Is it just me, or does Stacey actually look thirteen on the cover?
And I think that's supposed to be Charlotte, who's never even mentioned in the book...I have no idea who it could be otherwise, especially since Stacey doesn't actually babysit in this book. [Sweet.]
This book is totally plot-tatastic! What happens? Well, it all starts with RJ Blaser, Stoneybrook Middle School's star basketball player, hitting on Stacey by hitting her with a snowball (talk about mature!). Well, she goes out with him once, and meets all the cool kids (the "Group"). And she totally hits it off with a different basketball player, the infamous Robert. So, they start dating, and Stacey starts hanging out more with the popular kids, including the titular cheerleaders. And when there's an opening on the squad, Stacey auditions. But she doesn't make it, because she's too good and she'll make the others look bad. Oh, and there's this whole thing about the b-ballers and the c-leaders breaking rules and getting special privileges and shit. And Robert quits the basketball team in protest. Oh, and Stacey begins to see the BSC as more and more immature. Whee!
AND there's a subplot, but it's not terribly interesting, and it's a total stretch tying the subplot to the actual plot. See, Shannon's having some issues with her kid sisters. Tiffany has become mean and sullen and bitchy (hmm...something to do with the name perhaps?), and she's torturing their sis Maria. Turns out she's acting out cause Shannon's crazy achiever girl, and Maria's super-swimmer, and Tiff is just a fuck-up (I feel that, sister). But Mary Anne & Claud figure out that she needs a hobby, something that she loves and can actually do. So, flowers and plants. (And Stacey realizes that she doesn't really love being a cheerleader and she doesn't want it for the right reasons. Blah.)
Gimme a L-I-S-T!
- Since when does SMS have a popular crowd? And why have none of them EVER BEEN MENTIONED BEFORE????!!!!!! How friggin' big is their school anyway, that an entire (pretty sizable) group of kids has never come up before?
- I hate Stacey's capital letter affectation. You know, "the Group," "McGill Family Drama," "the Big Question," you get the idea. The totally fucking lame idea.
- Fashion on the first page? Yes, please! Stacey's wearing her "new plum-colored corduroy pants and white down jacket." Yeah, I can picture her in a white puffy coat.
- Seriously? Multiple guys who are over 6' in 8th grade? Don't think so...
- "Even I had started going to the games, and I'm no jock." Um, if you were a jock you would be playing a sport. Maybe you might want to rethink that sentence.
- Stacey thought that RJ was talking about fowls, not fouls. Because she's been smoking Claud's drug of choice?
- They go to see a movie called Mall Warriors II. It's kinda like Home Alone crossed with Dawn of the Dead. (That's the Romero set at the Monroeville Mall, right?)
- But when RJ "asks" Stacey out, he says it like this: "Did you see...the movie?...Good. We can see it Friday night. It's playing in town. Okay?" Somebody's a little full of himself.
- Um, Stacey's trying to say that (one) she's not boy-crazy, but merely "boy-interested" and (two) she's hard-up on the dating front. I call bullshit on both counts.
- Fuckin' "LUV."
- Her ridiculously high standards? Get this: "Just a gorgeous, smart, considerate guy who takes my breath away and happens to love me even more than I love him." The fuck?
- Dude, you're fucking thirteen--maybe lots of LIKE is what you're supposed to have, instead of LUV. You don't want to be that girl that only ever dates and then marries the guy she started dating at 13, do you?
- Also, Stacey seems a little more interested in dating RJ to get in with the in-crowd than actually dating the guy...Classy!
- Um, why not just say "likes" instead of this?
- The phrase "go steady" appears in this book many, many times. I haven't heard that phrase in many, many years.
- "I know it sounds weird, but I had an urge to go sit with Sheila. The Group seemed to be having such a great time at their table. Besides, boys were there, including RJ." Yep, Stacey's starting to get that itch to leave the BSCers.
- I really need to read the book where Mal gets mono. Cause I'm really, really curious HOW she got mono.
- Dawn's back in Cali in this book, and Mary Anne talks about her like she's dead. "Dawn loved blue chips." Sad face, puppy-dog eyes, etc.
- Claud was wearing "baggy wool men's pants, gathered at the waist by a black leather band [um, I think it's called a belt]; a white tuxedo shirt with rolled-up sleeves; Capezio-type flats with mismatched white and black socks; and a glittery bow-tie barrette in her hair. On someone else, the Look [fuckin' caps again] might be too formal, or just plain weird. On Claudia, it was fabulous." Doesn't sound too terrible, though it's a little Charlie Chaplin for my taste.
- Okay, RJ actually eats lunch with the BSC one day. Why?
