Rereading this book, I discovered what might be the epitome of "even more boring to read about than it is to watch." [Even worse than NASCAR, RNL.] Synchronized swimming. Yep.
Even the cover is boring.
See?
The people in the background are seriously freaking me out, though. Are they kids? Adults? I just can't tell. And there are some rad hats in the audience. Oh, and Jessi's supposed to be the graceful half of the pair, but white girl's form seems a little better here. Her name is Elise.
Yeah, so this is another book that tries to make up for its sheer dullness by adding far too many inane subplots. Just a warning. I'll try to muddle through it for you. [Look at me, being all self-sacrificing...]
It's spring and it's hot. [Fuck you! It's October and it's hitting 90 here. Sorry. Digression.] Jessi wants a pool. Instead, her fam decides to get a membership at the Stoneybrook Pool Complex. And then there's the upcoming SMS Sports Festival; everybody but Mary Anne and Mallory want to compete in an event. And the gym classes are doing a swimming unit, so each class walks over to the pool to go swimming. (Outdoors. In the spring. In New England. Don't care how warm the air is, that pool better be heated.) Um, and during the first swimming class, the synchro [That's what the cool kids call it. And by cool, I mean really lame.] coach spots Jessi's dance training and asks her if she wants to join the synchro team. Jessi's into it [what a hobby slut!], and even has to switch her lunch period around. And she gets partnered up with Elise, who's a swimmer of the racing persuasion. And they're all going to be in the Sports Festival as a team, then the pairs will compete against each other. Follow me so far? Well, they're working hard, and if this were a movie, there'd totally be a training montage with some sort of peppy power-pop. Meanwhile, the other girls are trying to figure out what they're competing in, and Kristy challenges Alan Gray to the obstacle course. Oh, and because the Summer Olympics are going on (during the fucking spring, while school is still in session, cause...likely), and all the kids in town are kind of obsessed, Jessi comes up with yet another "great" idea [that is actually monumentally dumb]. Yeah, the BSC decide to have a mini-olympics for the kiddies. And they're all giddy and over-enthusiastic, right? Oh, except for Charlotte and Becca. And Andrew, cause he can't do anything [perhaps because he's only 4????]. So, all this is going on, and Mal accidentally sprains her ankle while trying to pretend to sprain her ankle to get out of the Sports Festival instead just copping to the fact that she doesn't want to/is afraid to participate. And Charlotte and Mary Anne talk it out and decide that they're angry that they can't participate because they're klutzes/shy/whatever. Oh, and there are multiple chapters describing the sports festival, making me wish again for a montage. And Kristy beats Alan. And Mary Anne works the refreshments. And Jessi and Elise, who think they're gonna totally lose, win the gold medal. Of course. Um, and the mini-olympics are a success. And Jessi and Elise both decide that neither really loves synchro. Elise is never heard from again. The end.
I think that's all the big stuff that happened. Here's the little stuff:
- I think every other Jessi book starts with Jessi in ballet class. And then she doesn't have anymore for the rest of the book.
- Oh, this is the book with the sweating vs. glowing cage match.
- One of Jessi's heroes is Misha Baryshnikov. Apparently, they're so tight she calls him by his nickname. [From his IMDB bio: "Boyishly cute, diminutive and strong as a bull, but as graceful as any gazelle or swan, Mikhail Baryshnikov is a household name even to non-balletomanes." Heh.]
- "Gracefool" does not equal "graceful" with a French accent.
- Actually, Jessi, your professional career would not last the rest of your life. Just sayin'.
- First on the list of things that come with being a pro 'rina? "Watching what I eat. (Have you ever seen a fat ballerina?)." You'd think she'd be working on that already.
- Jessi's dad laughs like Darth Vader. I mean, James Earl Jones.
- Is a/c really bad for dancers? It's better than getting dehydrated when it's really hot. And I've never been to a ballet performance that wasn't climate-controlled.
- Kristy wears her visor backwards at the BSC meeting.
- Jessi knows the word "dietetic," but she eats two bowls of cereal for breakfast? I'm so confused.
