Friday, February 29, 2008

Even when you live in a mansion, your car can get stuck; or, BSC #81: Kristy and Mr. Mom

Alright folks...Here's the deal. I'm wicked busy these days, and I have a lot of personal shit going on...Soooooo, posting will continue to be a bit irregular (and no stupid yogurt will help, nor will Yaz) for a while...And, not to be a dick, but I believe I said things would probably be spotty...[Multiple menstrual innuendos in the first paragraph! I'm so proud!] However, I will try to post every other week or so...I do have an RSS feed, so try that instead of checking back every hour...

Oooh, and keep your eyes peeled mid-March, cause I'm going to try to set up a Claudia's Room March Madness bracket! 'Cause I love me some college basketball, no snarkiness at all.

Okay, this is another cover that actually shows shit that happens in the book...



No, David Michael hasn't joined a Rooster Cult; he's in a play (The Brememtown Musicians) and he has a totally lame costume.

Is Watson really that fat? I always pictured him as bald and kinda lanky...I think I recall that from an illustration from one of the Super Specials.

And why does Emily's jumpsuit have color-coordinated shin guards? Cause bitch totally stole that look from me.

Pa-pa-pa-plot!

Watson has a heart attack, then decides to take some time off work, and Nannie moves out cause she thinks they don't want or need her around anymore. But things get crazy, and then Nannie moves back in, and Watson works from home 3 hours a day and everything is all better.

S-s-s-s-s-subplot: Mrs. Marshall is a fucking bitch cow hag. She keeps hiring one sitter than springing another three kids on her (bringing the grand total to FIVE FUCKING YOUNG CHILDREN FOR ONE SITTER). When the girls start bringing help in the form of another BSCer, Mrs. Hag gets pissy and refuses to pay for two sitters. And she not once doubts the wisdom of leaving five kids with an 11-year-old. Finally, things blow up and Stacey refuses to sit for them when Mrs. Bitch Cow [that's totally a "word," RNL. Whatever, I'll make it up if I want!] pulls that shit again. Then Kristy finally confronts her and tra-la-la happy fucking ending.

The finer points:

  • Watson. My good man. Try using a shovel if the car is stuck. Before you try to push. Just saying this as someone who got plowed into a few New England parking lots and driveways...
  • And the "Karen" for Most Specific Job Description Ever in a BSC Book goes to...Watson Brewer! CEO of Unity Insurance in Stamford! You can give your acceptance speech when you get out of the hospital!
  • Kristy is "nuts" about her grandmother. Which just seems...like an odd way to describe a familial relationship.
  • I hate fake gossip. I don't care about Sabrina Bouvier. And at this point, ghostwriter, you're just showing off. "Oh, look at me! I've read other BSC books before writing one!"
  • The only outfit (other than David Michael's costume): "This winter Claud's been into hats. She buys old hats in thrift stores and covers them in sequins, buttons, and really outrageous feathers. Usually she wears them with one of her super trendy outfits, like a red long underwear shirt with tiny black-and-white polka dot suspenders, pinstripe trousers, and ruby sequined slippers." When was that super trendy? And how the fuck would Kristy "Queen of the Sweatshirts" know what was super trendy. Super trendy. Say it, it's fun!
  • "Luv with a capital L." More like lame withe a capital F-U-C-K-I-N-G.
  • Kristy doesn't go in for all that "goopy stuff." Ew, she's so dirty...
  • Did you know that you can't like reading, knitting AND sports? I certainly didn't...Now, which one of these am I going to have to give up?
  • Aw, Logan "manages to charm everyone with his Kentucky accent." I might know somebody like that...[Ahem. Speaking of Kentucky accents, I had an apartment full of Kentucky boys last weekend, and I don't think one of them liked to babysit. Shocking.]
  • I really have no desire to read that super special with the weddings...It's referenced in this book, and it doesn't sound amusing. AT ALL.
  • SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THE DAMN TOILET MONSTER! FUCK!!!!!!
  • Aw, Kristy calls Watson her father. And, like, saves his life or something.
  • Can they really hold the school bus for a kid to run back inside? I think all my bus drivers would've been all "He-ELL no!"
  • This book apparently ran so low on plot that they summarized like five other BSC books in passing.
  • The no one ever ages in these books phenomenon even extends to Dawn's six months in Cali; the kids haven't aged a day in six months. Literally.
  • Ever noticed how many parents in the 'Brook are so desperate to get away from their kids they leave them in less than safe situations?
  • Has Eleanor Marshall always said a w instead of an r? "Tweasure," for example. Cause it's more nauseating than cute.
  • Also, did the BSC really never ask how many kids they'd be sitting for? I kinda recall it in the past. And they don't have a per child rate? That doesn't seem like smart business...
  • Ah, "QRU. Call for Help. Rescue Rangers. Alert! And Emergency Room." Remember in the 90s, when there were 30 million medical dramas? Good times.
  • These people make banners for every single thing that ever happens...I need to start doing that. Oh, wait. No, I really fucking don't.
  • Claymate? Oh, a Claymate! No, I don't think that's right either...Maybe they mean Play-Doh?
  • "Charlie had installed an intercom system to let Watson call almost anywhere in the house." Is he a master electrician in addition to a chauffeur? Lucky guy...Besides, wouldn't walkie-talkies have been easier?
  • Karen calls her mom & stepdad's house "the little house." Bet they luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuv that.
  • Karen has reading glasses and regular glasses? At 7?
  • I realize these girls are really only kids, but they never fucking call the parents (of their sitting charges) out for being dickholes.
  • Oh, it's so sad. Nannie feels pushed out...Watch me...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
  • [That was me getting bored and falling asleep.]
  • Nannie winds up with kickass apartment for a few weeks. But she gives up a beautiful place of her own to take care of somebody else's kids, don't worry.
  • They apparently never told any clients about the "more than one sitter for more than three kids" rule. Why doesn't that really shock me?
  • In fact, they don't even tell Mrs. Marshall the rule when they have the opportunity. Dumbasses.
  • Karen has a "meltdown." And acts like a 14-year-old. You know, sulky, emo-style. But she's only 7. They grow up so fast.
  • Wait, Kristy has to pay for her own school lunches? For real? Cause that's pretty low-rent, Daddy Watson-bucks.
  • "Good Cluck on Your Opening." Fuck. Ing. Lame.
  • Blah, happy ending.

