Monday, January 29, 2007

...You’ll see it isn’t quite as ideal as it looks; or, BSC #35: Stacey and the Mystery of Stoneybrook

I think this book should really have been called “Stupid Bitches Are Friggin’ Desperate to be Nancy Fucking Drew.” At one point, they’re all supposed be “on the lookout” for clues about a mystery that may or may not exist. Dumbasses.

So, in this book, some old house is getting torn down and Charlotte’s staying with Stacey and her mom while the Johanssens go out of town for family stuff. There are mysterious occurrences when Stacey & Char visit the house, and Char gets tonsillitis again. I shit you not, this is the completely random nature of this book. It makes precious little sense. So, was the town really built on an ancient burial ground? Why does the house give them all nightmares? Who knows? I don’t think they solved that part. But anyway, they find out who owned the house (rant forthcoming) and go visit him in the nursing home, and he tells them a bunch of ghost stories…Finally the house comes down, Stacey hallucinates, all the mysterious things are explained away (Yay, science!) and it turns out owner guy died the night before. Ah, happy endings.

So, as befits the random nature of this book, I give you a random list…

  1. We get hit with Stacey’s “poor, divorced, divided me” on the first fucking page!

  2. What world does Stacey live in where hers in the only Dad that works on Saturdays? My dad always did (retail), but she grew up in New York, for fuck’s sake. Like Laine’s big-time producer dad works 9-5.

  3. Um, sweetie? Cinnamon does not always come sprinkled on cappuccino. Just sayin.’

  4. “I guess Logan must like Mary Anne for the same reasons all of us do: She’s understanding, a good listener, and really a lot of fun.” And she’s a pushover. And when she gets a spine, he gets all mad and distant. Cynical, cynical me.

  5. ”I couldn’t believe how fascinated everyone was with the “news” about some dumb old house. I guess that’s what happens when you live in Stoneybrook all your life. Anything seems exciting.” Condescending much, bitch?

  6. I know I feel presidential when wearing a visor.

  7. Oooh! Do you remember Colorforms? I fucking loved those as a kid! (And if I still had some, I’d probably still love them!)

  8. Isn’t Charlotte a little old for Raggedy Ann? I was into her before I started school. Exhibit A:
    (Me and my brother at a very young age dressed up as Raggedy Ann and Andy...definitely preschool age...)

  9. The house Stacey describes looks nothing like the house on the cover. A little cooperation, some communication might have helped that…Exhibit B:

  10. You know, I just can’t reiterate enough how fucking gullible these girls are…they are so willing to believe in ghostly happenings, it drives me nuts. I was like that when I was seven or eight, not 13!

  11. Oh, yeah…Charlotte is crazy excited cause she gets to go to a bunch of BSC meetings.

  12. Will no one shut Karen up? Her very fictional existence is sucking my soul out through my tear ducts.

  13. With all the stuff about burial grounds, I felt like I was reading this book in Spookyvision!

  14. Um, Stacey’s mom leaves Stacey to deal with Charlotte and the doctor. The fuck?

  15. OH MY FUCKING GOD! CLAUDIA ACTUALLY THINKS SHE MIGHT BECOME A LIBRARIAN LIKE HER MOM. I’m sorry Claudia. Though you could get into library school (they will let anyone in), you will not find a job. You have to be able to read and write. Sorry.

  16. None of the BSCers has ever taken kids to story time at the SPL? Seriously?

  17. Okay, Mrs. Kishi is the director of the library. I doubt she has tons of time to mingle with all the little kids.

  18. ”Liberrian.” Okay, sure, little kids. But there are people in library school who actually say this. No shit. My librarian posse can back me up on this one (btw, welcome Yogmas!)

  19. Claud gets embarrassed cause she doesn’t know her way around the library, despite director Mom. Seriously, she doesn’t know any of the reference librarians or anything? She asks a middle school page. For local history help. Gack! So many issues!

  20. Ah, pre-automation library…Thank Gebus for computers…

  21. Kristy calls an emergency meeting about the ghosty stuff. Why?

  22. I’m sure Mal can talk Stacey out of being jealous of 7 siblings.

  23. Seriously, Stace. You're seeing flames where there are none. Maybe you should get some help…or at least some Valium.

Wait, what’s that Stacey? You love what? “I had dressed for my train ride in a white jumpsuit, layered over a blue tank top. I had on white push-down socks with blue hearts all over them, a wide blue patent leather belt, and a wild necklace made of all kinds of plastic sea creatures in a rainbow of colors.” And she wears the jumpsuit again (with different shirt/accessories) the next day! Awesome!

Oh, I’ll probably be posting late next week; I’m going out of town this weekend (Look out D.C. Metro!), and while I will be watching the Super Bowl (and rooting for the Colts), I will not be reading any BSC books…So, apologies in advance…


Anonymous said...

Claudia, who spells apple a-p-e-l, is going to become a librarian? Yeah, that'll happen.

Margie said...

This book really bugged me if for no other reason than there was really no ending. They were like "omg haunted house" and then "oh wait, there were no flames and the guy dies" and... that's it. Come on, it should have been a little more exciting than THAT. I think the only "mystery" the BSC has ever solved that was actually sort of exciting was the one in super mystery 3, where Abby and that author lady have issues with the diamond.

And wtf is a jumpsuit anyway? If it's what I think it is, why would anyone wear a white one???