- Ah, an outfit: "At that meeting, [Claudia] was wearing these sharply creased, pastel-green [sometimes, I think they just throw in random hyphens to fuck with me], cuffed shorts; a wild Hawaiian shirt tied at her waist, with vibrant colors that perfectly picked up the green [but those colors shall remain nameless, to hide their shame]; and sandals with crisscrossing ankle straps to her knees [how many fucking sandals like that does she have?!?!?]. Her hair was swept to one side and held in place with a long, fake-flowered barrette that looked like a Hawaiian lei."
- I always forget that supposedly, Dawn's house was a stop on the Underground Railroad.
- Oh, yeah. All that "gross" food that Dawn eats. Like "whole wheat, unsalted sesame crackers." That's the best you could do? Not seaweed, or steamed lentil loaf or something that at least looks a little odd? Crackers that sound like they'd be delicious? Especially with hummus? Probably not a good example.
- If Jessi goes pro, she's going to move to New York. Shocker!
- The Sports Festival is mostly track and swimming. Two sports which will never be mentioned again. Cause it's the 'Brook.
- The BSC are all shocked that Mary Anne doesn't want to get involved in Festival. Because they've never, ever met her before.
- Claud wants to find an event that's "not too embarrassing." Huh? [Then, she goes and enters the "backward race," which is totally a fake sport.] What would be embarrassing? The "naked run?" The "confess your love while tripping over hurdles" race? The "match the kid with the STD" contest? I don't get it.
- Blah, Alan's a jerk, he's immature, crush on Kristy...[yawn].
- They're really taking entire gym classes and making them walk to the pool complex? And, conveniently, it's only a five minute walk each way? Still, permission slips? Liability? Anyone?
- OH MY GAWD!!!! THE BOYS AND THE GIRLS HAVE SWIMMING CLASS TOGETHER!!! AND MAL'S WEARING A BABYISH BATHING SUIT!!!! IT'S THE FOURTH HORSEMAN!!!! THE WORLD IS ENDING!!!!!
- Jessi thinks she flunked her swimming test so badly that she'll be put in..."remedial swimming." The fuck?
- Becca gave each other "high-fives, low-fives, and as many different kinds of fives as [they] could think of." I miss Scrubs; the Todd would've come up with some awesome fives.
- This book is full of "startling revelations" and "Maybe there was something I could do about it..." moments of fake drama. Fork...pointed...at...eyeball...
- The stakes in the Kristy-Alan showdown? A week of 'personal service'...Um, yeah. That could be...um...dirty...if one's mind took it in that direction. Which mine totally didn't. Not even close. No internal jokes about blowjobs in the broom closet during study hall. Nope, none at all.
- Again with "I was expecting an easy job" whining.
- I will not repeat really stupid pun-innuendos. I will not do it.
- I have never thought that synchronized swimming looked easy.
- Why are they all so pushy in this book? They're all about trying to get the holdouts to join the sporty fun.
- Fuckin' Claud. Extpretion is nothing at all like the word "expression."
- There's a fake Olympic coach named "Spuds Diamond."
- Okay, so the Sports Festival is on a Wednesday, right? And there are tons of parents there to watch the competitions. Don't they have to work? Can all these people duck out all day in the middle of the week to watch a stupid sports thing? Can I work there?
- Since when does Kristy sprint? And why isn't she on the track team if she's that fast?
- Oh, yeah. I think Claud thinks the Sports Festival is a fashion show: "She was wearing electric-pink track shorts with a turquoise racing stripe, a matching top with cut-off sleeves, brand-new high top track shoes with no socks, and floral-print suspenders." And a barrette shaped like the Olympic logo. I don't even know where to start. That outfit is too tacky for the Fly Girls, back in, like, 1990.
- No, Mal. Nothing in this book even remotely qualifies as exciting.
- And ladies? Kristy's had a ton of shit ideas. You just ignore those.
- They have all these consolation prize type awards for the kids at the mini-olympics, and they're so full of shit.
- Kristy is a bitch. During her week of "personal service," she makes Alan call her ma'am.
- Ever notice that none of the BSC 'rents ever say, "No, you can't have fifty million children over here. I will not be responsible for that many kids in my yard."
A little bit of wisdom from this book? "You know, they're just kids, but sometimes you can really learn things from them." And sometimes, you're just projecting. And sometimes, you're trying to drag a lesson out of a really stupid story. The end.