How do you like them apples? By which, of course, I mean your breasts. Heh.

That's all for this week, kids.


PS-I'm a little loopy, so forgive me any spelling or grammars slips. Thanks...


94 comments:

m0drnmoonlight said...

Hahahah I love your reviews. I highly recommend #88, next, "Farewell, Dawn." Just for Mary Anne's reaction when Dawn tells her she wants to move back to CA for good. I won't blow it for you, but let's just say when Mary Anne's full of rage, she's full of rage.

Mary Ann said...

Awww, this was the FIRST BSC book I ever read! Don't ask me why, but my aunt and uncle gave me this book in addition to the pack of #1-#4 for Christmas one year, and I remember being mad that I got books for Christmas... but thank God they did, or else I wouldn't be here now! Kristy & Mr. Mom will always hold a special place in my heart as the one that got me hooked.

And, yeah, you really aren't missing much with that Super Special about weddings... it was when a bunch of the BSC all went to California to be Dawn's step-mom's bridesmaids/babysitters when she and Dawn's dad got married... 'cause everyone totally wants tons of 13 year old girls in and around their wedding...

Thanks so much, Tiff! I love this blog!

Word verification: sibsttu.

Claudia writing in the BSC notebook: "We had a sibsttu teacher in math class today."

Mandy said...

Ok, so this post is really good and stuff, but seriously? That claymate site is awesomely awesome.

Aimee said...

Hahaha, Claymates. Awesome.

Wow, I never realized that Watson looks like Orson Welles' evil twin.

And the Claudia outfit descriptions always KILL me. "Today she was wearing a plastic Wal-Mart bag with sequins glued to the handles. On anyone else, it would've been terrible, but it looked GREAT on Claudia!"

ilovejunk said...

Welcome back, Tiff!

Okay, maybe this is because I'm a Floridian (we have 80-degree Christmases too, Dawn!) and thus totally ignorant of winter clothing, but I absolutely cannot conceive of what a "long underwear shirt" could be. When I read that phrase my brain sort of malfunctioned and shut down for awhile. Can anyone clue me in?

Cover-Watson totally looks exactly like a relative of mine, who is coincidentally also a rich fucker. (We're not close, unfortunately, but then apparently even people who are close won't spare 10 bucks a week for lunch money...). Also, I'm surprised a SUPER GAZILLIONAIRE such as Watson wouldn't already have an intercom system in his GIANT MANSION. I mean, I had an upper-middle-class aunt who had one, and she just lived in a regular (albeit nice) house.

That Claymate thing is quite possibly the funniest thing I have seen this year. Holy shit.

Vwirnvzi - The name of the all-new minority babysitter, an exchange student from the vague "nation" of 'Eastern Europe'! Turns out she's related to Linka from Captain Planet, who becomes Dawn's pen pal, opening the doors for a Super Earth Saving Crossover Super Special!!

