Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The bracelet on my wrist felt as heavy as an iron chain; or, BSC #41: Mary Anne vs. Logan

So, this cover:



What do I see? I see two high school sweethearts meeting up when they come home for the holidays after their first semester of college. And they’re all, “It’s soooo good to see you! How have you been these past few months?” “I’m good. I’ve missed you! So, how’s the new boyfriend?” “He’s good…how’s you’re new boyfriend? Have you come out to your parents yet?” “Yeah, they’ve been really supportive. And so have you…”

Whoa. (Record scratching sound.) Got lost there in the moment. Yeah, this cover doesn’t look like an unhappy 13-year-old couple. Nope.

So, this is yet another of the “Mary Anne grows a pair” books. See, Logan’s all clingy and take-advantagey and Mary Anne finally realizes that she’s being smothered…Logan always wants to do stuff together, and he gives her presents (shut up, I know that’s what most women want, but give the girl a break! She’s 13, she doesn’t want a hubbie quite yet!) and calls her while she’s sitting! [My theory: Logan totally wants to be the first kid in their class to a) get laid, or b) get a blow job, or c) get a hand job. Why else would a 13-year-old boy be so lovey and gifty. For chrissake, he wants to spend all his time with “his girl,” instead of playing Nintendo with his friend…Seriously?]

So, Mary Anne tells him that she needs a break. Then, after their break, Logan’s all “It’s ON!” And everything’s exactly as it was, so MARY ANNE DUMPS HIS ASS!

Oh, and the Prezzioso family gets a new addition in the form of Andrea. And Jenny’s all upset and jealous until literally the moment the new baby comes home.

But on to the fun stuff!

“A typical Claudia outfit might be black leggings, a baggy black-and-white shirtdress, low black shoes, and big wild earrings for her pierced ears.”

“Stacey also wears super-trendy clothes—layers on layers, hats, pins, cowboy boots, that short of thing. Plus she’s allowed to have her blonde hair permed and she likes to wear nail polish, usually with sparkles in it.” [I just don’t get how sparkly nail polish IN THE 80s, was the height of sophistication…]

“She was looking especially acute that day. (Acute means cool…) Claud was wearing an oversized raspberry-colored shirt, a short black skirt, and black leggings (the layered look) [no, the layered look is five pairs of scrunchy socks]. On her feet were black cowboy boots, and dangling from an earcuff was a huge collection of beads and stones.”

“Compared to Claudia, I looked like a complete nerd, even though I was wearing one of my better outfits: blue print pants that were wide on top but narrowed to cuffs at the ankles [It’s called “pegged” M.A.], and a short-cropped t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up and this acute [angle? accent?] picture of a cactus wearing a cowboy boot.”

Oh, who are the Ohdners?

So, Mary Anne is all about Wuthering Heights in this book, and I went out and got it because of this book, and I still have never managed to read the whole damn thing…Stupid ANM!

Aww…Logan gets choked up when he gets dumped.

And I’m sure there’s more, but I can’t think of anything, and my cat won’t shut up…

Oh, I’m not sure if I’ll have an entry next week…I’m going conferencing for work, so I don’t know how much time I’ll have to work on the blogging…

31 comments:

Sara said...

The word ACUTE will never be used to describe something as cool. No. Not gonna happen.

It's like using obtuse to describe something as fat.

*head explodes*

Rach said...

Q - since logans arse was royally dumped - did Cokie ever make a move?

royal highness of all BSC knowlingly things??

I reckon she should have - otherwise why go to all the trouble of making a cursed necklace and being a bitch if you werent going to jump his bones the second he became available.

Anonymous said...

My theory is that he's overdoing it on the 'girlfriend' thing to cover up his secret love for boys.
He's in denial, and so he's trying to like, compensate and convince himself that he does indeed like MaryAnne. And when she breaks up with him, he's lost both his cover, and someone who is pretty much his best friend...

sandy said...

I think I saw that first Claudia outfit in a magazine recently....

Tenacious said...

Isn't a cropped shirt basically a belly top? I mean I have a "crop" top and that shit stops basically under my non existent breasts or is "cropped" an 80s word gone wrong in the 2000s?

ah I'm always amused by Claud's and Stace's outfits...Cowboy boots huh? With leggings? Yeah I would be sooo jealous of the way they dressed.

LOL @ Logan...I had the feeling that Mary Ann would be the first to give it up since it was always mentioned that she was the 1st to have a boyfriend...

And I've noticed in other books Mary Ann comes off as a crybaby wimp but in her books she sounds a little....bitchy dare I say? Or am I thinking of the book when she and Dawn was at war shortly after their parents' wedding? She was extremely un Mary Ann like

Anonymous said...

Is this the book where Logan cookes MA Valentine's dinner and gives her jewelry and flowers and candy, and has his family stay away so they can have privacy? And he gets all dressed up for this, which is a big surprise for her? I'm pretty sure most 13 year old boys don't spend so much time planning 'romantic' dates like that.

Anonymous said...

A cactus with a cowboy boot...right...

Anonymous said...

Rach - Cokie did make a move, right before Mary Anne and Logan get back together a few books after this. She and Logan go to all kinds of movies and school sports games. Hmmm...makes you wonder if Mary Anne really wanted Logan back, or just didn't want Cokie to have him.

Anonymous said...

did anyone else love the part where they're at a meeting and mary anne is like "wtf is that?" pointing to a brown stain on claudia's bed. turns out it was chocolate (well thank god.), but i always found that really weird and random and hilarious.

the cropped shirt sounds very OOC for MA, makes me think her midriff is showing. and the sleeves are rolled up, it's february in the book. cover up mary anne!

Colleen said...

Claudia's outfits sound an awful lot like some of the things I've seen girls wearing around lately...

and I love your take on the cover...nailed it to the t!