- Stacey's big date outfit: "a black-and-white plaid unitard with tankstyle top, covered with a black, over-sized cotton knit jersey." I do not understand this outfit at all. And I can think of no more frightening combination of words in English than "plaid unitard."
- The date with RJ? Kind of a dud. Nothing in common, blah blah blah. But it's better when they run into the Group.
- She's afraid to tell him about her diabetes. She lets him think she's on a diet. And she lets him make fun of it, too. He's a charmer!
- Woo!!!! Stacey & RJ run into Sabrina Bouvier at the movies!
- Actually, RJ's pretty much a dick.
- Some of the Group make fun of the BSC, and it makes Stacey a little embarrassed.
- She really notices Robert while on the date with RJ. Like I said, classy!
- Apparently, Robert sets off a "Cute Alert. Four alarms." Um, cheese alert, all over my keyboard.
- Not cheesy enough? How about "a smile that should have had a DANGER sign on it."
- My single favorite part of this book? "I wondered what Corinne was thinking. What would I have thought if I were Corinne? Claud was rummaging around for snacks, wearing an outfit that suddenly seemed a little weird (a sequined vest over a man's white shirt and bell-bottomed spandex pants)." Weird? She's dressed like a reject Fly Girl! Also, Jessi is acting like a four-year-old, though Stacey says she's acting like an eleven-year-old.
- I didn't realize that the SMS teams were the Chargers.
- Somebody mocks the BSCers for having a sleepover. Heh. (Rightfully so, at least for calling it a sleepover.)
- Stacey's always worried that her new, popular friends will make fun of her for hanging with the BSC.
- The Group have a slang expression that doesn't really make any sense. A "nine-one-one." Yeah..."It's like calling nine-one-one because you're about to die from excitement? You know?" No, bitch, I don't know. That doesn't make any fucking sense. Especially since, used in a sentence, the phrase is used to describe a person. "Robert is a real nine-one-one." So fucking lame.
- Hee! Stacey's "definitely pretty enough" to be a cheerleader, according to some of the cheerleaders.
- "I'd never seen real live cheerleaders before I came to Stoneybrook. My school in New York City didn't have them. Cheerleading was frowned on. Girls preferred having their own teams to cheering for the boys." Wow, Stacey went to a progressive school in NY. Also, none of the other schools they played had cheerleaders? She's never been to a pro sports game? Or watched a parade?
- Stacey really only wants to make the squad because it's the cool thing to do at SMS.
- This is also the start of Stacey being late to meetings...Because she has better things to do.
- Stacey hates gym, cause it's in the middle of the day and she gets all gross...um showers? We had showers starting in middle school...
- "People have the wrong impression, just because they sit together and act like a clique. We sit together and we're not so bad." Thank you, Stacey, for pointing out (though inadvertently) that the BSC are just as exclusive as other cliques.
- I keep waiting for these girls to realize that you can have separate groups of friends and it's okay. They don't have to get along, and you don't have to hang out with them for the same reasons! Broaden your horizons, girls. Please. I'm bored of your little group dramas.
- Why does Stacey have Danskins?
- Jessi's a ballet dancer. Maybe she's not the best person to help you come up with a dance routine for cheerleading tryouts?
- I want to write for the Connecticut Journal of Hair Disorders. It sounds peer-reviewed. Maybe it'll count toward professional publishing?
- Stacey's all worried about a "hair kink" before her date with Robert. Yep. And her date outfit? She wears a "pair of new jeans with a brand-new white cotton cardigan with gorgeous floral embroidery and a scalloped, crocheted neckline. On my feet [not again] were suede ankle boots." I can't figure out if she's wearing a shirt under the cardigan or not. Racy?
- She's blown away, cause Robert wears cologne.
- Stacey decides to tell Robert about the whole diabetes thing, and he's really understanding. Cause he's perfect, remember?
- Tonight, in the CAGE OF FURY! MARY ANNE THE MEEK vs. TIFFANY THE TERRIBLE! Oh, wait. It's just Mary Anne's sitting job. Damn.
- Robert is a cool dancer. A fact which Stacey learns while at a rock concert in Stamford on a date. At thirteen.
- They double date with Mary Anne and Logan. Why doesn't that keep happening in the next book? It would make sense...
- Who knew Stacey was a born cheerleader? She's outshines everyone. Big surprise there. These girls never suck at anything.
- Claud thinks she'll talk Tiffany into being an artist. Way to force your own interests on someone there...
- There are competing editorials in the SMS paper...one pretty much saying Stacey and Robert are fuckers, and one (by Stacey and Robert) defending themselves. And it's all very out of place.
This lameass ending doesn't even begin to hint at the awesomeness to come.