I have no idea where the hell that came from, but I think I need my head checked after writing it.

Anonymous said...

I started wearing glasses at seven. My first pair were bifocals simply so that I wouldn't have to deal with having both reading glasses and regular glasses. Not to give Karen (annoying little thing) too much credit, but being seven and needing two pairs of glasses isn't really all that uncommon.

keristars said...

The first little sister book is ALL ABOUT Karen getting her new glasses. She's like "I'm doing bad in school. Whine whine whine. My head hurts. Whine whine whine. But nooo, I can't wear glasses even though they mean I can read and not have headaches all the time because they're UNCOOL and SUPER DORKY."

So she gets TWO PAIRS in pink and blue and she wears the blue ones on a cord around her neck, and suddenly they're super cool.

Only, you know, not.


(I sort of had the first four Little Sis books as a kid and loved them too much. Didn't like the BSC ones as much, because they were stupider, and I was only six.)


Also: I'm also a life-long floridian. I thought a long-underwear shirt is one of those waffle fabric things you wear? I remember wearing them colorful leggings and high-top sneakers in the early nineties (incidentally, the same years I was reading the Little Sis books...)

Peter M said...

I've never read these series of books but your reviews and takes on this children's set of books is f-ing a riot!

author-by-night said...

Just wanted to say I hope the personal shit goes away soon. And I'm sorry that some people here were vastly immature and nasty.

ajane said...

Karen getting her glasses was in like the 7th Little Sister book or something - but yes, there's an entire book dedicated to it. And I believe she is convinced that glasses aren't "uncool" by being told that Santa Claus wears them.

I just wanted to ask - Emily Michelle is two, right? She looks about six on that cover. And David Michael looks ten (and quite ridiculous in that costume). Then again, with such an enigmatic time structure, anyone would get messed up.

Tiff is teh awesome <3

The Dairi Burger said...

Is it ever explained how Kristy's mom and Watson met? I'd be curious to hear that one.

bunny said...

Yay! So glad you're back! And I'd never bitch about you being gone for awhile Tiff, you take your time writing these masterpieces!

Emma said...

I totally read this one! I hated how Watson always got all sappy whenever he saw his kids after his heart attack, like "Waaaaah, I'm gonna sit here and watch you forever 'cause I'll never see you again!*sniffle*". I think this book should've been called 'Kristy and Mr. Mary Anne', because Watson cries more than should be humanly possible.

Word verification: bkfiillc.
A store at the Washington Mall, sort of like a hybrid Burger King/Marshall Field's.

Kelly said...

Huh, so Watson has a job? A job that's so stressful that it gives him a heart attack?

Where was that detail in the early books, where all we hear about Watson is that he's crazy-rich, likes to garden, and is always going on two-week vacations that he lets Kristy bring all her friends on?

From all that, I just kinda figured he was independently wealthy.

Anonymous said...

And what ever happened to Mr. Marshall?

Kylie said...

I thought Watson was independently wealthy too. Cause since Ben Brewer haunts the house he must have lived there too, so Watson inherited house and money from him.

Laura said...

I think - *blush* that I'm the only person alive who got a kick out of "Here Come The Bridesmaids." I LOVE the implausibility of all those 13 year olds running the wedding. I even have a spare copy I can send you, Tiff!

Ilovejunk- I totally had the same issues too. Long underwear shirt? I kind of pictured actual underwear with sleeves, which made me think of a leotard, which confused me even further. And are the suspenders really tiny or the polka dots on them? Think, Kristy!

Kae-rae said...

Yes, a long underwear shirt is a waffle knit shirt. They are also sometimes called thermal.
I, who am insanely jealous of all of you Floridians (rub it in why don’t you) ;), am an expert on long underwear, as I come from the Arctic (not really, but it seems like it right now). I actually have quite a few. But I could never pull one off as well as Claudia, although I have a really cute lavender one that would look great with one of those hats! Extra sequins please!

MoxieHart said...

Wow, I am loving that *cough*cock*cough* chicken costume.
Word Verification: Gadic.
Claudia trying to say "garlic" with a mouth full of Cheetos, Ho-Ho's, and Mallomars.
W/b, Tiff. Your posts always cheer me up after a long day at the customer service desk, dealing with people who dress like Claudia and Stacey.

Jobetta said...

This is a "long underwear" shirt -- also known as thermal .

In the '90s (and now, for that matter), these were often worn under button-up or flannel shirts. Big with the grunge crowd.

Anonymous said...

