Two. If my loyal readers sense a slightly less affectionate tone towards the books I've been blogging about lately, there is a reason. I don't feel even the slightest bit of nostalgia for these later books because I didn't read them when I was a kid. I've blogged most of the books I read when I was younger (with a few notable hard-to-find exceptions), so I'm pretty much reading stuff that I've never read before, and these books are pretty terrible when you're reading them for the first time as a full-fledged adult. They just are. So there.
So, on to the cover of this week's book:
That poor kid on the cover. Not only is he miserable, but he's pudgy and unathletic and he can't even snap his jacket properly. Plus, Mary Anne is totally dressed like a soccer mom. And she's neglecting the Kuhn daughters, cause she's hanging outside with the boys. Oops.
I also didn't know that "boyfriends and baby-sitting don't mix!" Especially since everyone makes a friggin' huge deal about how awesome it is that Logan baby-sits.
Is it plot-tastic? You decide...
Mary Anne's spending a lot time sitting for the recently-divorced Kuhn family (imagine that...she's got a lot of jobs with one family for this book only!), and Jake's all depressed. And MA decides that Jake needs a male in his life. A sporty male. So, without consulting Mrs. Kuhn (who's probably wanting a little male company as well...just sayin'), MA invites Logan to stop by and play with Jake. Play sports, sickos! And Jake's all happy, and he's getting better at sports, and he's getting a lot too attached to Bruno and there's a bunch of description of Jake & Logan being all sporty. Then, Mrs. Kuhn comes home early and finds Logan there. And Mary Anne, being a complete pussy, doesn't try to explain the situation (cause she thinks Mrs. Kuhn will think MA is criticizing her mothering or something--still not entirely sure why), and Logan's off like a shot. And then Mrs. Kuhn calls the BSC, and everyone's all pissed at MA (and she still doesn't fucking explain the situation). AND they're all fucking paranoid that Mrs. Kuhn will call every parent in the 'Brook and no one will ever use the BSC again! But, of course, they're fucking retarded. And everything gets tied up with a neat little bow at the end.
Subplot-tastic? Not so much...A bunch of the kids decide to have a haunted house (oh, yeah, it's Halloween again somehow), but they get in a tussle about whether it should be funny or gross/scary. So, they have competing ones, and the BSC are only marginally involved. Oh, and it's wicked boring.
Some light reading...
- There was almost another subplot...Jessi thinks Logan should take up ballet.
- This book starts with Mary Anne waking up from a dream. Doesn't that happen in a couple of hers?
- Heh...Mary Anne's all psyched cause "I was caught up with my homework, not one person was mad at me, my boyfriend and I were getting along great, my family was happy, and the Baby-sitters Club was not overwhelmed with work." Wow, she has really high standards...And how many people are normally mad at her? Seriously?
- "I had picked out my clothes the night before: a brand-new pair of rust-colored corduroy slacks, a blue button-down shirt, and a floral-patterned white cotton sweater. That's my look--Neat Preppy Casual--and I love it." Um, she's a total soccer mom!!!! That sounds like something my mom would wear.
- Ah, joking around at breakfast. "The Schafer/Spier Morning Comedy Hour." Bitch should hear some of the comedy between me and RNL at breakfast. It might make her blush...
- Wow, deep Stacey contributes this jewel of wisdom...You never totally get over your parents' divorce. Especially not after like, two months...[shaking head sadly]
- Ha! Logan's about to strip for the ladies!!! But they get all shy and stop him. Damn shame. Nothing hotter than a 13-year-old boy's bare chest.
- Kristy attacks Alan Gray at school, and he gets in trouble. The fuck?
- Shannon wants to take sackbut lessons. And they're way more mature about it than I would've been...
- It's EXTREEEEEEEEEEME happiness.
- I thought Patsy Kuhn was way younger than five...I can't keep all these fucking kids straight.
- Jake "insults" Buddy Barrett by calling him "Cruddy Carrot," and Cruddy, in turn calls Jake "Fake Prune." Yeah...
- Oh, Stacey..."Stacey was wearing this stunning black double-breasted tuxedo-style suit with a satiny white tank underneath." Yeah, she and Robert had gone to Chez Pierre. And she looked ass.
- All these bitches tell terrible stories.
- Jake doesn't even ask his mom if he can have the haunted house. These kids never ask their fucking parents, and their parents never tell them no! The hell?
- This book was really fucking boring.
- MA thinks she's "become the great embarrassment of the Baby-sitters Club." Trust me, there's plenty for all the girls to be embarrassed about. Just saying.
- Why do these girls insist on creating acronyms for everything? Did they go to library school or something?
- "Having a club doesn't mean anything if we don't support each other?" Wow, Jessi, that borders on deep...
- Mrs. Arnold calls for an emergency sitter cause she lost one of her contacts and has to get it replaced. Doesn't she have glasses?
- Carolyn imitates a chicken by saying "buck-buck-buck," and all I could hear was
[Fuckin' stooges already pulled the video from youtube...it was GOB's chicken dance from Arrested Development...]
- Groit. Is it a disease? Or an Australian saying great? The world will never know...
- Logan freaks out cause MA talks about him using makeup! As part of a zombie costume! What if somebody hears?!?!?
- Alan Gray helps out with one of the haunted houses...Cause he likes to help children. Or something...
Well, that's that. This book was really, really lame. And dull. There wasn't even that much to mock...