Monday, May 07, 2007

I always thought it was kind of silly; or, BSC #45: Kristy and the Baby Parade

Mystery solved: This is the book in which the BSC "ladies" take an infant care course. Now I can sleep easier. Or something. I didn't remember anything about this book. But I'm almost positive I read it the first time around, because I remember books around it. So, I'm thinking this was one of the winners that I read once and never picked up again. Cause it sucked. Seriously. Majorly. It's made of suck, if you will. And I definitely will. There was not enough non-babysitting/small children content in this book. I almost threw it at the man sitting across from me at the coffee place (mmm...iced tea).

So, remember the scary dead baby on the ceiling in Trainspotting?  Well, the babies on the cover of this book look a little too much like that for comfort:




[Aside: There was a picture of Fiona Apple on the cover of some teen mag circa 1998 that also looked wicked like that dead baby, and it totally gave me nightmares after seeing the mag at 7-11. Yeah, I was in college. Got a problem with that?]

Ah, not much plot in this one. All the BSC take an infant care class because Kristy has to take one in order to take a regular job with the Prezziosos. And Kristy gets a perfect score. Woo-hoo. So, afterwards, there are lots of sitting jobs involving actual babies. And don't forget the titular Stoneybrook Baby Parade which only rolls around every other year. Apparently, the Baby Parade consists of assholes spending lots of money and effort on dragging a bunch of floats, wagons, strollers and screaming bebbies (3 and under) around d-town Stoneybrook. [Seriously, the fuck? A baby parade? Really? If these things really happen, I need to smack someone. Cause gathering that many infants in one place could be dangerous? Am I the only one who's seen that episode of the Simpsons with the baby-riots?] And the BSC decide to make a float and bring NINE BABIES (!!!!!?????!!!!!!) on it. That's five 13-year-olds and two 11-year-olds and a shit-ton of brats. (Oh, and Logan and Shannon get roped into watching all the older siblings of the babies.) But the BSC don't work together, so they wind up humiliating themselves and Saint Charlie, who gets roped into dragging the float along behind his car. Oh, and Kristy has to help Mrs. Prezzioso with her entry, though she really doesn't do too much. I'm still not even sure why that's in there. Cause K's all worried she'll get fired from her regular job if Baby Prezzioso doesn't win first place or something. Great, bounding leaps of logic here. Oh, and the big fight ends. What?

Blah. Stupid babies.


  • Most ironically meta first sentence ever: "Okay, I admit it. I was bored."

  • Wait, Kristy occasionally gets bored while sitting? Perhaps she's not a robot after all.

  • Nanny's "husband died years ago." Dontcha just love how these girls talk about their dead relatives?

  • Kristy on Emily Michelle [PS-Why do they usually call her by her first and middle name? It's not like there's another Emily in the fam.]: "She's adorable. Did I already tell you that? Well, she is. I looked at her glossy, straight black hair cut like a Dutch girl's. [The fuck?] I looked at her sparkling brown almond-shaped eyes. I looked at her plump, pink cheeks and at her sturdy little hands [huh?]...and at her round little tummy." Um, is it just me or is this vaguely creepy?

  • Woo! Second week in a row mentioning the Red Sox.

  • Gotta love vaguely bitchy pseudo-compliments: "Mary Anne tends to dress a little more stylishly than I do--there are times when she actually looks cool, which I never do." Um. Nice?

  • Claud is "always up on the latest trend, whether it's big black shoes, tie-dyed leggings, or cool hats." Big black shoes never go out of style. They are not a trend. They are a way of life. Sure, there are times when they are harder to find, and that sucks.

  • Pretzels are not boring. They are a wonderful snack food that happens to not be crappy for you.  (Though, dipped in Nutella, they're definitely more on the junk food tip.)

  • Lame! The BSCers wear their BSC t-shirts (totally forgot about these) to the infant care class.

  • Hee. The woman teaching the class, Anita, has a "partner" named Don, and all the BSCers get a crush on him. Though, for some reason, that dissipates when they realize he's a dad. But not in a "I am NOT old enough to date someone with kids!" way. Or a "Great, now I have to be nice to his brats" way. I am a horrible person.

  • Yes, in a room full of parents and parents-to-be, Kristy is the only one to think that a wailing baby might need a diaper change.