Just want to say thanks to Tiff for her fine work and noble efforts to review those Babysitting Fiends. I started the BSC books back in '86 (I was in second grade) and maintained a love-hate relationship w/ all the kids from the 'Brooke for the next five years. I got so incensed over "Kristy and the Snobs" at age 8 that I actually wrote ANM & her publisher to tell them that they were full of shit - not in so many words, I'm sure. Ms Martin & Co did not see fit to reply to my epistle - this left a huge psychological scar - manifests itself to this day whenever I encounter literature of BSC level; I must riff, or die. Now approaching my 30th year, I stumbled across this blog last week; be prepared for more appreciation & comments from your friend
Miss Swartz

PS - I knew Watson was bald, but never pictured him as a fatass like that. And weren't we all told that the mansion was part of the old-money thing back in "Kristy's Big Day"? And I was once really proud of my late 80s hot-pink & lavender frames until that little f***er Karen stole my look.

Snappy McSparagus said...

I live in Pennsylvania and I'm wearing a 'long underwear shirt' right now, LOL.

Great entry. I was so annoyed with all that rooster nonsense when I read this one.

eponine said...

"The first little sister book is ALL ABOUT Karen getting her new glasses."

It was the fifth book... the first was when Karen harassed Morbidda Destiny, the second was when she broke her wrist, the third was when she had her worst day ever, the fourth... I don't remember, but it was the fifth.

Don't ask how I remember that cause I have no idea.

Excellent snark as always...

ajane said...

the dairi burger: Watson is first introduced in Kristy's Great Idea. I haven't read that one in ages, but I don't think we learn much more than Elizabeth meets Watson, Kristy thinks he's a dick.

Kristen said...

The 4rth Little Sister book is the one where Karen starts a Cat-Sitting club. And there is a typo in it where Karen refers to "Mom and Watson," even though that makes no sense. Do not even ask why I remember.

Watson could have inherited money and still have a job. Or inherit money from a family business that he now works at. But he always worked, that was why they needed Nannie to move in when they adoped Emily.

m0drnmoonlight said...

Mary Ann:

I think in addition to Mary Anne and Dawn being bridesmaids in Dawn's father's wedding, Stacey was chosen to be a bridesmaid in Mrs. Barrett's wedding when she married...crap...Mr. DeWitt I think his name was. And since that was a family with 3 kids marrying into a family of 4 kids, there was more babysitting to be done during the preparation. I read it ages ago, and it never really stuck with me. I'm sure I'm missing more hahahah. My favorite Super Special will always be #7, Snowbound, where they all get stranded in a blizzard in random places (Jessi at ballet school, Stacey and her mom in their car, Dawn at the airport). I think I bought that one from one of those book order things at school!

And yeah, Karen got glasses early on in her series. Typical book that teaches kids how to react when you get glasses and all the other kids tease you.

eponine said...

My favorites were Snowbound and the Camp Mohawk one...

I seriously havev no memory of Little Sister #4... I'm sure I read it, probably even owned it, it must not have been that exciting.

Grace said...

Snowbound was the best, without a doubt. I wonder were my copy is...

I was literally reading "Mr Mom yesterday, and I never even knew Watson worked until this book.

Mary Ann said...

m0drnmoonlight, ohhhh yeah! I remember that one with Mrs. Barrett's wedding now... something about how the little kid escaped from the baby-sitters at the wedding and ran up to the alter to be with the parents during the ceremony.

Snowbound was a good one... I remember I thought it was weird how Jessi had to teach the other kids at the dance school how to brush their teeth with their fingers, and it included more of that horribly written French accent that Jessi's dance teacher had.

I always liked the Super Special where they went to Shadow Lake; I think that was the first Super Special I read. I always thought the part was funny that when all the baby-sitters went out to dinner and the waiter came to take their order but no one was ready, and they didn't know what to do, so they all looked at Stacey because she was so "sophisticated," and she said, "We need a few more minutes." The rest of them acted as if waiters and restaurants only existed in New York City or something.

ajane said...

My favorite Super Special would have to be #5, California Girls! where Mal is all "omg I have to be blonde and schmexy now that I'm in CALIFORNIA" and Stacey is all "omg I'm totally getting into this convertible of some guy I hardly know and we're going to CRASH" and Dawn is all "omg Carol I can't believe you would take Mal to get tarted up but won't keep Stacey's car crash a secret YOU COW". And... yeah I forget what else happens.

Word verification - aeawc. The name of the art school that Ashley Wyeth daydreams about opening one day: Art's Everything: Ashley Wyeth College.

Anonymous said...

That made me laugh, ajane. You think Claudia could get in? ;)

ajane said...