Next week, I think I'm going to do Get Well Soon, Mallory! Mainly because I want to make terrible mono jokes.
***
Also, if I were to write something BSC-related beyond this blog, like an essay or a book or something like that, what would you want my opinionated ranting to be about? Throw some stuff out there...
124 comments:
First comment!
I hated this book when I was little...I was a swimmer and it pissed me off that they could win without any past experience
Hilarious blog
Wow! You actually reviewed a BSC book that remember reading! Excellent blog, as usual. I'm patiently waiting for the day when you review "Starring the Baby-sitters Club" because that one sucked all kinds of crap.
Ah, memories ...
Oh this book...I was on a swim team from 3rd-12th grade and someone gave me this book because of that...and it pissed me off how they just portrayed it totally wrong! Yeah, hated this one...Jessi usually irritated me...not because she was black, because she was annoying.
How goddamn long was this book? There are a million plots.
Andrew was six...I think
Don't ask how I remember that
There's no room in my brain for me to remember important stuff because of all the BSC things I remember
Ahhh...montages
I love the one on South Park
Niceeeee reviewing =]
nah, andrew was four :)
I remember karen and her bitchiness bragging about how seven was soo much better than four.
You could write an essay about how Ann Martin's character's never act their age. 13 year olds with steady boyfriends? 4 year olds on a softball team with 10 year olds? 11 year olds that can be resposible for other children (Oh, but only during the day. Because a child could never choke/drown/die before 8pm)
definitely not my favorite!--you should definitely do the one where Jessi actually goes to NYC to try out professional dancing--I dont remember what its called but its #115 (please dont ask me how I can remember things like that)--anyways that ones hilarious!
thanks as always for the blog!
~Ellie
I was in the equivalent of remedial swimming in 7th grade. I was such a bad swimmer that they put me into the "beginners" section, meaning I wasn't allowed to go in anything deeper than 4 feet. And four feet isn't very much when you're six feet tall.
And wtf, Claudia wasn't wearing socks? Blisters, much?
This book was just tedious. I only read it once. I think most Jessi books are tedious though.
PS: I HAAAATE having to do word verification and prove I'm human when I have an account I'm logged into! AGH!
I don't know if A/C is officially "bad" for dancers, but in all my years of ballet I never took class in a studio that was kept cool in the summer. You get really really disgustingly sweaty by the end. I think the theory is that you can drink water to keep hydrated (and promptly sweat it out), but that A/C can be dangerous because it might cool your muscles down (there can be a lot of standing around during centre practice). Climate control in theaters is for the audience's benefit, not the dancers'.
Still, that's like one thing they got right about Jessi's training out of the 359238402 other things they got heinously wrong.
I doubt you could use this topic for an entire book, but I always enjoy your snarky analyses of the girls' terrible outfits. Some of them are so atrocious, I cannot fathom how ANYONE would think they were a good idea. Now I'm wondering if there was any basis for them at all... perhaps I should see if my grandmother has some old copies of Vogue from the 1980s....
I actually remembered this book fondly, but I don't know why. I'm not that into sports and it sounds like it wouldn't be on my favorites list based on how you described it. Huh.
The one thing I remember most strongly from this book is the sweating vs. glowing! I think that is the thing I remember MOST out of ALL the BSC books ever. In all seriousness. And I have no clue why.
i clearly remember how mal's suit was all gross and ruffled. also, when becca was wearing a white suit which she had colored with markers, jessi was all, "omg don't think we are so bourgeois as to have purchased becca a brightly-colored suit! it's really just plain white!" which made me feel guilty for having a brightly colored, patterend suit.
after reading this and the girltalk synchronized swimming book, i totally practiced in the pool in my backyard. uhh.
Tiff, I love this blog!
I remember the cover, I remember that for a long while I was convinced that I could become a champion synch swimmer (read it around some Olympics or other, I think the Barcelona ones...), but can't remember any of the plot. Really got to get a hold of my old books!
Loved this week’s review, so funny.
I think you should write an essay on “Why Kristy Thomas is gay”
Nah, I think the one lesbo in the BSC is Abby. Kristy at least made out with Bart a couple of times, but remember Abby in "Abby's Un Valentine"?
oh yeah tru, but what about Kristy + Bart = ?