  • There's this weird interjection about cloth diapers being better for the environment.

  • A man is the only person other than Kristy to get a perfect score on their evaluations. And everyone is surprised. Cause, yeah.

  • I don't care if Candy Land is boring, Kristy. You're the fucking babysitter. Get over yourself.

  • "Andrea 'startled' at the noise. Anita had told us about that reflex. Babies do it when they hear a sudden sound. Her whole body seemed to jump, and her eyes flew wide open." Yeah, that happens to me pretty much ALL THE TIME. ADULTS STARTLE, TOO! I don't get the point of including this little tidbit. At all.

  • Um, I really hate Jessi's handwriting. Way too flowy.

  • Claud's got a real doozy of an outfit: "an oversized red blouse with black buttons, green leggings with white, tie-dyed streaks, and black high-top sneakers with all kinds of buckles and snaps on them." She's literally dressed like a watermelon. To the point that she's wearing watermelon earrings. FUUUUUUUUUG!

  • Jamie Newton says "liberry." I suppose I should forgive him, because he's a fictional four-year-old. But fuck that. I hate when people say that!!!!! Somebody get me a wire hanger!

  • Tra-la-la. All babies are so-oooooooooooo cute.  [GAG.]

  • All the girls have really fucking lame ideas for the float: baby baseball, baby surfing, baby kittens (with Tigger on the float), babies in New York, babies as Misty of Chincoteague, babies from outer space." Retarded.

  • The theme they finally choose is "The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe." Or, as Claudia spells it on the actual signs on the float: "Their was an old womman who lived in a sho," and "Thair was an old womann who lived in a shue." How does she spell really easy words differently at the same time? It makes my head hurt!!!!

  • Oh, yeah. There's this whole thing about how Jenny wants to be in the parade with Andrea. Cause we care.

  • Ah, in ancient times when Elmo "isn't on very often, so Squirt has to watch carefully in order to catch him." Now, you can watch Elmo jack off in Target. Aren't you glad we're alive now?

  • The baby costumes are bright pink, and they clash horribly with the orangey-red of the shoe. I'm surprised that no one combines those colors in an outfit later in the book.

  • The grand marshall of the parade is some old-timey cowboy named Slim Peabody. And Kristy ponders, "Why couldn't they have gotten somebody like Cam Geary to lead the parade?" Um, because cool and or genuinely famous people don't HOST FUCKING BABY PARADES IN SMALL TOWN CONNECTICUT! Whew. Sorry.

  • So, the parade is a fucking disaster for the BSC. They actually failed at something involving with children. My world is collapsing around me. At this time of trouble, I need my friends for support. Too bad I'm not a member of the BSC. They are the best friends I'll (n)ever have.

  • Babies dressed up like Star Wars characters...yeah. AKA, these dorks have way too much time on their hands. [Shut up! I...um...am sadly shaking my head in resignation.]

  • Blah, fight's over. Oooh, communication.



Damn. That was a ridiculous one.

68 comments:

srah said...

Babies as Misty of Chincoteague? Whose stupid idea was that? I am looking at you, Mallory Pike.

Anyone know what happened to those AWESOME BSC stories on fanfiction.net that were all about Mallory growing up and being pathetic and oblivious? Those were pretty much the best thing ever.

Kristen said...

Ha, I remember the watermelon outfit. I once actually tried to imitate it....I was such a dork.

But you're right this book did suck, I read it a few times, but pretty much hated it. It was probably realistic, but boring.

Anonymous said...

I think this is the book that made me just quit reading BSC when I was a kid, b/c bits of it sound familiar, but not all of it, like is the case with most of the other ones I'd read that you've reviewed. Hmmm...must have been pretty horrendous to get me to want to purge myself of the BSC.

Anonymous said...

oh god, i thought the exact same thing when kristy made that cam geary comment. shut up, kristy.

agree that that description of emily was way too detailed and unnecessary and just boring. emily's cute, we get it.

can't believe charlie still dragged their piece of crap behind his car when the whole town (i'm assuming?) was watching. no 17 year boy would do that. puh-leeze.

so much hate for this book! everyone is such a nerd (more so than usual...)

stephanie-austin.com said...

As soon as I saw the cover I was like "orange and pink and clashing!"