Anonymous said...

that's right, go colts!

Jo said...

Margie, I was just thinking the same thing! Tackiness aside, that white jumpsuit would get dirty awfully why on earth would someone choose to wear one on a TRAIN RIDE?? Seat's maybe dirty, lean against something, get jostled...and that thing's a mess. But, whatever :-/

Re: cover - I just love how on the covers of the "supernatural" books, the baby-sitters are always "shielding" the little Dawn did with Jeff on "The Mystery at Dawn's House." Because, yeah, okay...any supernatural force is gonna have to get through the BSC before touching any Stoneybrook kid!

Anonymous said...

I've always thought a jumpsuit was smething kind of like overalls without the buckles, and I remember my four-year-old sister wearing them when I was reading the books. Stacey seems to have them in every color, so whats the need to wear the white one twice in this book?

I never liked this book- I thought the charlotte-has-tonsilitis plot was more interesting. and doesn't tonsilitis mean you're supposed to get your tonsils out?

adri said...

It's really disturbing that Stacey just blithely accepts having had a hallucination and it doesn't bother her.

I think this is the book where Stacey talks about her "Fun-Filled, Action-Packed, All-Expenses-Paid Weekend in the Big Apple." To this day, I sometimes jokingly refer to things like weekend trips as "fun-filled and action-packed" because of this book, and then I feel very ashamed of myself because of it.

Margie said...

Tonsilitis doesn't always mean having your tonsils taken out... I think it's only if you get tonsilitis like once a year or something. Although i can say it's NOT pleasant-- I had it a couple months ago. BLECK.

Ashley said...

A late post next week? Nofe-air! :P

Anonymous said...

This is such an odd book. I remember random parts so vividly. I don't really like the part where Charlotte gets sick and she wakes up in bed with a fever or whatnot. It reminds me of doctor visits when I was little, ugh. I was uncomfortable when they visited the old man and they didn't know what to say and he was like a bunch of little girls visiting me, WTF? And I was also extremely bored when Charlotte's at the meeting and Mallory tells some dumb story about picking flowers to give her mother for Mother's Day? Am I correct? And she thought the flowers were possessed or something because she picked them near the Hennessey house? So incredibly dumb. If I was Charlotte and hearing that I would think Mallory was totally lame.

Oh, and the purple cropped jacket with fringe all up and down the sleeves? Gross.

veronica said...

I'm ashamed to admit it, but not only did I use to love this book, it actually scared me. In my defense, it was a long time ago...

Swanilda said...

I always wondered if this book was the inspiration for the Mystery series, because it just seemed...I don't know, out of place or something, and not at all in the same vein as the other books.

Jess said...

I totally wore a very similar Ragedy Ann outfit when I was 3 or 4 years old for Halloween!! My grandmother even made me a red yarn wig to go with it!

I love your blog, it helps me get through the week.

Hanna said...

Ooh the tonsilitis plot was from this book...I totally remember a scene where Stacey was with Charlotte in the waiting room and she's reading Highlights and some hot guy walks in an she gets all embrassed. And she said something about how she always thought Gallant was kind of a goody-goody. No, ya think?

Anonymous said...

Nah, Margie. I used to get it about once a year when I was kid, just before my birthday. I'd get all excited, then I'd get sick and worry I'd miss my party, but then I usually felt better just before my birthday. I think it's only if you get really bad cases, or more than once a year.

Once my doctor didn't prescribe me any medicence because she said I just had big tonsils and should gargle salt water. Now, every time I go to the frickin' doctor, and I go "Ahhh"....they all say, "Wow! You have really big tonsils!"

No, I don't. They're just vertically challenged. I'm sorry my tonsils aren't a perfect size zero like yours. *Sob sob* :P

Punkyerin said...

I have big tonsils too. I feel your pain.

This is the first book that I totally don't remember. And it makes me sad. I may have to make a trip to the library to check it out.

And welcome to the DC metro area! It's cold here!

Tiff said...

well, thanks for the welcome...and, believe me, compared to my area of ohio, it's positively balmy!

Ellie said...

Re: Claudia's spelling - it always used to bother me that they had her spelling incorrectly in ways that made no sense- spelling the same word differently in one paragraph or spelling words wrong that NO one spells wrong
and Tiff you need to have a post that tries to figure out what the hell is up with ANM- is she a recluse? is she a lesbian? is she a genius? ?

Anonymous said...

Hey Tiff, I just read Super Mystery #4 and have made an executive decision. You TOTALLY have to blog it. Oh. My. Gosh. It is SO bad. Your favorite characters (ie Mal and Stacey :P) have WONDERFULLY awful parts.

Anonymous said...

Love the blog. I'm currently re-reading the books myself and I was wondering if you or anyone else knew where I could find a list with the Super Specials in the place they would fit in with the regular books. Does that make sense?

Katie said...

Something funny, but earlier books, when they have the sheet in the back that allows you to order future books? Some have #35 as "Stacy and the New Kid on the Block." I always thought it was some reference to NKOTB and got kinda excited about it, and then it was this, haha.

Oh well. Still a decent book thought it was kinda lame looking back.

Steph said...

I only get the English (?) covers with the brickwork and fake window, so I hadn't seen this cover. But is totally NOT how I pictured that house (not that its any of the illustrators business) - and it look like the house in A Nightmare On Elm Street.