Sorry, what? Oh, yeah, this book. SUCKS!!!
The plot: Jessi’s mom goes back to work, so the dreaded Aunt Cecelia moves in. And Jessi and Becca play pranks, and Aunt Dictator is a super mega bitch. And it’s a mess, but, because she’s in the BSC, she won’t talk to her parents about it. But the subplot makes Jessi understand what’s going on, and there’s a family conference. Ta-da, happy ending.
The subplot: Jackie Rodowsky wants to enter the Stoneybrook Elementary School Science Fair; he decides to make an erupting volcano like on the Brady Bunch. That’s what he actually says. So, Jessi decides to help and ends up terrorizing him into letting her do all the work. And he doesn’t win, cause her coaching didn’t actually teach him anything. But he’s all happy cause he impressed some kids at school with his lava-spewing VOLCANO!!! WOO!!!
- I hate when ANM does Mme Noelle’s accent. Seriously, shut up…it’s the worst fake French accent ever.
- See! Right there on page 2! Jessi wants to go pro!
- Well, isn’t Oakley, NJ just integrated heaven?
- Why do these girls get all excited at the possible prospect of more siblings? Why would they want a(nother) baby around? I know they like baby-sitting, but really.
- I’m impressed that Mrs. Ramsey was able to jump right back into advertising after taking ELEVEN YEARS OFF. Just sayin’.
- Dude, Aunt Cecelia is their dad’s sister, and they’re totally ragging on her in front of him, and he’s apparently cool with that? WTF?
- Jessi brings up how unfair and mean AC (that’s my new abbreviation for Aunt Cecilia) was during Super Special 4.
- Also, AC’s husband died recently. Yet Jessi doesn’t seem all that phased that HER UNCLE DIED. Whatever.
- Nothing says “I’m mature and should be treated like I’m older than eleven” quite like prank wars. Yup.
- I totally remembered Jessy’s sign:
KEEP OUT (please)
THIS MEANS YOU
(THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION)
And, I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I agree with Mal. That sign is dumb.
- “Claud wears things my mother won’t even let me look at in stores [because you’re 11, dumbass!!!!!] – short, short skirts and tight black pants and off-the-shoulder sweatshirts.” Wait, she’s a dancer in the 80s and she doesn’t own at least one off-the-shoulder sweatshirt? I guess she just not a Steeltown girl on a Saturday night.
- Um, Kristy took role at one of the meetings in this one. The fuck? There are seven of them. Does she really need to take attendance? Seriously?
- The Pike kids open a lending library. And it’s never heard from again after this chapter. Vanessa gets to be the librarian cause she reads a lot. Yep, she’ll be disappointed if she tries to parlay that into a career in library science.
- Sorry, all the Jessi-bitching-about-AC stuff is really boring, so I’m not going to bother.
- ”Besides, I have to watch my weight. I can’t be a fat ballerina.” Damn straight.
- Thank scrod that ANM didn’t go overboard with the BSC-ers helping their charges with their science fair project. Cause then this book would have wound up under all the snow and ice outside.
- Even Jessi thinks that it’s hilarious that Claudia is helping anyone with anything remotely language related.
- Hee! Charlotte plays Duran Duran for the “rock and roll” portion of her experiment. Oh, John Taylor. I harbored a thing for you into high school. I think Char was probably more of a Simon fan. But that’s pure speculation.
- Oh. My. God. AC doesn’t let Jessi go to a BSC meeting AS PUNISHMENT FOR BEING TEN MINUTES LATE!
- Yeah, right. AC, who apparently has kids, was nervous that she wouldn’t be as good a sitter as an 11-year-old. My ass.
- Oh, hell yeah! “Stacey was wearing tight black pants that reached just above her ankles, and sported [nice use of the thesaurus, ANM!] a column of four silvery buttons at the bottoms. (The buttons were just for show, I think.) Over the pants she was wearing a long (past her knees) blue jacket made of soft material. Under that she was wearing a sleeveless blouse…Claud was wearing a fake leopard-skin vest, a fairly tame blouse, and blue leggings…And finally Mal and me, also in jeans, but wearing (if I do say so myself) pretty fresh sweat shirts.” Sweet.
- And another boring happy ending.
Hee! on the cover, she looks like she's haunted by AC's wooden spoon! Fear it!!
Plus, a little gift: