Sunday, September 30, 2007

He's mostly interested in girls; or, BSC Mystery #15: Kristy and the Vampires

Wow, this book was asstarded. Seriously. I know, I know, all the mysteries are pretty much dreadful, but that doesn't numb the pain caused by reading this shit opus.

Even the cover is stupid:

Yeah, this actually happens in the book (pg 115, for those checking). The witch? That's Claire, who's scaring the vamp so that it can't scare her anymore. (There's this whole thing about Claire being absolutely terrified of the "vampires" on the movie set. So, Kristy decides to "cure" her, and she and MA come up with a "solution." Claire can dress up as something scarier than a vampire, something that the vamps will be afraid of, so they won't bug her. Seems to me like that might actually make the problem worse and not really address her fear or whatever. Ugh.) Mary Anne actually looks fairly 1994. But Kristy? She looks FREAKY! And the quote monster strikes again! See how her shirt says "Little Vampires," quotes included? Lame. Plus, I think all the vamps in the movie are supposed to be kids or teenagers, not in their 30s. And dressed like kids, not Dracula. Yeah...

So, the really stupid plot. Yep...Well, they're shooting part of a TV movie in the 'Brook. Derek Masters is one of the stars, along with some more famous guy named Carson Fraser. The movie is called Little Vampires, and it has a stupid, clich├ęd plot (just like this book!). See, there's a foreign exchange student from Transylvania named Laddie Alducar [first name short for Vladimir, last name an anagram of Dracula...SO STUPID!!!!]. Turns out, he's a vamp and he's been sent to recruit kids to be vamps [Sorry, I've watched far too much Buffy and Angel, hence the overuse of the word "vamp.") But Laddie starts to be all sad, cause he's missing out on being a normal kid. Then more vamps show up to help with the recruitment drive, and there's a big action-y conflict scene before the happy ending, in which "Laddie ends up staying in America and becoming a normal kid." [But is he still a vampire? How does that work? Where does he live? There are more plot holes in the movie than there are in this lameass book.] And Kristy gets hired to watch Derek while he's on the set (and Claud gets hired to watch his kid brother Todd on the set when Todd's shooting--he's got a bit part). And there's tension between the Derek and Carson and all sorts of movie activities. And then there are a bunch of accidents which may or may not be aimed at Derek, but Kristy is convinced (and convinces the BSC) that Derek's in danger. So, they start to follow suspects and blah blah blah. And Kristy lucks upon the right suspect just in time to save Derek's life; this weird girl who's obsessed with Carson Fraser and cuts the brake lines in Derek's chauffeur's car in an attempt to keep Derek from outshining Carson. I'm still not entirely sure what her motivation was, or why she was trying to kill a little kid, but there ya go. Overly complicated plot? Check. The BSC finding a mystery where one may or may not actually exist? Check. Lots of red herrings? Check. The BSC opting to avoid police involvement, even when they think that someone's life is in danger? Check. Me wanting to put my head through the window? Check. Yep, it's a BSC Mystery.

  • "The Day I Found Out It Was Going to Be an Interesting Summer." Aw man, Kristy's caught a case of the caps!

  • Um, apparently David Michael's hair "has these soft little curls that are the envy of all my friends." What? Gotta love details thrown in tp give the characters more, well, character.

  • Kristy's dad "was never very involved as a parent, and I guess that's partly why he left--he just wasn't interested in being a daddy." I really hate how all that stuff about Kristy's dad just gets tossed off like that. Either leave it out, or at least kinda deal with it.

  • So, when did Karen and Andrew start living with Watson every other month? That seems even more complicated than the previous arrangement.

  • More "Nannie's a character" bullshit. "She goes bowling, to aqua-aerobics classes, poker tournaments--you name it, she does it." How about taxidermy? Bank robbery? Running a drug cartel? Just checking...

  • Kristy reads a Beetle Bailey comic strip to children. And they are apparently amused by it. I wasn't aware that anyone under the age of, like, 75, finds that shit amusing. And she reads a comic strip to them???

  • Heh. Mary Anne wonders if Cam Geary might be in the movie.

  • Oh, and they don't mention that's it a TV movie until a ways into the book.

  • Ever notice how the BSC are always running so they won't be late for meetings?

  • The movie's being shot in Stoneybrook because the Masters family suggested it "as the perfect small town setting."

  • Stacey "still has that urban flair." Kristy should totally write copy for the Newport News catalog.

  • Heh, Carson Fraser is on a show called Miami Beach, USA. As opposed to Miami Beach, Greenland, which is totally my favorite show.

  • Does a wardrobe lady really wear "a long gray smock with lots of pockets?"

  • There are lots of boring descriptions of how boring it is to be on set most of the time.

  • And apparently, they let anyone hang out and watch the shoot. Even when they're shooting inside the elementary school.

  • Kristy has finally found her scene! "I fit right in, fashion-wise...Just about everybody...wore jeans, or shorts, and ratty T-shirts. That outfit, plus maybe a baseball cap, was practically the uniform for the set."

  • Part of the tension on set comes from Derek pretty much always outperforming and outshining the movie's "star," THE Carson Fraser.

  • There is a shit ton of exposition about how Derek has grown a few inches and has gotten a bit clumsy. Seriously, like a page and a half of the book, just dedicated to that.

  • Actually, there's a ton of useless exposition pretty much all throughout this book. Whoopee.

  • Sheila Mayberry is the PR Bitch for the movie, and she's aiming to have everyone in Hollywood talking about the movie. Yes, the TV movie. That's right, the made-for-television movie.

  • The director gets pissed that Derek messes up a shot at the very end, and they'll have to reshoot it later. Did they only budget enough time for one take of each shot? For a movie with kids? I learned in Filmmaking I that you always budget for multiple takes.

  • I'm not sure why Kristy decides that she "owed it to Claire to help her get over her fear of vampires..." Ah, lack of believable motivation...In a BSC book? Never...

  • When Todd's thirsty during one of Derek's scenes, Mrs. Masters tells him to go get a soda. Todd is only four. Later, she tells Derek he can't have a cookie before noon. Someone's not very consistent.

  • Accident #1: Todd breaks the glass that was supposed to be the breakaway glass from Derek's scene! Only it's real glass! Derek could've been seriously injured! The propmaster gets booted over that one.

  • Kristy talks her way into one of the production offices, and some woman shows her receipts and paperwork and shit. The fuck????!!!!??? Who's gonna let some random kid take a look at production paperwork? And don't they have a production secretary or something similar who'd be in the office? Argh!

  • The scenes between Carson and his manager are like watching Entourage, Jr.

  • The only thing clumsier than Derek is the foreshadowing in this book. Slam!

  • Accident #2: Derek's stuntwoman's harness breaks during a stunt! And she falls! And Derek would've been doing that stunt if it weren't for Accident #1!

  • Oh, the crazy Carson girl? She wears a rose in her buttonhole every single day. Because she's actually an old-timey gentleman. Or, I'm guessing, because she's fucking crazy.

  • Kristy opens an envelope addressed to Derek. Her excuse? "Now, ordinarly [sic] I would never open somebody else's mail, but in this case, something told me that I should." And lucky for her hunch, it's a threatening note for Derek! Blah, she tells his mom, who tells his agent, and they both tell her not to worry. But she does anyway! And now it's a mystery! For the BSC to solve!

  • Stupid emergency meetings.

  • Of course, it never occurs to any of them to CALL THE FUCKING POLICE if they think some kid's life is actually in danger!

  • At least sixty people on set? At least is right!

  • I think Shannon is the least insane member of the BSC. Sure, she has her moments, too, but she's generally the most reasonable member of the crew.

  • Is there really a perfect day for blowing bubbles? I think any day is a perfect day for blowing bubbles.

  • I'm really not feeling this whole Charlotte=detective persona. I really don't buy it.

  • The three motels on the outskirts of the 'Brook? The George Washington, the Sleepy Bear and the Kozy Kabins. The first sounds like a B&B, the second sounds like a hunting lodge in Montana, and the third sounds like budget accommodations in the Poconos. Why not a Holiday Inn? A Best Western? Why always trying to be clever?

  • Heh. Cokie Mason's totally trying to get in Carson's pants, even acting all buddy-buddy with Kristy on set.

  • "Cokie minced up to us on white high-heeled sandals. She was wearing a white, ruffly peasant blouse that was pulled off her shoulders and a pink flowered skirt. She looked ridiculous." That doesn't sound any more ridiculous than most (all?) of Claudia's outfits, and quite a few of Dawn's and Stacey's, too.

  • So, Cokie throws a party for the entire cast and crew (obviously trying to get Carson to show--and he totally doesn't! Burn!)...And everything is decorated in pink, Cokie included. And everybody gets food poisoning!!! Hee!

  • "Claudia was looking great in a loose, flowery jumpsuit." I don't think there's enough fire to burn that image out of my head. [I'm picturing a floral version of Janeane Garofalo's jumpsuit when she was the B-Minus Time Traveler on The Ben Stiller Show, just so you know.]

  • Seriously, why would some company voluntarily just give info about their customers to a bunch of nosy girls?

  • Carson's manager looks like a villain, "since he always wore black and loved to puff on those huge cigars." Do you ever get the feeling that the BSC learned everything they know from movies that would show on Turner Classic Movies?

  • No, Kristy, trespassing in someone's trailer is not a "great idea." It's a fucking stupid idea. A really fucking stupid idea.

  • Yeah, Kristy goes snooping in Carson's trailer.

  • Ah, the director likes Mal's look, sending us all into a collective flashback to California Girls. Even the ghostwriter got sucked into that vortex.

  • After an uneventful week, Kristy starts to think the "mystery" was all in her head.

  • They get all "what if we don't solve the mystery before he goes back to California? We can't protect him there!" News flash! You probably really couldn't protect him if a real criminal was after him, not just some crazy fangirl!

  • In fact, the BSC are dealing with the dumbest "criminal" ever, as she highlights the relevant evidence in a book and drops it in a convenience store.

  • The climax and resolution here really are the stupidest set of coincidences ever. It's not really "solving" a mystery if you luck upon the crime and the criminal just by being there and being paranoid. Just sayin'.

  • Oh, and she wants to kill the kid for stealing scenes from her stalkee. The hell?

  • She winds up in "Hidden Acres, a private Massachusetts facility for emotionally disturbed adolescents." Hidden Acres, eh? Perhaps yet another fictionalization of McLean?

  • Oh, yeah. The Masters fam hires Dawn to set-sit for Derek in Cali. Wooo.

  • The book ends with a really lame "memory book" with all sorts of news clippings about the movie. Yippee.

Dude, this one was painful. Really, really terrible. I think maybe I died a little inside while reading it. It was that bad.


Olivia said...

Shouldn't Jessi be the one babysitting for Derek? Don't they have a "special bond"?

Carrie said...

Hey there!

I don't know if you have "Little Miss Stoneybrook...and Dawn" but if you don't I'd be happy to donate it for the cause. :D

Christine said...

Karen and Andrew start living with Watson every other month in one of the Little Sister books. I think it was called "Karen's Two Houses" or something like that.

Anonymous said...

Hee, B- Minus Time Traveler! God I love The Ben Stiller Show. The mental image of a flowery, oversized jumpsuit makes my head hurt as well.

Wasn't Little Vampires an actual movie that kid from Jerry Maguire was in, or am I thinking of something else?

Stephanie said...

//"Cokie minced up to us on white high-heeled sandals. She was wearing a white, ruffly peasant blouse that was pulled off her shoulders and a pink flowered skirt. She looked ridiculous."//

I actually think that sounds kinda cute...

I don't think I ever read this one when I was still into the BSC. Looks like I didn't miss out on much.

mushi said...

Out of all the cover pictures of Kristy, they had to pick THAT one to chuck on the corner of every BSC book?!?!!

Anonymous said...

seriously, beetle bailey???

megan said...

was little vampires out when the book was written? cuz wasn't that the plot of the movie? or something like that. i haven't watched it in like ten billion years.

KaveDweller said...

The dumbest thing about this book as that the Masters' hire Kristy because they need someone on set with Derek and don't want to do it themselves. So how would a 13-year-old help? I would think labor laws would require an actual adult to be there.

The second dumbest thing is how everyone acts like some kids TV movie is the thing everyone in Hollywood will be talking about.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if the ghostwriter got her idea from Robin in "Batman" and how his parents were killed by a bad guy while they performing in a circus...
This book was terrible...i remember thinking that when I read it as like, a 10 year old.

amanda said...

Its so odd the things that I remember. For the first half of this review I would have sworn I hadn't read this mystery. But alas, I distinctly remember Kristi happening to wear the same "uniform" as the crew members, Beetle Bailey and the breakaway glass. But not the actual book or plot. Hmmmm.

Lisa said...

Is this the one where they all talk about stupid set abbreviations? Like special effects is written "FX!!!" or something. What book is that? It's totally still in my head.

Margie said...

Anyone have a picture of this "B-Minus Time Traveler" thing? I'm dying to know what it looks like.

John said...

My first post here. Just have to say I *LOVE* this place. I've got tears in my eyes from laughing so hard right now. Dibbly-fresh! Keep up the good work!

I don't remember much about this book. I know I read it because I inexplicably loved the mysteries when I was little. But I remember absolutely NOTHING about this book! And though I'm guessing it doesn't come through too much in this book, I just have to say Kristy is the biggest control freak EVER!! Take some Xanax and chill out Kristy! You're gonna have a breakdown by the age of 15 at this rate! I hated that she always had to call "Emergency BSC Meetings" when basically she was just freaking out about whatever. Why not just say "We've got a problem on our hands, let's hook up and talk about it, girls!"

BTW I hate Karen, too. And pretty much all the rest of the clients as well. But mostly Karen.

You should review Super Mystery #1: Baby-Sitter's Haunted House, if you get the chance. It's a doozy. Kristy, Dawn, Claudia and Mary Anne go on vaca to some New England town, leaving Mal and Jessi to run the BSC back home and they nearly ruin the business. Meanwhile Claudia openly flirts with some 19 year old gardener - and he flirts back! That's pretty much the only thing that's actually creepy about the book. It's a riot.

Anonymous said...

I'm not going to request a book, because lately you've been reading my mind and reviewing ones I've never read...but stay out of my head between 9 and 10pm, that's my time!


It's funny though that the BSC dissed Cokie's outfit when...well, Claudia could wear a garbage bag and they would say she looked dibbly fresh, and Cokie could wear a Versace gown and they would say she looked like a douche.

If any of my friends dressed like Claudia, I might have to pull them aside and say, "What the FUCK are you wearing?!"

And then I wouldn't let myself be seen with them


P.S. My word verification has the word poo in it...teeheehee

Anonymous said...

...and people are still requesting books, even when you said you didn't like it...

veronica said...

This was the first mystery I read where I figured out the ending before waaay before they did. It was a sad sad day for me, solving a mystery before the BSC.

I loved the mysteries as a kid, but even then I never liked this one. You pretty much hit the nail on the head with everything you said about it!

Henri said...

God, I love this blog. Please don't stop. Don't ever stop.

I never actually read this one, though I was addicted to the BSC from my very first book, Boy-Crazy Stacy.

I hated the mysteries, but your recaps are well worth the tedious half-hours spent trying to get my BSC fix as a kid.

john said...

"...and people are still requesting books, even when you said you didn't like it..."

Sorry, didn't know about that! If I keep posting I may occasionally bring up other books if the one that is reviewed reminds me of it. But I'll make sure not to request one (or on this case, merely suggest one) again! Am I going to have to write a 2 page essay on the word decorum now?

And the word 'fux' is in my word verification. Hehe.

Anonymous said...

"Dude, this one was painful. Really, really terrible. I think maybe I died a little inside while reading it. It was that bad."

Rofl! :D

I never really cared much for the mysteries, either, but there are a few that I like: Mary Anne and the Secret in the Attic, Stacey and the Mystery Money. But most of them are really boring.

chris said...


I never read the mysteries. I think they were around when I was the target reading audience for the BSC, but I wasn't as interested in missing jewels as I was in Stacey's LUV-life.

So my question is: Are the Mysteries considered a separate entity? I mean, not that Ann is a big stickler on consistencies anyway, but did what happened in Mystery-brook relate to anything that happened in regular old BSC Stoneybrook? Like, did Dawn go back to California in the Mysteries, or was only in the BSC books?

Anonymous said...

The mysteries take place in the same universe; they are consistant with all of the normal BSC books' inconsistancies.

Lark said...

Funny, I just read this one yesterday and wasn't a fan. Most of the mysteries are pretty stupid, but I found this one boring as well.

Michelle said...

"Am I going to have to write a 2 page essay on the word decorum now?"

Nope, just a 100 word one. And you have to end it with "The end" :D

I've read these books too damn much.

Stephanie said...

what drove me nuts about this book is how everyone could just come and go from the movie set. Kristy walked up to someone, asked where the friggin' star was, and they told her. wtf? i used to live near LA, and they were filming an episode of Alias two blocks from where I lived. i could just see asking where Jennifer Garner was, and being allowed to wander around.

yeah. this book was insanely stupid.

Moi said...

Okay, can someone please let me know how you pronounce Cokie's name, it is driving me crazy! Is it pronounced "cook-ee" or "coke-ee"?

Ali said...

This seems like such a dark read, what with the cut car brakes and the girl ending up in a mental home haha.

I clearly remember the real glass substituted in for breakaway glass because it's what clued me into the special effects of movies.

kiwimusume said...

Oh dear GOD. I'm sure I saw this book around when I was still reading the BSC, but even I wouldn't touch that one. I could tell by the cover that it was fucking lame.

Um...if Claire is so scared of the vampires, what is she doing on the fucking movie set in the first place? Did she get a bit part too?

Oh God, the quote marks!!! That cracks my shit up every time.

Am I the only one who finds that description of DM's "soft little curls" kind of creepy? Especially since he's her biological brother...O_o

Every time I read about the "Nannie's a character" stuff, I think of the pants.

Oh God. What a pile of suck this book sounds like. Normally when you review a book I haven't read I want to go to Thriftbooks and buy it out of morbid curiosity, but this one was beyond even that.

Anonymous said...

hehe... I cracked up the entire time I was reading this. I was OBSESSED with the BSC -- My mom would get me the 4-packs from Sam's club, and I'd read them in like, an hour.

Adenine said...

Is it just me, or does Kristy's left leg in that picture look REALLY odd? It's like her femur is a foot longer than it should be.

Margie said...

Yes, the mysteries are canon. Dawn and the Halloween Mystery takes place while she's in California, and I want to say that the house one she's in is also in California? The regular series and the mysteries reference each other on occasion.

And it's Coke-ee, like the soda.

Anonymous said...

It is kind of believable that Hollywood might wet themselves over a kids' TV movie...just look at High School Musical. But 13-year-old babysitters just sort of wondering around the set? That's definitely less plausible. In fact, one might go so far as to place that in the "oh hell no" classification of things that might happen.

Robin Wilson said...

I think I skimmed this entry the first time around and thought the plot of the movie was part of the plot of the book and almost went apeshit.

I also hate that Derek's parents hire Kristy. Why the hell didn't they come on the set? I am sure they are taking some of his royalties.

comicstar said...

Actually, there is at least one other Miami Beach, here in Perth, Western Australia. But I can't imagine it making a more fasciating TV show than Miami Beach, Greenland, seeing as it's populated mainly by old people and bogans...

colleenn said...

This was one of the few mysteries I actually owned. I must've forgotten how incredibly stupid it was though. It's really weird what you remember from books... I can totally remember the breakaway glass, Kristy snooping in Carson's trailer, and Kristy going into this big long detail about how great an actor Derek was because of this look of fear he does when he gets grabbed by a vampire in a scene... that always bothered me because it never seemed all that special.

And I think that movie Little Vampires came out well after this book. Jerry Maguire was 1995, and Little Vampires was after that. This book is probably 1994-ish, right? Plus, I remember when I'd see commercials for Little Vampires that I'd think of this book and wonder why they'd want to rip off a stupid BSC plot.

Anonymous said...

Yay! An update! Derek Masters is back? Again? Does he always appear whenever there's a mystery?

Of course, it's Kristy being an asshat again, jumping to conclusions, trying to act like Nancy Drew, etc.

I've recently read a BSC Mystery book: Stacey's Secret Friend? Not sure what the title is, but it's about some geek at SMS who is always made fun of. I read it a while ago, so I don't remember much of it.

Anyhoo. I don't think I've read this one before, and I don't think I ever will. Nice job!

Anonymous said...

Stacey's Secret Friend, although lame enough to be a Mystery, is actually part of the regular series.

I feel for the important fact that this is taking up memory instead.

Anonymous said...

I used to work for Newport News... in another 30 years when the girls turn 18, I'm sure that they'd make great NN models!$417x521$

kiwimusume said...

Stacey's Secret Friend, although lame enough to be a Mystery, is actually part of the regular series.

Oh God, Stacey was such a fucking annoying, patronising bitch in that book. I was cheering when Tess finally told her to fuck off.

Artemis said...

Stacey's Secret Friend was a new low. Even for Stacey.

I found a movie called "Little Monsters" from the 80s and "The Littlest Vampire" with the kid from Jerry McGuire made in 2000. Meh, kid vampires are lame. Unless they're from "Salem's Lot." Or unless they're hot teen "Lost Boys" style vampires. Mmmm, Kiefer Sutherland.

