

Colleen said...

I've never heard of a school in CT where you got two straight weeks off, and that's where I grew up!

Also, I hate Dawn. More than I hate Mallory. She just gets me sooooo annoyed.

Egbert said...

Was the cover of Dawn in a bikini (!), being splashed by water? And did the 'bikini' have a high neck?

Anonymous said...

Tiff--do you read the entire book every time or do you skip that part in every book where we learn how the club works?

Joanna said...

So, now Claud’s a gay housepainter.

Thanks, I almost snorted coffee on my keyboard...

Re: Kewpie doll - I didn't know what that was, either. That was before us. I get the feeling that ANM gets her generations confused sometimes :-0

Anonymous said...

GOD I hate Karen! And the California books. - Thanks for updating - I've been checking all the time.

Allison said...

The kewpie doll confused the hell out of me back in the day, and whenever I see the name now I think of this damn book.

Eponina said...

Actaully, CT isn't on the ocean . . .we're on the LI Sound, which is totally different *rolls eyes*

Krista said...

I also remembered the Kewpie doll statement as totally odd and I'm glad you posted the picture. So weird...

Rebecca J. said...

I actually had a Kewpie doll and knew what she was referring too, but I still didn't understand the look she was trying to describe. I always pictured a lady with frizzy red hair made up like Tammie Faye.

steffstuff1914 said...

Thank you thank you for posting what a kewpie doll looks like!! Ever since my 10-year-old brain read that description i've always wondered and have never been able to find it!

Tiff, I too am re-reading the BSC from start to finish as an adult. And i'm loving reading your blog. Everything you've said has come out of my mouth at one point! Keep it up, please!!