Full disclosure: I was kinda sporty as a kid, and I still hated this book. And pretty much everything to do with the Krushers. And the Bashers. Cause nothing is more boring than reading about a bunch of little kids that can't really play, but try to play a sport anyway. Boring. Plus, I found the basic premise that two 13-year-old kids would each start baseball/softball/wiffleball teams for kids that aren't in legitimate leagues a little...suspect.
Yeah. That's the plot. Kristy forms a rag tag team of misfits...oh, wait, isn't there a joke about this Wet Hot American Summer? About this being a mega-cliche? Yeah, the average age of her players, as is mentioned 15 million fucking times is 5.8 years old. And she has a two and half year old on the team, and none of the older kids care? Anyhoo, the Krushers play the Bashers (that's Bart's team, for those who don't read ESPN.com). And they lose! (Cause, seriously? If they had won, it would be only slightly more believable than Jessi's parents leaving her in charge for the weekend, and that's saying a lot!) But they played a good game, and they threw their hearts into it, and they did their best, and I feel like I'm watching
Rudy, or, more likely, Lucas.
Oh, and the subplot? Kristy li-ikes Bart! Cause he's a boy that likes sports and is cute. And it's instant crush. Because there are no cute boys that like sports. Nope, none at all. Never met a cute boy who is into sports. Or something. (I suppose the fact that he likes kids helps, though that's not really laid out for us.)
So, in this book:
- Kristy can't believe her at least 37-year-old mom is talking about another kid. Wait, I thought she (and every other fucking girl in these books) was all about more, more, more babies! And she doesn't know how old her mom is? Weak.
- I love when Kristy describes Claud's clothes: "You should see how she dresses--wild! Baggy jeans, skintight pants, miniskirts, odd layers of things, bright colors, and weird jewelry."
- Mary Anne brings Tigger to a BSC meeting. Why? And Claud doesn't mind? Seriously?
- "A very, very, cute guy was in the Taylors' yard, raking up dead grass and twigs and things. It couldn't be Bart. Most people around here have gardeners to take care of their lawns." Wah-chicka-wah-wah! [Sing it like bad 70s porn music. It's hard to spell.]
- Kristy likes the word "trepidation." I, on the other hand, like the word "trepanation."
- Woo, go Red Sox. I think it's funny that a group of kids in Connecticut mention the Sox, the Mets and the Dodgers. Notice any team missing? One that has a following in CT? Like the Yankees?
- Dude, Woolworth's? Hello, 1946.
- Claud spells Mallory "Mallery." Bitch can't spell my name, bitch is no longer my friend.
- I had totally forgotten about Claire's baseball tantrums. "Nofe-air! Nofe-air! Nofe-air!"
- The lesson in the book is beaten over our head at every chance: they have heart and team spirit, so they're winners!" Blah.
- Claud pulls one of Jackie's teeth during a practice. [He gets hit in the face while playing catcher. I know how much that fucking sucks.] I think my parents mighta gotten a little pissed if a babysitter pulled out a loose tooth. But, then again, it's the "walking disaster." I should get that on my business cards: Best cataloger on the planet and walking disaster. Yeah.
- Karen won't spell Krushers on her shirt. Because she's an annoying little twat, she has a shirt that says Kristy's Crushers.
- Since when do softball teams have cheerleaders?
- The elementary school is making the Rodowskys pay for a window that Jackie breaks while practicing. Isn't that what insurance is for?
- The Bashers distract Bart so they can mock the Krushers during a practice. And it's all so very unnecessary. I mean, in terms of plot.
- Bad grammar alert! "Us Baby-sitters Club members were even giving up on our meeting so we could cheer the Krushers on."
- I've never understood exactly what Kristy means when she says Watson sounds "jerky." Any clue?
- Aw, Bart likes Kristy's collie hat. It must be luv. And they hold hands even though they've talked, like, four times.
Kristy looks my age. And an awful lot of those kids have really round, red noses. Weird.
Okay, I seriously hate hate hate how ANM is actually pretty mean-spirited when it comes to Jackie Rodowsky. We get it, he's a klutz. And we also get it, you hate him. Enough! And as someone who has been called "entertainingly cruel" [thank you, thank you, roses aren't necessary], there's funny and then there's just cruel. Sure, sometimes it's a tightrope walk, but if you're PMSing or nic-fitting, don't mock anything that's iffy! Just sayin'.
[Wow, this one's kinda short. Oh, well. I'm actually surprised I managed this
much about this stinker.]