Anonymous said...

"Am I the only one who finds that description of DM's "soft little curls" kind of creepy? Especially since he's her biological brother...O_o"

Yeah, pretty sure you are...exactly what is so creepy about that?

Anonymous said...

Ah, the curls. That was freaky. Not sure if it's as freaky as Mal's "I Love Kids!" sweatshirt.

Jess said...

No she's not! I think it's creepy too. Who notices stuff about their brothers? But then, I've hated David Michael since book one. He's like my Karen. Why no nickname, AMM? Sam, Charlie, Kristy, and no Dave? No Dave-Mike? DM? pleh.

stephanie said...

"The scenes between Carson and his manager are like watching Entourage, Jr."

HA! Awesome.

Epione said...

Hated this book - so stupid! It was frustrating to read.

But I have to confess that I did spend a week after reading it trying to put flowers into my buttonholes like the psycho girl did.

Anonymous said...

All right then...three people find it creepy. Sorry, just don't understand how a description of HAIR merits that, but by all means...

Anonymous said...

Oh come on anonymous, I request a book not because I WANT Tiff to write about it, but so we can have some fun bitching around. And I'll be glad to "request" a book with every posting of mine. But thanks to you we have our own watchdog in this blog, or maybe you worship Mary Anne and are trying to be miss goody two shoes? Cute!

kiwimusume said...

AMEN! I'm glad someone else feels that way too!

The requests I made were more recommendations than anything else. I'd read a gigantic pile of suck and thought it might make her laugh her ass off the way I did.

Also, are you the same Anonymous who got in a tizzy about my comment on David Michael's hair? 'Cause I'm getting the same "got out of bed on the wrong side" vibe off of both of you. It makes me think of that scene in one of the Gymnasts books where all the Pinecones come over to Jodi's house to make sure she gets out of bed on the right side.

Anonymous said...

No, kiwimusume. I'm not the one who made the comment about requesting the books, but I DID make the comment about the hair. And no, I did not get into a "tizzy" over it but if you'd like to believe so than feel free. I just get a little tired of people reading something pervy into stuff like this. Someone said something similar about Sergeant Johnson awhile ago and how he must be a "kiddie-fiddler." Maybe some people find humor in that but personally I don't and it's not because I LACK a sense of humor; I'm all about the snark as much as the next person, trust me. It's just that saying those sorts of things about such innocuous details strikes me as ridiculous and unnecessary. But whatever. I don't expect many to agree with me, so carry on...

John said...

"Nope, just a 100 word one. And you have to end it with "The end" :D"

LOL How could I forget! Doh!

nancy said...

woah!!! everyone needs to chill out!

I can't BELIEVE Kristy actually told Derek's mum when she 'found' the threatening note. Screw the vamps, that was the most unbelievable part of the book.

Anonymous said...

From this book I learned that movies are not shot sequentially. (Is that the right word?) Also, isn't there another mystery that takes place on a train that also has Derek in it. It really does feel like he shows up in a lot of mysteries.

PS. I always thought David Michael was a little pathetic, and I always felt bad for him, especially in the Little Sisters series. He always had to hang around with annoying Karen. So I've always had a soft spot for him.

Michelle said...

The movie came out in 2000:
it was based off of a series of little vampire probably the ghost writers ripped off those books.

Anonymous said...

So, when did Karen and Andrew start living with Watson every other month? That seems even more complicated than the previous arrangement.

It's so sad that I know this... I was waaay into the BSLS books as well as BSC when I was... 10? Karen and Andrew started living with Watson and Elizabeth every other month in Babysitter Little Sister book #48: Karen's Two Families...

Again, so sad that I know this... And I know I have no life... ah well. I just mosey along at my own pace :)

Carosp said...

Why would claire (pike) say that witches r scarier than vampires? if she freaked by vampires then shes even more freaked at witches! But she says shes not! So shes lying! if shes not scared of witches and their scarier han vampires than SHE MUST BE SCARED OF WITCHES! Dumbass.

Anonymous said...

Why does Kristy insist on dressing like a homeless man? Seriously, there were college bums in my town that were better dressed than this girl.

Katie Hennenlotter said...

This shit is funny. We could totally be friends.

Anonymous said...

Seriously you had me at the phrase "shIt opus". I'm still laughing!

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