^ No, Claud can't get in because SHE WANTS A LIFE OUTSIDE OF ART. What a traitor.

Word verification: llemfoml. It's Claud-under-the-bed talk for "looking for my life." (Yeah that one was not quite as good as the previous)

valuemeal2 said...

Karen got her two pairs of glasses in LS #5, Karen's School Picture. Since then, she talks about them for a whole fucking paragraph in EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN LITTLE SISTER BOOK. I have never heard of this two glasses thing happening, either... my glasses that I have to wear all the time *gasp* ALSO HELP ME READ!

colleenn said...

ajane - I also loved California Girls for Jessi's "omg the director said he *liked* my *looks* and now I'm going to be an actress oh no wait I remember now that I love ballet and now I have to spend all my time stretching out because I haven't practiced all week!" I always loved the books where Jessi became an actress for ten minutes. But when I was younger Snowbound was always my favorite Super Special. I never owned a copy though... sad. And I think Starring the BSC may have replaced it as my favorite even though I was getting way too old for the BSC by the time that one came out. It was still awesome.

And I had a hideous dark pink "long underwear shirt" in probably 1993 that I often wore with black leggings. I also had bright pink socks that matched the shirt. And probably a pink scrunchie. I blame my matchy-machty-ness on the BSC books.

Anonymous said...

How do you like them apples? By which, of course, I mean your breasts....

Yeah, they get it. It was funny.

LOVE HER!

Anonymous said...

I F*cking Matt Damon! No, not really.

I wanted to say that in one of the books (IDK which one) it mentions that Liz and Watson met through work. Liz works for a big company in Stamford but we never know what she actually does.

Also, I'm a weirdo. I say this because I never (despite all desriptions) pictured watson as fat or balding. I actually picture him as Shaun Cassidy (the current adult Cassidy.) Don't know why, just like to have something sexy in there to spice up the story a little in my mind I guess.

eponine said...

AMM just gave Karen two glasses so she could go with the two-two thing...

And also cause she was probably out of ideas by the fifth book. i mean, what does Karen do? At least with the Babysitter's club, they babysat. Karen is just obnoxious

amanda said...

colleenn, I totally had a pink 'long underwear shirt' that I wore with black leggings too. My leggings were velour, and had stirrups. hot. :-p

*blush* I also had a black long underwear shirt, and pink velour leggings. ah, 1994 :-p

Kristen said...

I know some people with two pairs of glasses.....but they are all over fifty. It is usual someone who needs glasses for distance when they are younger, abut start to need reading glasses when they get older and lose their close-vision.

There is one Karen book that actually talks about the summer the BSC goes to Shadow Lake. I thought it was really cool that they were some kind of cross over or something. I was easy to please, I guess.

Ryan said...

Didn't Karen have a chapter or two in the Shadow Lake Super Special? My memory is failing. . . maybe because it blocks out crap . . . who knows. Snowbound was my favorite SS, too, and I never owned it, either. I was too old for the BSC by the time this one came out, but it somehow doesn't make the snark any less amusing.

Claymates . . . wow. That's all I have to say.

Oh, and we have really warm Christmases here in Louisiana, too. Our weather is just crazy unpredictable, though. For example, it was eighty degrees and sunny yesterday, and it's supposed to sleet tomorrow. I guess I should make sure my sequined suspenders and thermal shirt are ready to go . . .

Kylie said...

Anonymous @1.04 - in one of the Karen books it says Elizabeth works in advertising.

MoxieHart said...

Since we're talking about Super Specials...I'm a little embarassed to admit it, since people seem to dislike it, but my favorite SS was the one where they're stranded on the island. I just like that it showed that Claudia wasn't a total tard, and that she could think critically and come up with good, non-paper machier ideas.
Also, when you're 8, the idea of being stranded is Oh Noes scary.

colleenn said...

Amanda, my black leggings were also stirrups, but unfortunately were not velour. But I did also own pink leggings (non-stirrup, also non-velour). I wore them with a black sweatshirt most of the time. :)

Ryan said...

Any time I get nostalgic for the old days of giant t-shirts paired with stirrup stretchy pants, I just hit up Wal-Mart on a Saturday and watch others make such a tragic fashion mistake.

P.S. I am very Claudia today, as I am wearing five different stud earrings and none of them match.

Kae-rae said...

I am wearing a grey long underwear shirt right now, under my polar fleece. I actually own a hot pink one, but it's COLD right now. But I have absolutely no pairs of leggings, so at least I have something going for me.

Karen inspired me when I read the book where she got her glasses. I decided that I needed glasses. And 2 pairs for that matter.

