2. This cover
represented everything I thought being a teenager was about. Going rollerskating with your friends, one of whom would be wearing a fedora. Actually, I wanted to be the one with the fedora. It’s true. Plus, Mary Anne’s totally wearing mom jeans.
Okay, the plot: Dude, isn’t it obvious? Mary Anne fucking misses Logan. And there’s some super lame author project that every 8th grader has to do, and she winds up in a group with Pete Black, Logan, and Cokie Mason (who is, incidentally, totally schemin’ on Logan). La la la la. Pete and M.A. do all the work, but Logan finally pitches in at the end, just in time for them to present in front of the whole school and the author they’ve been studying. (Megan Rinehart, whom the all-knowing internet tells me doesn’t actually exist.) And Cokie totally eats it.
Subplot: Toilet Monster. Fucking retarded. Seriously. Um, Korman kids think there’s a monster in their toilet. And I got stupider just reading about it.
So, we list:
- Okay, MA’s all, “oh, I’m missing a part of me, we knew each other so well, blah, blah, blah, whiny girlie bullshit” but they started dating in 8th grade, and they’re still in 8th grade, so how long were they together anyway? And I know, they’re thirteen (and fictional), and it’s all love and overwrought, but give me a break…
- “I’m not allowed to wear really cool things, such as cowboy boots, the way most of my friends are.” Hee!
- Heh. “Everyone is an individual, but Dawn is a true individual.” Also, “Dawn could probably get away with wearing a burlap bag, because she’s gorgeous."
- Having younger siblings does not necessarily make you patient. Just sayin’
- “Hi, by dabe is Hudter Brudo.” I hate you, ANM. That’s just dumb. And it’s always been dumb.
- Oooh! Stacey fashion! “…like paisley-print leggings; a huge, long shirt; short, black, lace-up boots; and a ton of silver jewelry. She might top off the look with a black fedora.” Yup.
- Claudia likes accessories (Really? I had no clue!): “T-shirt clips, slap-wrist bracelets, and for her hair, ties, beads, ribbons, combs, you name it.” Scorpions? Would she wear live scorpions in her hair? Please?
- Heh, Claud thinks that they might get assigned Danielle Steele [shouldn’t that just be Steel?] or Stephen King, and everyone makes fun of her…
- Dude, MA starts crying when she finds out Logan’s in her group.
- Cokie flirts with Logan. A lot. And it makes MA jealous. Whoop-di-shit. [I’ve never had to spell that before.]
- Shut up, Kristy, you do not know everything about child-rearing at 13. ‘Kay?
- Mary Anne’s big reconciliation date outfit? An “oversized blue top and a pair of red tights.” Isn’t she supposed to be shy? As in, too shy to leave the house barely dressed?
And, happy ending, they’re back together. Lucky, lucky us.