Anonymous said...

Conferencing, schmonferencing...Please don't make me mainline the archives...it's just not enough anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rebecca said...

This book was a classic- my sister and I still laugh about how Mary-Ann felt they needed to "cool" their relationship- because it was SOOOOOOO hot and heavy!!! Maybe old Logan WAS angling for the BJ!

Anonymous said...

It's terrifying how much I remember about this book--including the scary brown stain!
And a cactus with a cowboy hat. Yeesh. What'd she do, steal it from a babysittee?

Clare said...

Ah, yet another instance of ANM seeing if she can exact the same power over the vocabulary of 13-year-old girls as she did over their wardrobes...

I can't decide if "acute" is a better or worse synonym for cool than "dibble"...I think they're both equally horrifying.

Tiff said...

Whenever I read ANM's made-up slang, I just think, "Fetch is never going to happen!"

Joanna said...

I love how they're always pairing humongous shirts with tiny, short skirts...I have this mental image of them going around, looking like they forgot to put pants on that morning...

And, I also love how they always make a special effort to point out the girls have earrings for their PIERCED ears...I mean, come on! People get their BABIES' ears pierced. I can understand the the girls' being envious of Dawn, with her second piercing, or something...but of one hole per ear??

Anonymous said...

^ Yeah, I never saw having pierced ears as a big deal... it was like tradition in our family that when you turned 7, you got your ears pierced. I never understood why the BSC (and Full House - remember when Stephanie pierced her own ears?) always made such a BIG deal about it...

Clare said...

Pierced ears were totally a big deal to me at that age, mostly because my dad was strangely Mr. Spier-like about the whole thing and insisted that my sister and I were not allowed to get our ears pierced until we were 16. He finally caved under consistent pressure and let us do it at age 12...but yeah, I can understand why it was probably a big deal to Mary Anne.

Anonymous said...

I think "cropped" in late 80s and early 90s lingo refers to shirts that stop at the waist. I have visions of "cropped" sweaters that stop right at the top of pants. Can you see MaryAnne's dad letting her wear a shirt with her stomach hanging out?! I love the cover. It gave me such realistic expectations for what I would look like at 13!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Well, when I was about 7 years old i guess i was wearing stick on earrings quite a lot as was fashionable at the time... but the girls were 13, and i knew lots of my friends were getting their ears pierced around 7, or 8, or 9 or 10... I was 10 when I got mine done, and so I just sort of expected that people would get it done before 13.

Anonymous said...

[My theory: Logan totally wants to be the first kid in their class to a) get laid, or b) get a blow job, or c) get a hand job. Why else would a 13-year-old boy be so lovey and gifty. For chrissake, he wants to spend all his time with "his girl," instead of playing Nintendo with his friend…Seriously?]

In that case, he needs to let Mary Anne go, take a few sitting jobs, save the money, and hire a two-dollar hooker.

re cropped shirt: I agree with "anonymous". The only thing I can guess other than "midriff" is that the hem of the shirt falls just to the waistline as opposed to being long enough to tuck into pants or a skirt.

Anonymous said...

Re: Who are the Ohdners.

It's been awhile since I read Mary Anne and the Search for Tigger (or whatever it was called), but I *swear* when they did their big search party thing, Claud mentions that they looked over on Ohdner Rd but couldn't find him. Did the ghost writer stuff up again, or am I remembering wrong?

ane said...

i found your site through craftster and i'm in love. i was an acute reader of bsc (translated versions - those translations were pretty acute too) once upon a time... =)

cara said...

You know, I managed to forget about the existence of ear cuffs.

Until today.

Thanks, Tiff. Now I have to poke out my eyes.

Little Willow said...

Oh, a momentous book!

:)

I posted the BSC article - part one - last week at my blog. The part two will discuss reader responses, including yours.

Anonymous said...

what are ear cuffs?

Desci said...

The best book recap yet. Thanks! xo

Anonymous said...

Ear cuffs - Those were those things big in the 90's - They were like fake earrings for your cartilage, the top of your ear - just a round thing - like half an inch wide -

I'm laughing thinking about ear cuffs. I used to buy them all the time - to be edgy.

Anonymous said...

Getting my ears pierced was was a massive deal . . .my parents made me wait until I was 18, and stuck with it. I was uber jealous of Mal whose parents gave in wwhen the little bitch whined...

bazu said...

Oh god, the unthinkable has happened:

“A typical Claudia outfit might be black leggings, a baggy black-and-white shirtdress, low black shoes, and big wild earrings for her pierced ears.”

I'd actually wear this outfit. Send help!

metamorphstorm said...

I was one of those kids who made a big deal about pierced ears, too; I was insanely obsessed between the ages of 8-ish and about 20...my mom said I couldn't have it done until I was 16, though, so I filled the time buying pierced earrings and reading up on caring for piercings...when my brother and his wife thought I was 16 on my 15th birthday and said they were taking me to get it done, my mom let me! She says it was because I was so ready and prepared, and I think she felt a little bad that my brother and sister-in-law "messed up" my birthday again (forgetting my age, forgetting the day).

Mr. Ohdner was a BSC client who usually called to arrange jobs for his two daughters, and the BSC members always arranged him a sitter and yet never appear to go on these jobs or write about them in the notebook or discuss the kids' fears and issues like they do with all their other charges. I think the family was used mainly to fill space and act like three asterisks would in other stories, a time-filler, mention of clients, and a sort of page-break between scenes.

I actually really liked this book. Logan was such an arse, and Mary Anne not only realized this but finally did something about it. It shocked me the first time around, and then I decided it was awesome that Logan's possessive behavior finally came to something. Thanks for writing this blog; it's provided hours of entertainment for me!