So, in this book, some old house is getting torn down and Charlotte’s staying with Stacey and her mom while the Johanssens go out of town for family stuff. There are mysterious occurrences when Stacey & Char visit the house, and Char gets tonsillitis again. I shit you not, this is the completely random nature of this book. It makes precious little sense. So, was the town really built on an ancient burial ground? Why does the house give them all nightmares? Who knows? I don’t think they solved that part. But anyway, they find out who owned the house (rant forthcoming) and go visit him in the nursing home, and he tells them a bunch of ghost stories…Finally the house comes down, Stacey hallucinates, all the mysterious things are explained away (Yay, science!) and it turns out owner guy died the night before. Ah, happy endings.
So, as befits the random nature of this book, I give you a random list…
- We get hit with Stacey’s “poor, divorced, divided me” on the first fucking page!
- What world does Stacey live in where hers in the only Dad that works on Saturdays? My dad always did (retail), but she grew up in New York, for fuck’s sake. Like Laine’s big-time producer dad works 9-5.
- Um, sweetie? Cinnamon does not always come sprinkled on cappuccino. Just sayin.’
- “I guess Logan must like Mary Anne for the same reasons all of us do: She’s understanding, a good listener, and really a lot of fun.” And she’s a pushover. And when she gets a spine, he gets all mad and distant. Cynical, cynical me.
- ”I couldn’t believe how fascinated everyone was with the “news” about some dumb old house. I guess that’s what happens when you live in Stoneybrook all your life. Anything seems exciting.” Condescending much, bitch?
- I know I feel presidential when wearing a visor.
- Oooh! Do you remember Colorforms? I fucking loved those as a kid! (And if I still had some, I’d probably still love them!)
- Isn’t Charlotte a little old for Raggedy Ann? I was into her before I started school. Exhibit A:
(Me and my brother at a very young age dressed up as Raggedy Ann and Andy...definitely preschool age...)
- The house Stacey describes looks nothing like the house on the cover. A little cooperation, some communication might have helped that…Exhibit B:
- You know, I just can’t reiterate enough how fucking gullible these girls are…they are so willing to believe in ghostly happenings, it drives me nuts. I was like that when I was seven or eight, not 13!
- Oh, yeah…Charlotte is crazy excited cause she gets to go to a bunch of BSC meetings.
- Will no one shut Karen up? Her very fictional existence is sucking my soul out through my tear ducts.
- With all the stuff about burial grounds, I felt like I was reading this book in Spookyvision!
- Um, Stacey’s mom leaves Stacey to deal with Charlotte and the doctor. The fuck?
- OH MY FUCKING GOD! CLAUDIA ACTUALLY THINKS SHE MIGHT BECOME A LIBRARIAN LIKE HER MOM. I’m sorry Claudia. Though you could get into library school (they will let anyone in), you will not find a job. You have to be able to read and write. Sorry.
- None of the BSCers has ever taken kids to story time at the SPL? Seriously?
- Okay, Mrs. Kishi is the director of the library. I doubt she has tons of time to mingle with all the little kids.
- ”Liberrian.” Okay, sure, little kids. But there are people in library school who actually say this. No shit. My librarian posse can back me up on this one (btw, welcome Yogmas!)
- Claud gets embarrassed cause she doesn’t know her way around the library, despite director Mom. Seriously, she doesn’t know any of the reference librarians or anything? She asks a middle school page. For local history help. Gack! So many issues!
- Ah, pre-automation library…Thank Gebus for computers…
- Kristy calls an emergency meeting about the ghosty stuff. Why?
- I’m sure Mal can talk Stacey out of being jealous of 7 siblings.
- Seriously, Stace. You're seeing flames where there are none. Maybe you should get some help…or at least some Valium.
Wait, what’s that Stacey? You love what? “I had dressed for my train ride in a white jumpsuit, layered over a blue tank top. I had on white push-down socks with blue hearts all over them, a wide blue patent leather belt, and a wild necklace made of all kinds of plastic sea creatures in a rainbow of colors.” And she wears the jumpsuit again (with different shirt/accessories) the next day! Awesome!
Oh, I’ll probably be posting late next week; I’m going out of town this weekend (Look out D.C. Metro!), and while I will be watching the Super Bowl (and rooting for the Colts), I will not be reading any BSC books…So, apologies in advance…