I was into the BSC for way longer than I should have been (and I mean that I was serious into it, and once when I was in college I wandered around a Bookman's and tried to find them because I wanted to see if the girls ever left middle school) and at some point I used to wonder if Charlie was hot. Did any of the girls have crushes on Kristy's brothers? Don't remember. Well, they should have.

Elmo and jacking off = priceless.

Anonymous said...

Stacey actually dated Kristy's brother Sam in some of the books. I remember them getting together in one of the superspecials...

Kelly said...

I feel like this is your best review yet! I haven't read this book for (probably a very good) some reason and I was wondering if there was a mention of why the baby on the front cover had magical flying powers?

Dawn said...

That was great. I just read your blog to my husband..he now wants me to read this book to him. The Elmo/jacking off comment was the best thing I read all day. Thankk for the laughs!!

Anonymous said...

But who won the BSC party gig with ANM?

Randi Radio said...

The baby parade concept is very weird and creepy, but I have to admit I enjoy this book because the BSC failing miserably is a novelty when in the rest of the series they can do no wrong.

Christine said...

I love how they get Claudia to make the signs. Sure she's all artsy and creative, but they forgot that halfway illiterate!

lilysela said...

aaah has anyone seen this?

http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/12259980.html?page=6

Ann M Martin:Huuge Dyke

Anonymous said...

Seriously. She makes ALL their signs for them. Get a clue, BSC.

lisa said...

I hated this book, I used to get so frustrated with it.

That must happen a lot with the BSC though because I'm reading Mary Anne and Camp BSC at the moment and that's annoying me as well. I hate Karen and she appears in this one a lot so maybe that's why.

But regarding the Baby Parade? Bleurgh.

Christal said...

I can't believe I just found this site. I was sick this weekend, and I read through the entire thing giggling that I remembered so much. My best friend and I still occasionally talk about Stacy's Emergency and her reaching for the brownies.

amanda said...

Okay, vague memories of this book are now returning. I definitely remember that horrid cover! Yuck. But I was so jealous of Claud's watermelon outfit! I totally wanted one for myself.

bel said...

My favourite thing about Claudia's watermelon outfit is that it prompts Jamie Newton to say "hey, you can help me with my halloween costume!" Take the hint, Claudia.

Tara said...

I agree with your comment about Jessi's handwriting being to flowy. It is. Whenever she writes, it takes me forever to figure out what's writing!!!

And this blog cracks me up. But it makes me wonder if you really dislike the BSC or you're really sarcastic. XD XD Great blog.

Emily said...

I totally had a crush on Kristy's brothers.

Did anyone ever have the BSC Dolls? I have this Mary-Anne doll, who had to be about 14-16 inches tall, and her limbs moved, but because she was a weird rubber she creaked... She wore a plaid skirt and red turtle neck with brown loafers. HOT.

~Emily

Anonymous said...

When I was in the 4th and 5th grade and still trying figure out my handwriting, I would mimic the writing styles of the BSCers!! My teachers must have been so confused because from one week to another I'd have handwriting that looked like Kristy, Mary Anne, Stacy, Dawn and Jessi. I never tried to do Claudia's handwriting b/c it was just too too sloppy. Interestingly enough, I think my handwriting now looks most like Mary Anne's.
I am going to go put my head in the oven now. I am a dork.

Anonymous said...

I think my husband is seriously worried about me because I've been re-reading the BSC books (I'm going through all the Super Specials first -- how many school vacations did these girls get?). Yes, I'll hide my need to re-read them from the world, but I have to hide it from him, too???

coquelicot said...

You mean that Kristy actually wears a DRESS in this one? That has to be her first dress since...what, her mom and Watson's wedding? Knowing her, though, she probably has jeans on under it.

Clare said...

I totally had the Dawn doll, and I remember being pissed because she was too big to wear Barbie clothes and shoes. I mean, what's the point of having a BSC doll if you can't dress it up in ridiculous outfits?

I totally tried to adopt Stacey's handwriting style in about the fourth or fifth grade, but I eventually grew out of it. (I think the hearts over the i's were the first to go, though I clung to the s's and e's for quite some time.) And my college roommate once confessed to me that her current handwriting style is a direct result of trying to imitate Dawn's. :-)

Anonymous said...

To paraphrase Homer Simpson, "This [book] was the suckiest suck that ever suck.

j.c. said...

I know that several NJ towns have baby parades.
Ocean City supposedly has one of the nation's oldest baby parades. I find it slightly creepy

Jennifer C said...

Wow, I remember this book. You inspired me to reread some of the books when I found your blog, and I am so past disturbed at the word "dibbly." I mean, why. Way to go, Ann M. Martin, for making me look like an ass when I tried to start my OWN Babysitter's Club at age 10...and nobody called. She failed to mention that most parents don't want to leave their kids in the hands of an elementary school student.

Anonymous said...

I TOTALLY TRIED TO COPY THEIR HANDWRITING. stacey's and kristy's were my favorites. even now (college sophomore), i'll try to write my cursive like kristy's.

Anonymous said...

OMG! My parents still tease me about putting up "Need a responsible, reliable sitter?" signs all over town when I was like 11. Why did she do that to us? ANM is a cruel, evil bitch.

Elizabeth said...

I too tried to copy Stacey's handwriting! I loved how she wrote her a's, which looked so much more sophisticated than the basic "o" and "|" style of "a". I got rid of all my BSC books years ago (except for "The Truth About Stacey, which has no Stacey diary entries), so I can't tell if my handwriting has any lingering Staceyness.

This blog makes me want to hunt for BSC books at the second-hand bookstores here in Toronto. A few have BSC books.

Katie Gillet said...

Isn't that when you still had only the kind of cloth diapers that you had to fold different ways for a boy or a girl? Pins, oh my.
We use cloth diapers for our daughter, but we use the new snapping type, Fuzzi Bunz. No doubt that cloth is somewhat better simply becuase it's that much less trash you generate.

PoBaL said...

I would totally pay $$$ to see a bunch of junior high babysitters try to dress up babies like the wild ponies of Chincoteague. I'm imagining the float now...hiLARious.

Anonymous said...

my husband hasn't said anything about my recently rediscovered bsc addiction. I still can't bring myself to tell my friends though. However, today I brought a copy of the ghost at dawn's house to work to read on my lunch break... which I took outside, alone, where no one could see me... is this my dirty little secret?

Anonymous said...

I went to a wedding this weekend and the welcome basket was signed by the bride, and she dotted the "i" in her name with a HEART. She's over 30 years old. The first thing out of my mouth was, "What is this, the baby-sitters club?"

Juliet said...

you know, you've all got me wondering now if my current handwriting isn't a direct result of BSC reading when I was younger.

Anonymous said...

Okay, confession time...many of you have confessed to imitating the handwriting of various BSCers. But I must admit I went one step further at the height of my BSC obsession...when I was younger I actually kept a DIARY that I thought of as my 'BSC Notebook'! I used to update it regularly with made up stories of 'sitting experiences'. Each entry was written using the handwriting of the particular BSC member whose experience it was. I think I still have it somewhere....

SAD!!!!!

Anonymous said...

So I'm now addicted to the site, but see you're missing a very important part of BSC Books--MYSTERIES! Those were my favorite as a child, and I'd love to see eat, chew and spit them out into wonderful entertainment. This is great.

Stephanie said...

For awhile I thought that dotting i's with hearts was totally awesome. My handwriting is terrible. It's the worst. So my i's with hearts just looked scary.

I also took a babysitting class through, like, school or something and was a certified babysitter for awhile. Hated it.

Anonymous said...

The only thing i remember about this book is during the parade Kristy describes bagpipes sounding like a bunch of hungry cats fighting over a piece of fish. I do not know why that is the only thing that stands out.
Also, my handwriting is also a direct result of attempting to imitate Dawn's.

Deborah said...

This is the last BSC book I read. I bought it, read it in an hour or two, and couldn't believe how stupid it was. I decided dafter this book that I was done! I think I was about 11, and I remember thinking "what a waste of money!" I don't remember much of this book except that it was really dumb and that the BSC failed at something. The earlier books were so much better. Those damn ghostwriters!

joanne said...

Thanks to this site I just spent about $35 on Half.com buying old BSC books. You can suprisingly get a lot for that much money... (If they are from the same seller.)

I was totally in love with Charlie Thomas, I just imagined him as being so nice since he drove around all these dumb teenagers. Looking back, that might have made him very creepy.

Also, after reading the comments I have realized that I have Dawn handwriting. As much as I hated her, I think Mallory's writing was the easiest to read for me. Remember when she used to do the kitten/dog thing under her name?

Anonymous said...

omg- i hated that one too. It was only when I learned many years later that other people did most of the writing, not Ann M. Martin herself, that it made sense to me why I read some of the books 100000 times and others...once. #45 was definitely in the "once" category.

megan said...

i was going to comment about the baby parades in new jersey, but i see jc has beaten me to it. but yeah, in some shore towns in jersey, they have baby parades in the summer. i've never been to one though.
and i totally had the bsc dolls! i had kristy and jessie and claudia. but they were kind of cheap, because claudia's boots broke. i wish i still had them, but i think they got sold at a yard sale.
this site is great! all i remember about the bsc books are the outfit descriptions and the fact that EVERY book had the entire history of the bsc taking up several pages. that always annoyed me.

Allie said...

My cousin turned me onto your awesome little traipse through BSC memory lane... nice work...

have you ever seen this:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90288

Quite amusing.

(my apologies if you have linked to something like it in a previous post, I'm midway through 2006... Figured I should read things in order

Sophia said...

Babies as Misty of Chincoteague? Whose stupid idea was that? I am looking at you, Mallory Pike.

AHAHAHAHAHA seriously...this book was stupid. Stacey must have blowing Charlie or something for him to do all the things that he did for the BSC...

Anonymous said...

oh, my god i totally forgot about the whole imitating their handwriting thing. i put hearts over the i's for like a whole year when i was 10. oddly enough, my writing is now very similar to mary annes...

Desci said...

Wire Coathangers. Hee!

MagentaNation said...

Omg, I hated Mallory and her stupid little kitten face she always wrote under her name. That's because I spent the better part of my childhood thinking it was an 'i' and wondering "Why the hell is she signing her name Mallory I?"

kiwimusume said...

Oh my God, I love this journal so much!!

Do you take requests? If so, could you please review #7, Claudia And Mean Janine? ANM's "Japanese" makes me seriously ragey. No Japanese person, especially a stroke victim who's lost a large amount of their language skills, would write a Japanese word in English letters. I also remember spending the first few years of high school Japanese being confused about why "white" was "shiro" or "shiroi" when ANM had said it was "shiroku". Now I know the stupid woman just lifted it from somewhere where it was being used in its adverbial form. Bleh. Plz to be doing your homework on foreign languages before you attempt to use them in your books, ANM, kthx.

Anyways, thanks for your hilarious reviews and keep it up!! :D

kiwimusume said...

Allie, your link makes me die. XD

PS: So does the word verification thing, which appears to be "eilvncow". XD

Anonymous said...

oh im surprised you didnt comment on the cover: "Win a baby sitters club party with Ann Martin" im so curious about what exactly would happen at a baby sitters club party.

Katie said...

OMG, I hated this book! Baby parade? Gah. And Mrs. Prezzioso's obsession with it was annoying.

I too, imitated the BSC members handwriting. One of my BFF's from grade school and I used to pretend we were members of the BSC (she was usually MA, I was Dawn or Stacey) and we'd write about our sitting jobs in a notebook. But we'd also write entries for the other sitters as well. I think my handwriting mirrors Kristy's more than anyone else's.

I'd like to make a request as well, I'd LOVE to see a review of one of the California Diaries books!

Anonymous said...

baby kittens with tigger on the float?! how is that a bad idea? fo realz. baby kittens are the cutest animals ever.

and kristy was one of my least favorite babysitters.. i skipped a lot of hers.

Samantha said...

I'm kinda glad I never read this one. I find the comment about Emily creepy too.

Request: Stacey vs. The BSC please!!!!!\

Radhika said...

I'm reading this at work, and I can't stop giggling. Strangely I don't remember this one either, it must have really been that bad. Love the watermellon outfit, the sad thing is I am pretty sure I saw someone wearing something similar last week.

I always hated Kristy. Who wears turtle-necks THAT much?

Anonymous said...

Think god i'm not the only one!!!

I didn't try to start my own club, but I thought I needed to be the first one at my school to dress like Stacey. Not good.

I loved Stacey. Tried to write like her. Dress like her. I wanted to move to New York. I everything was either sophiscated or not.

