Plus, she looks like she's wearing tons of blush. All the little kiddies look a little crazy.
The gist: The BSC, in their complete lack of wisdom, decide to take a small army of children for a day as a special Mother's Day gift for a bunch of Stoneybrook moms, including a few of their own. See, it all starts cause they're all (except poor, poor Mary Anne) stumped for Mom's Day presents. So, they coordinate with Stoneybrook's perfect fathers to arrange a shindig for the day before Mother's Day...Dad's drop off kids & lunches at Claud's. BSC-ers (+Stacey, who comes to visit JUST TO HELP WITH THIS THING!!!!) and kids then head off to Sudsy's Carnival (which is in a local parking lot) until lunch. Then Mr. Kishi & the Mimi bring all the lunches to the playground where all the kiddies and sitters eat and play for a little while. Then they all go to Claudia's backyard for stories and crafty goodness.
Oh, and Watson and Elizabeth keep talking about another brother or sister. All the Watson-Brewer clan think that Lizzie's knocked up. But, in the real Mother's Day surprise [gag me gently with a chainsaw], they adopted a Vietnamese baby! A two-year-old! And they'll name her Emily Michelle! And they don't even have to go to Vietnam to pick her up! Ah, happy ending.
[I don't get why they adopted a Vietnamese baby, specifically. It seems a little overly complicated. Like, why not just any baby? Why not a Chinese girl? This book was written 14 years after the end of the Vietnam War, so it's not even like she could've been a war baby. And I know there were refugees from Vietnam into the mid-80s, but...I don't know. Again, it just seems so needlessly specific. It is a book for pre-teens anyway, they wouldn't know how hard it would be to adopt any baby, why not just have a orphan from Stamford? Anyway...enough of me trying to fathom out ANM's lack of logic...]
- Worst opening line ever? "I've been thinking about families lately, wondering what makes one." Way to smack us in the face with the moral of the story before it's even been told.
- Also, "Nannie, Mom's mother, lives all by herself. But I still think of her as a family--a one-person family...I guess." Um, she's a part of your family, dumbass. Families don't have to live in the same house. In fact, they often don't. When Charlie goes away to college, is he out of the fam? Cause that's weak.
- Dawn's tan in the summer, freckly the rest of the year. Also known as skin cancer in the making.
- "And her clothes are casual and as individualistic as she is. She likes to wear layers of things--a short tank top over a long tank top, or socks over tights. Dawn is pretty cool." Damn, I'm going to have to stop layering now. Except mine's mainly functional. Plus, that doesn't seem particularly different from how any of the other BSCers dress. So, perhaps not terribly individualistic after all?
- "And then there's my real father...But no, he doesn't count. Somebody who never writes, never calls, never remembers your birthday, never says he loves you, doesn't count at all." Gotta love when Kristy gets heavy like this. And why is she this bitter only when it serves to further the plot? Huh?
- No, Kristy, a visor doesn't make you look like you're in charge. It makes you look like you have a summer job at an off-track betting establishment.
- I love how they always have to add how nice Stacey is, like it's crazy rare to be both sophisticated and nice. Especially when it seems like the only sophisticated person they've ever met is Stacey.
- Blah, comparing the BSC to family. Blah, they're really different but they do nice things for each other. Blah. Thank you, Captain Obvious, for telling me what to think.
- Mother's Day is very awkward for Mary Anne. Did you know she doesn't have a mom? Also, her "best friend" Kristy forgets about that until somebody starts saying something about Mom's Day and Mary Anne gets all weird. I guess she's just not a sensitive as M.A. [Also, this whole thing seems really forced. While I see the point of including this, it's just awkward.]
- Apparently, Charlie has quite the way with the ladies.
- Oh, I hated that whole "Your epidermis is showing" joke.
- ANM always included these songs that I had never heard of. Anyone else?
- Elizabeth had Charlie right after she graduated from college. That took some planning, I'm sure.
- I seriously, seriously doubt that a 17-year-old, a 15-year-old and a 13-year-old would be soooo fucking cool with the idea of their mom getting preggers. Not least of all because that would be physical evidence of their mother having sex. And the little kids are all anti-baby. I think maybe she got it backwards. Cause I really doubt the teenagers would be so chillaxed about the whole deal.
- Also, I don't care if you love babies, Kristy. You don't want one "in [your] house, twenty-four hours a day."
- Part of Kristy's logic for the big Mother's Day gift? "And I thought, what would a mom like more than anything else? Then the answer came to me--not to be a mom for a while." She gets that, but she doesn't get why she might not want a fucking baby around the house?
- Oooh, outfits! "Mallory, with her new short haircut, was sitting on the floor, leaning against Claud's bed. She was wearing jeans with zippers up the bottoms of the legs, and a sweat shirt that said STONEYBROOK MIDDLE SCHOOL across the front. In her new pierced ears were tiny gold hoops." Nice...I'm totally picturing acid-washed jeans. And that's a really grown-up sweatshirt, Mal. Just sayin'.
- "Jessi was wearing matching hoops (I think she and Mal had gone shopping together), a purple dance leotard, and jeans. Over the leotard she was wearing a purple-and-white striped shirt, unbuttoned." Ah, remember when you and your best friend had to have matching shit?