Oh man, there are so many things you could write about if you wanted to extend BSC Bitchiness beyond this blog :D
Personally I love the way you can shoot down how great each BSC member thinks she is. So if you could somehow incorporate how great/arrogant they all are, that would be awesome ;) And there are plenty of bitchy fights/lack of listening skills to focus on.
Excuse my whacko typing, I'm hyped up on caffeine!
Oh my gosh, I totally remember the "sweat v. perspire v. glow" speech! AWESOME! I love your blog. It always makes me laugh!
I havent read this book - and from the sounds of it, I should be grateful!
I vote for a "Case Study of homosexuality in Stoneybrook: Kristy Thomas" essay
What about an essay on the time warp? How they never age, and have a billion Easters a year
The fashion sense? Were they all blind?
But I like the ideas for the gay Kristy/many other characters sending out gay vibes essay or how the characters don't act their age
You-mentioned-Scrubs-in-the-blog five!
Scrubs rules. You know it's still on, right? One more season left.
I remember the sweat v. glow thing too!! I didn't know what book it was in, but it sounds so familiar.
You could write about how th books changed from being slightly realistic in the early books (they all acted more 12/13, the parents were mentioned, they etc. to being completely crazy in later books where they all acted like they were adults so much older than the kids they say for and never needed parental guidance. Oh, and who went on a millions awesome vacations and could solve murder mysteries.
Jessi actually seemed like the most normal one.
That's kinda scary, considering the weirdness in this book.
This book was really confusing.
Oh, I know Scrubs is coming back, but I think there's still a couple weeks left.
I loved Starring the BSC when I was younger (where they do the play of Peter Pan). Other than that one, I'd love for you to do your "rantings" about Sweet Valley high...nothing says lame like those books!
I remember the sweat vs. glow! I think I even used that term last week, I can't believe I got it from this book!
From what everyone has said, I definetly think you can create an entire book on the inconsistencies of the series, there's so much.
And, of course, the blog is awesome! I look forward to reading it every Monday morning when I get to work! Thanks!
You could also run a snark-blog about Nancy Drew. I switched over to those after I started to outgrow the BSC. Also, anyone remember Sleepover Friends by Susan Saunders? Those were impossibly retarded - Saunders (and her ghost writers) must have been chummy with the BSC ones. 4th and 5th graders riding bikes into downtown? Whatever!!!
Walking to a complex for a gym class isn't actually out of the norm. In high school, we had to walk a few blocks to get to the tennis courts for gym. Which meant we played for about 10 minutes, between walking each way and the locker room.
I've always half-heartedly considered writing something about how the BSC problems seemed relatively demure compared to the California Diaries; what, just because 8th grade classes are held in the high school building now their problem become so much darker (suicide, eating disorders, cancer...?) Or perhaps why don't any of those things come up in Stepford-brook? WHAT IS AMM SAYING ABOUT LA, IS IT A DEN OF SIN?
Something to that effect. Playing in my mind for, oh, about 6 years now and I still haven't done anything about it.
The BSC are all shocked that Mary Anne doesn't want to get involved in Festival. Because they've never, ever met her before.
Loved it - my favorite comment of the whole post.
I think my favorite BSC book of all time was the Winter Carnival one where they end up babysitting for another school's kids...cause that would happen in real life.
Oooh, the Sleepover Friends were awful. I have, like, 30 of those. I don't even know why I bought them. They were completely an off-brand BSC. There was the added benefit that you didn't have to struggle through (or skip past) vast portions of the booked ruined by tales from babysitting. That said, the Sleepover Friends were so bad but such a guilty pleasure. I love the one where Patti's cool cousin from CA comes to visit and much is made of her "rubber mini." And the chick who dressed in red, white, and black.
Anyone got a detailed description of just how ass-ugly Mal's suit was? I haven't been horrified in a while and I think this just might do the trick.
As for a greater work on themes ... the impact the BSC books has/had on the rearing of American youth. If you think about it ... alot of chicks who read the early ones are now procreating ... I wonder how many of them are out looking for 13 year old uber-sitters to effectively raise their kids for them while staying eternally 13 ...
I agree - an essay about how unrealistic the behaviors of the BSC are for their age is wonderful.