I actually pretended I could not see and when my parents took me to the optometrist, I argued and insisted (I was a sassy child) that I needed AT LEAST ONE PAIR of glasses, even when they told me I did not need them. I was so pissed.

Isn't the Disney World SS where Karen has her own chapters, and runs off and gets her nails done on Watson's account (purple nails, if I remember)? But I could be wrong, the only thing I remember about the Shadow Lake one is where they discribe Stacey's hair as orange and and frizzy from her "bodywave".

Also, I may just be remembering this wrong, but didn't they have like a miniture train and tracks that you could ride around on in the backyard at Watson's? Or was that a different series? If it was them, you can't tell me they had a motorized mini-train but no intercom system.

Mary Ann said...

Ryan-- Yes, Karen did have a chapter or two in the Shadow Lake SS, and, if I remember correctly, I think a couple of her friends like Hannie Papadakis had a chapter, too.

Kae-Rae-- I remember Karen's purple nails things! I think that was when they were on a cruise or something? I don't remember anything about Disney World though, which is weird since I am Disney Crazy! I will have to try to find that one and re-read it.

Kae-rae said...

Yeah, they were on a cruise in the first part (where she got her nails done), then went to Disney. Why was I always stuck going on road trips to the Badlands or Yellowstone?

Emma said...

The book y'all are talking about is the first SS, Baby Sitters on Board. They go on a fancy Bahamas cruise and dock in Disney World. Karen felt like getting a manicure and charged it to her cabin. And then she got thirsty, but she didn't want regular drinking fountain water, so she went to a restaurant and ordered a Coke. She did this while she was supposed to be getting her ear plugs (Kristy was taking her swimming) and Kristy didn't even get mad! Come on, now! Manicures take at least a good 45 minutes, am I right?
And kae-rae: The BSC took a road trip to the Badlands and Yellowstone in SS 14: BSC in the USA. Yes, I'm a nerd. ;)

Kristen said...

My favorite SS was always the first one, I think. But I could never figure out where in the scheme of things it fell. It was summer, but Logan is never mentioned, and that is the start of 8th grade (the first time). Plus, Mallory is still a sit-ee in that book. She did her lame Harriet the Spy thing.

Kae-rae said...

OOOOHHHH, emma!!!!! Did they get to go to Glacier National Park too, just like me? Or how about Devil's Tower? Actually, I did have a BSC moment in Glacier where my father and I saved a drowning girl! Wow, see I really was keepin' up with the BSC!

I think that SS was after I stopped reading the series. Was that the one where they go on a split road trip? And everyone acts like a stupid cow? I think I read a recap somewhere.

kelly said...

i'm a floridan too...a long underwear shirt sounds absolutely atrocious !

Anonymous said...

kae-rae: yeah, one group heads north and one heads south. tiff blogged about that one awhile ago. i have to say, it was always one of my favorites!

Mary Ann said...

I liked the BSC Road Trip SS, too. The thing that I always remember from that one is how Claudia managed to buy a real Georgia O'Keefe skull drawing at a little shop somewhere and didn't realize it. And then I was watching Jeopardy with my parents not too long after I read it, and there was a question like, "This artist was famous for her skull drawings" and I yelled out the "GEORGIA O'KEEFE!" and my parents were like, "Uhhh, how did you know that?" So I guess I have to give the BSC some credit for that little tidbit of knowledge.

Word verification: klumdd.

Nothing to do with the BSC, but the defintion of "klumdd" would have to be when Heidi Klum hits you over the head.

Mehreen said...

I liked Here Come the Bridesmaids because I always like weddings and the more implausible the fact scenario the better! The height of fashion in my day (4th grade, 1993) were Bart Simpson oversized t-shirts w/black stirrup leggings...cool your jets man!

Word verification: gkenrety

Dawn's favorite organic vegetable, akin to a gherkin.

Donna said...

""Luv with a capital L." More like lame withe a capital F-U-C-K-I-N-G."

I love you.

danoke said...

I loved the reference to the Jimmy Kemmel surge of late! Those videos, well, mainly "I'm F**king Ben Affleck" were awesome!

Anonymous said...

Hey! I just found your blog and had to post. It is hilarious and so right on! I was the biggest BSC fan growing up. Reading your blog has made me feel all nostalgic. Keep up the great work and I will keep checking back!

Muzition said...

But how DO they use the toilet if there's a monster in it? Do they just not use it?


Word verification: btglohjj -- the sound the toilet monster makes when you flush him.

Anonymous said...

Wasn't the toilet monster the thing where they just wouldn't flush the toilet? Or they had to run from the bathroom to their bed before it finished flushing? Or something?