Anonymous said...

I second the request for Stacey vs. the BSC

Anonymous said...

Sadly, at some point in my life, I tried to imitate Dawn's handwriting. I thought big, slanted, handwriting was so cool. Although I've pretty much given up on that, my handwriting looks most like Mallory's.
Didn't read this book, before, but it sounds like ANM is running out of plot ideas. Baby parade? Seriously?

nichole said...

mmmm - pretzels dipped in Nutella, one of my personal favorites. I don't remember this one specifically, but I do remember Claudia's watermelon outfit.

Anonymous said...

//Um, because cool and or genuinely famous people don't HOST FUCKING BABY PARADES IN SMALL TOWN CONNECTICUT!//

WORD.

Dude, your blog totally made me want to readthis one. I was kind of dreading it, and the firstten chapters were pure torture of "Ooooooohhh aren't babies CYOOOOOOT?!". But to my surprise, the parade chapters were HILarious. I mean, a senior in high school dragging around a horrible float for a BABY parade? And it totally cracked me up how Kristy was like, "Get me outta here!"

What's kind of weird is that in the book the float is described as unidentifiable and umpy, but in the cover in looks fairly good. But yeah . . . orange and pink?

These girls seriously wig me out about the way they totally get excited over BABIES. It's kind of creepy. And boring. And so is that description of Em.

Anonymous said...

Claudia spells simple words different kinds of wrong because it stifles her creativity to have to write them the same every time. Did you never read Stacey and the Mystery at the Mall?

Raine said...

I write my T's with a curly tail because of some damn diary entries.

And, uh, who really wants to party with ANM? I'm sure she's a lovely person, but hanging out with a middle-aged lesbian spinster? I think I'd rather go to a baby parade.

Anonymous said...

Rolling Stone Magazine, Issue 778, January 1998, Fiona Apple Cover (Paperback)

Mehreen said...

After Stacey's crush on Wes when she wrote what I thought was the best and most romantic poem in history, I started dotting my i's with hearts. I am now 23 and about to graduate from law school and I still do it! Granted when I'm taking notes w/speed, the <3 ends up looking like an infinity symbol, but I had to consciously try not to dot any i's on college applications with hearts, but I think I may have let one slip and that's why I didn't get into Columbia! Oh, and to whomever had the BSC Notebook, don't feel bad. I was also obsessed with Ghostwriter at the height of my BSC obsession and I kept a casebook complete with a pen necklace and kept notes with the gang. I also wrote Rally M on my hand even though I had no one to rally with and no fuzzy ball of light to read to my hand. Many things in my childhood were quite disillusioning...the maturity of 11-13-year olds and the ability of Middle Schoolers in Brooklyn to solve very dangerous mysteries.

Emily said...

Umm...the Old Woman who lived in a shoe whipped her children and sent them to bed. Great float idea.

Anonymous said...

Stacy was my favorite and I dotted my i's with hearts too for awhile and tried to copy her hamdwritting. I also had the Stacy doll and she came with a Charlotte doll.
I didn't have a BSC notebook but I wanted to be a writter and wrote my own stories and it was mostly just describing what a group of friends looked like and were wearing. Thanks AMM for the inspiration. BTW, why do you call her ANM, isn't it AMM? Is it just me who is confused by that?

smingi said...

Omg, Clare i totally copied Stacey's writing too!!! Then i gave it up... but i kept the i's and i still do them... in 8th grade... oh, the shame, the shame.

Anonymous said...

I WANT THE BSC DOLL DAMMIT!!!!!

Melissa said...

Am I the only one who thought the star wars float was a very bad idea for babies? Dont you think giving a plastic sword to a baby can be dangerous? can poke someones eye out.

Also i think the girl scouts should have one

Dawn not the only one that should have appologized that big scene in Clauds back yard, Stacey was pretty bitchy too

who else wanted to just tell Jenny to shut the fuck up get over it your not in the parade!

who else was shocked the bsc didnt put on a parade for the older kids who might have been left out

also totally agree about kristy being the only one to think the baby needed a diaper when she started crying, um usually thats the first thing parents check when the baby starts crying even eating comes after that dumbasses! And I have low respect from the parents of that class who already have kids who didn't know that already stupid bitches.