First, let's talk about this:
I love the look on Cheatie McCheaterson's face. Claud's all "I have no idea, I look like an idiot." But Cheatie's like "Ha, ha...you're busted."
Also, Claud's outfit is not at all outrageous. And it's nothing like the outfit she wore to take the test. It's actually kinda how my mom used to dress in the late 70s. Plus, Mr. Zorzi? Totally looks like his name.
Alrighty, then. The "plot." So, Claud studies really hard for a math test (with Stacey and Janine), and gets an A-. But... Shawna Riverson (super-popular and over-involved in extra-curriculars) got the same grade and made the exact same mistakes, and then the teacher accuses Claudia of cheating. So, the BSC take it upon themselves to prove that Shawna's the Cheat. I mean, the cheater. [The Cheat is way to cool to make a cameo in this series.] And Claud follows Shawna & friends into the bathroom, where they talk about how & why Shawna cheated. And because of a mix-up (and a major coincidence), Dawn knows the combination for Shawna's locker, so they go through it looking for evidence. Which they find, but Claud realizes they can't use, cause, well, they fucking stole it. Finally, Janine helps out by talking to the principal or the vice principal or whoever, and convinces them to let Claudia prove herself. Which she does by "acing" a test with little or no prep time. And when Shawna is offered the same opportunity, she breaks down and confesses. And Claud gets the good grade and all is happy!!!!!! I cannot contain my joy. Or something.
Subplot: The Pike triplets break their fourth window in three months, but they won't narc on each other, so they're all kindsa punished until Mal convinces them to reenact the event, and they're all equally not-at-fault or something. Boring.
Before I start the listy goodness, I need to go off. If I may, THIS IS NOT A FUCKING MYSTERY!!!!!! THEY KNOW WHO DID IT, THEY KNOW HOW, THEY EVEN KNOW WHY (fairly early on)!!!!!!!! It's a problem, sure. A situation. But it is not a fucking mystery!!!! I know, semantics, I'm picky, whatever. Somebody's gotta have my back here. They're not solving a whodunnit! They're being idiot kids, but they're not solving any mysteries whatsoever. Anyway...
- Claud hates the name Gertrude. Is it the name? Or just because it's in a word problem? [I used to have an alter-ego name Gertrude. She was German. And she smoked cigarettes in a very peculiar manner. I have pictures. That all but one or two of you will never see.]
- Seriously, where did they come up with the name Zorzi?
- "Janine would be happy wearing the same white blouse, plaid skirt, red cardigan, and flat shoes every day." I still say that sounds way cuter than 98.5% of Claud's outfits.
- What, you might be wondering, did Claud wear for her test? Glad you asked..."I thought I'd start with my lucky earrings--the ones that look like Princess Di's. They're huge (pretend) emeralds, surrounded by thousands of tiny (phony) diamonds. Then I thought I'd work downward from there, wearing my new green-and-blue-tie-dyed T-shirt dress (the casualness of the dress would be an interesting contrast to those fancy earrings) over green leggings." Um, hawt? [Hey, RNL, if the Painkiller costumes don't come together, I can wear this, and you can dress up as a long-term substitute teacher for Halloween. And you can go around accusing me of cheating. Or we can challenge people to fight as though we were wearing the Painkiller costumes. Suitable backup plan?]
- Watson is only one of Stoneybrook's millionaires. Where did all the money come from? Can I have some?
- I love how they always make a crazy big deal about how Mary Anne has two best friends.
- Okay, Dawn is not mellow. Like, ever. Granted, she's not as ball-of-neuroses as me, but the girl turns everything into dramarama. She's the one who suggests breaking into Shawna's locker, after all...and can't decide if she wants to live in Cali or the 'Brook. And don't get her started on the environment.
- Heh. Mal & Jessi are younger, "but they're pretty cool."
- Eleven is a hard age? Shut up. I'm beginning to think there are no easy ages, but I'm really sick of hearing how hard it is to be 11.
- When I took tests, our books had to be under our desks, not next to them on the floor.
- Aw, Claud gets embarrassed by her spelling. But not embarrassed enough to do anything about it, it seems. Maybe her friends need to intervene with a little ridicule.
- Claudia never really defends herself when she's accused. She's all dumbfounded, but she's never like "I didn't cheat. Period. It wasn't me."
- And, of course, the teacher just believes Ms. Popular. As I prolly would, too. Cause it's like the highest grade Claud's ever gotten. Plus, who would ever cheat off Claudia? Really. That was sheer luck on Shawna's part, even if she heard Janine was helping Claud study.
- And why didn't Claud tell her parents the story right off the bat? Why not just get them on her side from the start? Plus, you always get in less trouble if they hear it from you first.
- The "popcorn-y smell of tacos?" Really?
- Also, the fuck? Claud won't let her parents talk to the principal. Why not? I'm not all for parents getting involved in every little thing, but being falsely accused? Let them help, for fuck's sake. Some things are bigger than a 13-year-old.
- They're all whining about how mean Mr. Zorzi is. Oh, poor babies.
- I kinda laughed when Shawna's all "I don't even have to feel bad about it. It doesn't even matter to her that she's getting an F." And Claud's all outraged or whatever, but really? That's how it looks when you roll over and take it...
- How disgusting can a sprouts on wheatberry-bread sandwich look? It's greens on bread. Shut up about the health food...
- Heh. Claud goes through this elaborate act to prove Shawna cheated, and she just winds up looking even more like a cheater.
- I think I need a button that says "If you can read this, you are a cheater and you might as well admit it!" Only I'll wear it to professional conferences and meetings and such. Just to fuck with people.
- They're all trying to think of ways to get Shawna to confess. Instead of Claud standing up for herself to the people in charge. Dumbasses.
- Claud decides to not care anymore. Cause that works.
- And she decides to dress crazy and thematically, like Ms. Frizzle (from the Magic School Bus books). Her outfit? "I decided my theme for the day would be The Sea. I put on a blue skirt with brightly colored tropical fish printed all over it. Then I put on a green blouse. I figured that could represent seaweed or something. I pulled my hair into a ponytail, over to one side, and I pinned it with a sand-dollar barrette I made last summer." And she wears jellies with sea-type stickers all over them. Okay, not really that crazy. It's not like she was wearing plastic fish tied together as a scarf or something...Hmm...
- Then she feels like an idiot when she gets called into the principal's office wearing that outfit.
- Also, I've always thought "acing" a test means a perfect score. Just saying.
- The Kishi's get a giant cake for Claud. For a single A- on a test. Setting the bar high, there.
So, that's that...Again, not sure what I'm doing next week...
Okay, this isn't BSC related, strictly speaking. But, if you're in your late 20s, and you used to watch a lot of Nickelodeon, you might find this a little interesting. Yep, that's Big Pete, and Ferguson (from Clarissa), and one of the guys from "Salute Your Shorts." Oh, and Marc Summers (or however the hell you spell his name). Plus, the song's not bad...