Anonymous said...

Oh! Camp Mohawk! I really wanted to go to Camp Mohawk. Really, really badly. I was not allowed to go to sleep away camp as my parents held fast to the belief that sleep away camp is where nice Jewish girls are corrupted and learn how to give blow jobs. Which is not entirely untrue.

emma said...

come on!!! i go to jew camp and it is sooooo fun!!!! although my camp DOES kind of corrupt people... it's co-ed...oooooh ;)

stephanie said...

I haven't figured out how or why, but BSC outfits ruined a part of me.

Anonymous said...

This is AMAZING. Who knew, when i googled "baby sitters club" in a fit of nostaligia that I'd find this magicalness? My stomach hurts from laughing...

Anyways, I just want to throw out a suggestion for review, book number 100 "Kristy's Worst Idea." I would love to hear your comments on the ultimate BSB-land time never passing phenomenon...when they somehow START OVER EIGHTH GRADE.

ajane said...

While requests are being thrown out... I request #1! Kristy wears a FREAKIN' DRESS! AS EVERY DAY ATTIRE!

megankoumori said...

Funny. I always thought Watson looked more like this:

http://www.pinkshollywood.com/images/Hal-Holbrook.jpg

And less like this:

http://media.collegepublisher.com/media/paper851/stills/3ffcec06df889-65-1.jpg

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to say good luck with everything and don't worry about blogging regularly until you get your life in order. We'll be patient! Love the site.

Kae-rae said...

See, I always pictured Watson like a bald Matt Lauer. I thought that he was a generally attractive man who happened to have no hair.

As an adult(perhaps thanks in part to this cover), I picture him as a less creepy sort of Dr. Phil.

Being as that I usually skim over books looking for the good parts, I never really understood if he shaved his head, had male pattern baldness, or a combo.

Speaking of Super Specials, Kristy, and our BSC favs, I loved Snowbound where Kristy locks herself in the bathroom all early in the morning to get all "girly" because Bart got stuck over night. She wanted to look all hot and stuff. Even though he sees her in all of her ugliness and frump-wear every other day.

NHB-BSC said...

Am I the only one who calls long underwear "long johns?" I would have said Claudia was wearing a Long Johns shirt. Maybe that's just my family though...

Seriously can think of nothing funny for my word verification. wdhyjj.

When I was looking for daycare for my son, I was searching craigslist and I came across an 18 year old who had an ad for the "NGBSC" New Generation Baby Sitters Club. Of course I called her first. She didn't even bother to show up for an interview. Kristy Thomas would haved kicked her ASS! I wanted to ask to see her Kid Kit.

colleenn said...

nhb-bsc, my family (or at least my father anyway) says longjohns. I don't know how common it is nationwide though because my parents have pretty thick old-school Boston accents and sometimes I'm not sure what is relatively normal and what is just their odd regionalisms. :)

Anonymous said...

http://www.arcamax.com/pic/48708/553181

Look at Billy, too embarrassed to cross gender boundaries! He'll be too much a he-man when he grows up to notice that the BSC made him gay.

Kae-rae said...

Long johns and long underwear are the same thing. I hear both, but I picture long johns as those things old men wear, you know, with the square crotch?

I think it is a regional thing also...I call it waffle knit, it sounds cuter.

eponine said...

I say thermals instead of long-johns or long underwear...

It sounds a little more appealing to say you're wearing a thermal shirt (which I do.. a lot. I think they're comfy and they can be cute in the right colors) than a long underwear shirt

Ali said...

Yay you're back!

Two comments!

1) I had a bus driver who used to make kids chase him. Lame.

2) I blame the BSC books for my belief that phonetically spelling out accents and baby-talk was what professional writers did.

MIMI said...

Now write us another one.

YOU OWE US!

OWE US!!! *shakes fist*

Kristen said...

For any of you that want something to read while you wait for an update:

http://bscrevisited.blogspot.com/

Emma said...

Ya know, I call those really long donuts long johns. Thermals are also sometimes called henleys, because there are thinner ones and you can wear, like, 50 of them at once and they'd add up to the thickness of one regular shirt. :)

word verification: tbmogs- what the little kids in the 'Brook called each other in that one book when they weren't allowed to watch TV (tv hogs...?).

Anonymous said...

yeah have a cry... boo fuckin hoo people really like my blog.

emma said...

wait...what? i don't understand...

Kristen said...

I don't either...

kempstsr said...

he/she is mocking the fact that tiff has to reiterate to the clamoring audience that she can only post infrequently. at least, i guess they are.

Dave said...