- We're not done yet..."Mary Anne's hair was pulled back in a ponytail and held in place with a black-and-white checkered bow that matched the short skirt she was wearing. Around her neck was a chain and dangling from it were gold letters that spelled out Mary Anne."
- "Dawn was wearing a necklace, too, only hers said I'M AWESOME. [If you have to tell people you're awesome, YOU'RE REALLY FUCKING LAME!!!! Also, I'm totally reminded of that fake commercial on SNL where Will Ferrell's selling a hat that says "I'm #1" or something to that extent. Anyone remember what it said exactly? And wasn't there a necklace at the end that said something for women???] ... Also she was wearing a fairly tame dress, but on her feet were plaid high-top sneakers." Ooh, crazy. She's so unique.
- "Then there was Claudia. She was wearing a pretty tame dress, too--with a red necktie! Then, she had on these new, very cool roll socks. When she pushed them down just right, they fell into three rolls. The top roll was red, the middle one was peacock blue, and the bottom one was purple. She looked as if she were wearing ice-cream cones on her feet. In her hair was a braided band in red, blue and purple, like her socks. And dangling from her ears were--get this--spiders in webs." My 10th grade English teacher would've bitchslapped ANM for using so much fucking passive sentence structure. Why not "She wore spiders in webs dangling from her ears?" The way she says it is so fucking boring and awkward.
- Claud "babbysat" again. And "printinding" for pretending doesn't even make sense...I can kinda get behind transposing letters or spelling things phonetically. But making words that don't even look close to how they sound is just retarded.
- I also hate how ANM tries to be all clever by making little kids screw up the words to songs. Always annoyed the piss out of me.
- When M.A. suggests inviting Jenny Prezzioso, Kristy keeps saying, "Ew." The fuck? The most prissy-ass kid on the planet is hardly skeeving her out. I can understand a less than joyful reaction, but seriously, couldn't she think of anything better than ew?
- I also have a really hard time believing that Stacey's super-psyched about her first trip back to the 'Brook is an unpaid sitting extravaganza. Also, her parents are cool with her not being in New York for most of Mother's Day?
- Claud illustrates the invites, and it shows a harried mom and a relaxed mom. How dreadfully clever.
- I agree with you Kristy. "The members of the Baby-sitters Club would like to give our special moms a special gift" is dead corny.
- I know I uttered the phrase "he's gorgeous" when I was 13, but I don't really think a 13-year-old boy can really be gorgeous. Plus, either go out with Bart or don't, Kristy. This whole "we sort of like each other" thing is boring.
- "A math test with an E on the top?" What the hell kind of grade is E? Is it some fake-y grade between D and F to make kids feel better about themselves while still failing?
- They're taking care of 21 fucking kids of different ages for an entire day. They really are fucking crazy.
- Actually, Jessi, I think it would be weirder if you knew Stacey and slept in her old bedroom.
- Foreshadowing of the McGill divorce!!!
- Stacey got a haircut: "I went to this really punk place and told the guy not to make it too punk." Why go to a punk place, then? Why not go somewhere sophisticated? Huh?
- Wow, Claud hasn't made a new best friend since Stacey left, what, a few months ago? Shocking!
- "I try hard not to be bossy, but after all, I am the president." Wow. Someone's a little full of herself.
- Mal: "Dad loves little kid. Why do you think there are eight of us?" Tiff: "Cause your mom lost her diaphragm? She's never heard of the pill?"
- To rememberize: "to remember something really well." Why does that need a special word? That's not what Urban Dictionary says it means, anyway.
- More outfits? Yes, please! "Stacey, however, put on a tight-fitting pink jumpsuit over a white T-shirt, lacy white socks, and those plastic shoes. What are they called--jellies? And Claudia wore a pale blue baggy shirt over black and blue leopard-spotted pants that tied in neat [as in cool? or as in tidy?] knots at her ankles. On her feet she wore purple high-tops. And they both wore all this jewelry and these accessories, like big, big earrings, and headbands with rosettes on them, and nail polish. Claudia even wore her snake bracelet." Wow. Practical outfits for chasing small children around.
- I hate the whole "Stacey can't stand the sight of barf" thing. Like anyone particularly likes looking at puke? I understand some people are pussies and run away rather than helping their drunk, puking friends, but it's not really something that needs to be explicitly stated.
- Blah, let's turn Jackie R. into a walking joke again.
- And more stupid public domain songs.
- Claud helps the BSCers who don't have younger sibs to make personalized brooches for Mom's Day. Yay.
- And Mary Anne decides to give her dad a Mother's Day gift (a book, because it's hard to buy for a man). I can't believe she never thought of that before.
- Conveniently, Watson explains to Andrew what adoption is off-screen.
- I have always remembered Dawn's weird made up lyrics to "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."
- For some reason, the book changes to present tense when describing Emily. [Why is she Emily sometimes and Emily Michelle sometimes?] It's really fucking weird.
And that's that! Hoorah! It's done!
[Before the hate mail starts, I'm not making fun of Mary Anne's lack of a mother or the fact that some girls may have identified with her Mother's Day awkwardness. I'm just making fun of the way that ANM just kind of throws it in there but never really deals with it...See?]
Don't know what I'm doing for next week. We'll all have to be surprised, I guess...