May I suggest for a future reading "Kristy and the Secret of Susan"? It's a fabulous little work where Kristy babysits a girl who is severely autistic (and also lucky enough to be a savant - she can play piano and has memorized a perpetual calendar) and currently in-between boarding schools. Kristy is convinced that if she can just "fix" Susan, Susan's parents won't send her away. Chaos and dissapointment ensue!
That is something else you could write about....all the "very special episode" books. An autistic kid, a deaf kid, a kid with Leukemia, etc. I think there was a child abuse book too.
i would totally read something else you wrote!
and i was sorry that Elise was never mentioned again. she seemed pretty cool. but, of course, the BSC members are totally not allowed to have friends outside the club.
To whoever mentioned Sleepover Friends and the rubber mini, check this out:
http://thedairiburger.wordpress.com/2007/10/08/rubber-minis-or-sleepover-friends-4-pattis-new-look/
In "Jessi and the Dance School Phantom", she also calls Mikhail Baryshnikov "Misha"...
Yay! I used to love "Get Well Soon, Mallory!" for some reason...and then after reading it, every time I felt really tired I was convinced I had mono.
opinionated ranting about Sweet Valley High would be AMAZING.
I too look forward to your posts-- many of my friends are now hooked and we patiently await your bitchiness/smarts every week.
I totally read Get Well Soon Mallory when I got mono. I only had to stay home for a week, though. I have no idea what kind of mono Mallory got that completely incapacitated her like that. My sister had mono, too, and it was worse than mine, but she stayed home, like, two weeks at most.
I'm glad that's the next book. So much to mock, especially when she tries to get kicked out of the club and the overly cheesy old folks' home plot.
pretty much the best thing i've ever read. you're awesome.
I love the Mallory book--for some reason it (along with Mary Ann's makeover) is the one I remember most vividly.
Jessi was always the most boring BSC member... Ugh reading about her dancing makes me want to poke my eyes out.
Just the thought of running shoes without socks gives me blisters.
Long time reader, first time commenter. :P
About 'remedial swimming'. My mind automatically went to the episode of The Simpsons where the kids had to sign up for PE classes. And cut to Ralph in Tethered Swimming. *tear* "I don't feel right."
Allee
I always laugh out loud at your comments on the outfits. That's my fav part of this blog :o)
Oh also, I think an essay on how the BSC was geared toward pre-teens and tweens and yet was so big on stereotyping and dumbing down solutions to problems that it raised a generation of now-adults who have no skills to cope with real life.
Or is that just me? :o\ haha
I absolutely cannot wait for your genius to make fun of Mallory's melodramatic mono situation.
My sister and I (thanks to this blog) got into this hobby of rereading all of the BSC books to each other whenever we found time(keep in mind she's 23, I'm 20 haha). Well, we never managed to get through this one we were laughing too much.
It really is something how when I was younger, I used to steal my sister's BSC books and read them obsessively, anticipating being 13 thinking how cool all the girls were and wishing I could be just like the Sitters....heh.
i think almost a book of your essays about the bsc would be great. kind of chuck klosterman-esq. just your opinion on various aspects of the bsc.
also, i basically skipped all the jessi or mal books, cause they were boring. thank you for proving my point.
As always, I love your Blog. I look forward to your entries! I check it often.
PS. I'd love to read other stuff you've written! You definitely have a flair and great talent.
Jessi, you were SWEATING. Enough with the denial.
When this book came out I loved it for some reason. I think it was because it was a summer book and I *loved* the summer books.
I've been re-reading the books lately and damn was Jessi ever boring! The only character who's books overall sucked more were Kristy's, and that was because her books almost always dealt with baby-sitting as the A-story (boring!), or even worse, sports. Ugh.
I love this blog! The BSC has so many memories for me. I even bought the Friends Forever spinoffs, where [spoiler]Claudia ended up dating Alan Gray[/spoiler]. And they were actually kind of cute together.
This blog has taken over my life! I spent my lunch hour at the Goodwill Store looking for old BSC books.
I vote for why they never aged, they were always in 8th grade!
I can't wait to read what you have to say about Mallory getting mono!
To whomever mentioned Sweet Valley High - check out , a SVH blog that I have become addicted to recently (I think I originally followed a link from a prior post here).