Has anybody else seen the anime version of the first book? Sure enough, Watson looks nothing like he does on the cover of Kristy and Mr. Mom.
And yes, the anime version is wonderfully awful. I noticed they got certain minor points wrong relative to the original book (mostly Stacey's clothes and such).

Anonymous said...

OK HERE IS MY COMMMENT........

SABRINA BOUVIER WHO THEY BITCH ABOUT...
backtrack to the book thats like in #1-20ish...to the Miss Stoneybrook Pageant. one of the contestants is Sabrina Bouvier. She grew from a child contestant to a fellow classmate? in like a series? 7 or 8 years? am i wrong?? i always always thought of this throughout reading EVERY SINGLE BOOK...i was a huge fan. had the dolls, had the little dolls, had the boardgame, was in the club and got a tshirt in the mail, got the newsletter, had my own club at school (i was stacey)..and then i became Claudia. funny i was an ADDICT and a half

Anonymous said...

Yeah, the two Sabrina Bouviers were pretty obvious. There were also two Ryan DeWitts (sitting charges), one in Stoneybrook and one in California, and I always wondered if the ghostwriters were just trying to cover up their mistake when they followed it up with "But this is just a coincidence!"

nhb-bsc said...

I love finding BSC mentions in pop-culture. Does anyone read The Onion (either in paper or online?) In this week's issue they highlight the career highlights of the recently retired eBay CEO.
"September 24, 2004: Bought herself a used copy of Baby Sitter's Club 4: Mary Anne Saves the Day."

Boo-yah!

nhb-bsc said...

I love finding BSC mentions in pop-culture. Does anyone read The Onion (either in paper or online?) In this week's issue they highlight the career highlights of the recently retired eBay CEO.
"September 24, 2004: Bought herself a used copy of Baby Sitter's Club 4: Mary Anne Saves the Day."

Boo-yah!

nhb-bsc said...

I'm a tard, sorry for posting that last comment twice.

Amber T. said...

Kristy always infuriated the hell out of me for some reason.

David Michael looks like a dodo bird.

Anonymous said...

I just found this website and it's hilarious. I'm 25 and it's totally bringing back some major memories from my childhood. Although some of the newer books I never read because I outgrew them. Keep up the good work

Emii said...

Aww, it wasn't that bad! :(

Cathy said...

Karen is supposed to be very smart for her age. Somewhere in the series they say that she skipped a grade, so maybe that's the explanation for the reading glasses. Anyways, I don't really like this review. Not because I think you can't criticize the BSC - I love What Claudia Wore, for example - it's just that the way you do it is annoying, I just wanna tell you "If you're that much bored, just don't read it". And you say "fuck" way to often for me.

metamorphstorm said...

If you're planning on doing (or have done, and I missed it somehow) "Stacey's Choice," look at the bottom of page 109 -- MARY ANNE'S MOM SHOWS UP AT STACEY'S HOUSE. Oops, some ghostwriter really forgot to read even though at the beginning of the book in the horribly long and repetitive intro to every book it DOES mention that her mom died when she was a baby...just thought you'd want to know since you make fun of the books (and do it well). The book has other errors too, but that's one of the biggest and the one I laughed most at... :P

Meo said...

Hello Dear Author,

I really like your funny post about babysitter, My mood is rude but after reading your post now i am smiling ....Thanks

Now i am also attached with babysitting services. my website is
http://babysittergo.com

Dstinyseatings said...

http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=17971633&postID=711933062338105881&page=1&token=1382961193900

metamorphstorm said...

Isn't it "more than one sitter for more than four kids?" Because in most of the books Kristy winds up with a job for David Michael, Emily Michelle, Andrew, and Karen and never hires another sitter . . . and then there are those Pike-centered books where Mal (or whoever) ends up sitting for Vanessa, Nicky, Margo, and Claire, and the only time the sitter calls for help is when Nicky takes off because he feels left out and unwanted, whatever, and some sitter has to go find him. The clearest example I have of this is in the book with Dawn's secret passage, which I remember because Nicky hides in it and drops a bunch of junk in there when hiding from the triplets and his sisters.

I always thought he should have run off in more books . . . I hate when kids do it, but it would have been pretty realistic if it had happened more often, considering how many books Nicky wanted to do stuff with the triplets and they tell him pretty plainly they don't want him around - and in one of the Sea City books, I remember the baby-sitters talk about having had to "convince the triplets to let Nicky join them on the beach," and even as a kid all I could think was, "They're kids - tell 'em how it's gonna be and enforce it; if they put up a fight, send 'em back to the beach house until they're ready to behave." Obviously my parents weren't Stoneybrookites.