As for essay subjects - you could rant for volumes about the age issue. How many real-life 13 year old are allowed to babysit every night of the week, work at Bloomingdale's or whatever, go out with such older kids (thinking specifically of Stacy when they were in California and she is out with her new friends who can drive and gets in an accident), organize and supervise dozens to hundreds of very young children, etc. And how many parents are not only okay with all this, not to mention having their homes and yards turned into a chaotic mess with day camps and crap, but don't even seem to mind that when their kids are threatened or being stalked and they aren't even told about it.
Whoops! Sorry about the crazy link thing happening up there.
Why would a house in Connecticut (the north) be a stop on the underground railroad? Wouldn't they be safe in the North? I could be wrong, but i thought it was pretty much safe once they made it across the Ohio?
Oh. and i'm all for the Gay Stoneybrook. No, i'm not a gay basher. I done caught teh ghey.
I'm so glad I found this site!! I'm happy that I'm not the only one who found the passages about baby sitting to be insanely dull!
About the outfits, I noticed that when the books were first published in the 80's the outfits were pretty on key with the style at that time, but then towards the older books the outfits that the girls would wear were still stuck in the 80's. So they didn't age at all. It's like the world froze in 1986.
I absolutely LOVE your commentary on the books. I loved them when I was 9-12, but now I have no idea how I took them seriously.
Are you going to do California Diaries? Man - those books were supposed to be more mature, but Sunny, Maggie and Dawn just went emo, bitchy, and generally OOC. (Although I can forgive Sunny. A little.)
Hey! People suggested books and Anonymous didn't come and yell at them! Where'd s/he go?
Fuck you! It's October and it's hitting 90 here
So America's being a dick about cooling down too? I thought it was just Japan. Summer next year better be really mild to make up for it.
I totally remembered the sweating/glowing thing. I don't remember any of the rest of the book (probably because I found it really boring) but that bit sticks in my mind.
Also, wtf with everyone being all surprised about Mary Anne and Mallory not joining in the sports thing? C'mon, isn't the fact that they hate sports mentioned in every single fucking book?! And what happened to the BSC being sooooooo accepting of everyone's differences?
Mal accidentally sprains her ankle while trying to pretend to sprain her ankle to get out of the Sports Festival instead just copping to the fact that she doesn't want to/is afraid to participate.
Wait...WHAT?! Is this thing optional or what? Cause if it is, Mal (and MA too) are being serious drama queens. Just don't do it. You're hardly going to be the only ones.
And of course in true BSC tradition they can't have an event with people their own age without creating a kiddie version. One of the many things I find really, really annoying about the BSC...
Ever notice that none of the BSC 'rents ever say, "No, you can't have fifty million children over here. I will not be responsible for that many kids in my yard."
One more thing that I never questioned until you pointed it out. I can't believe that none of them ever had a problem with it. Or that none of their neighbours stuck their head over the fence and yelled "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! THIS IS A FUCKING RESIDENTIAL AREA, YOU KNOW!!!!" like my friend did when the decibel level at the local daycare centre reached rock-concert volume early one morning.
As for the essay, there's so many suggestions there that I like, but I'mma have to vote for the one about how none of them act their age. Second choice is the gay!Kristy one.
This blog has taken over my life! I spent my lunch hour at the Goodwill Store looking for old BSC books.
I feel you there. I bought a ton of BSC books on eBay a couple months ago, and when my finances have recovered from the massive box of Sweet Valley High books I've just had shipped across the Pacific Ocean (they arrived today, woo!) I'm going to have to do the same with all the BSC books on here that Tiff has made me morbidly curious to read. Thank God my job pays decently or I'd be in so much debt by now...
HORSES sweat
MEN perspire
but LADIES glow!
Jessi books were really the worst. Did she ever do anything remotely interesting? She never seemed to have much middle school drama going on (despite the racist kids in Stoneybrook), so all we were left with was dancing/babysitting/hanging out with stupid Mallory. Ugh. I see this book was no exception.
I love your writing, and I'm sure I'd enjoy any essay/book/other BSC related project you did. A suggestion I haven't seen yet is a comparison of the various ghostwriters. I've noticed the ghostwriters names' now that I've been rereading the books, and some of the writers are especially bad and really like to skip the teen drama in favor of babysitting crap (the worst offenders are the ones who wrote Maid Mary Anne, Mary Anne and Miss Priss, and no doubt many more child- and Mary Anne-focused crap). I'd also like to read something about the "no 13 year olds ever do things like this" aspect of the books.
Claudia? WTF? Spandex and suspenders... holy Christ.
hey tiffany, did you do a zine a couple years back with a friend named linda?
i saw a zine at Powell's(in portland) the other day and thought it might be you.
I totally think of the whole sweat/perspire/glow thing every time I see really sweaty (glowy?) people at the gym.
If you're looking for a BSC dissertation-length subject, maybe the constant inconsistency throughout the series, like Dawn being a "vegetarian".
"What would be embarrassing? The "naked run?" The "confess your love while tripping over hurdles" race? The "match the kid with the STD" contest? I don't get it."
LMAO :D Also what a title... you don't even have to read the book, the ending's in the bloody title!
"The stakes in the Kristy-Alan showdown? A week of 'personal service'...Um, yeah. That could be...um...dirty...if one's mind took it in that direction. Which mine totally didn't. Not even close."
-awesome. hehehe. I love how my sheltered little elementary-school mind never picked up on things like that as a kid but now things like that jump out upon rereading. And I wish Kristy had lost. Seeing her being someone's "personal servant" where she couldn't wear her goddamn visor and give orders would have been great.
The cover of this book always bothered me too, even as a kid. I was into ballet and dancing and everything and I always thought Jessi's raised arm looked horrible on the cover.
And yay for the mention of Scrubs! I think it's back on the 25th (in the US at least).
And as far as essays/books/etc., I'd definitely read anything else you're able to publish on the BSC. I'd keep up the snarky tone of this blog in whatever you write... like I could easily see an essay about how they don't behave like normal 13-year-olds getting more serious in tone if you wrote it a certain way (as opposed to a "Kristy is gay" piece, which would be snark-filled no matter what), and I think the tone you have here is perfect. If you're thinking book, you should like do your own take on those "Official Guide to Stoneybrook" books that I never read... snarky profiles of the girls (and their outfits), their charges, all the inconsistencies in the town, fashions, the time warp, a review of some of the worst kid-projects they've taken on, etc. It probably wouldn't happen, but it would be awesome if you were ever allowed to reprint some of the horrific illustrations the Super Specials exhibited. And there could be different chapters with essays about the topics people have tossed about here. I'm not sure if it would actually work as a book that adults outside of this blog's readers would find interesting or if something like that is too big in scope or too parody-esque rather than original, but I'd enjoy anything BSC-related that you wrote. But keep up the blogs too... they're awesome and they seriously get me through the early part of my week at work! :)
Great blog.. I remember having this book. Something you could write about would have to be how they are permanently stuck in the 8th grade. It seems funny to me that they were in the 7th grade in books 1 through the start of 6 and since then they never got any older and I'm sure we had a good number of summers thrown in... hey even a Super Special took place during the summer.
Wow, I remember rather liking this book when I was younger. I think it was because I'd wanted to take synchronized swimming classes but hadn't started yet so I had no real idea how far off the book was. That and swimming was the only sport I was ever reasonable at in elementary school so the thought of a school that made it part of their gym class was appealing.
As for dissertation suggestions... if you want to get all English/sociology analytical, you could explore the "phenomenon" of the Babysitters club and try to establish the source of its appeal (like people did with star wars etc.) That could lead to a whole series of essays about the clothing, cliqueyness, the fact that the girls act years older than they are, the inconsistancies, and the formula the books follow... y'know
Chapter 1 - brief intro to main plot/foreshadowing
Chapter 2 - members intro
Chapter 3 - club description
blah blah blah
When I shelved at a library in highschool and found myself curious about what insanity the BSC was up to, I would skim through the first and second to last chapter...that was all I needed to read to know what had happened in the book.
I remember hating this book. And Jessi always irritated me because I never met another dancer like her - and we NEVER swooned over "Mischa" mostly because he was a jerk. But Jessi is right about one thing (only): A/C is seriously bad for dancers (causes muscle cramps)
I'd love to read about your speculations on the characters at an older age or go into their personalities more.
Re: Connecticut and the Underground Railroad-http://www.ctfreedomtrail.com/site/urailroad.html
Remidial swimming = drowning! (hee!)